New caregiver here - looking for some encouragement and advice!
Hi all - my name is Michaelene and my husband, Michael (yes, we are Michael and Michaelene), just got diagnosed with metastatic squamous cell carcinoma (right lymph node). Only symptom was a swollen lymph node, but the biopsy has confirmed it. He did a contrast CT scan yesterday and they don't see any other tumors and nothing else of concern based on the scan. I assume next step will be a PET scan and some testing of his mouth area. I expect something in that area will be discovered eventually based on everything I have read on this site, but for now, this is all we know.
I am freaking the F out (excuse the boldness, but it feels warranted here). We are only about 2 days into this, so I understand I need to give myself some grace and time to absorb all of this, but I still find it extremely hard to believe this is happening and I am having a hard time not going to some very dark places. My husband is the strongest person I know. He is my rock. He is our girls' everything (7 & 3). He believes he will survive this and I believe he will too. He doesn't have a choice. If anyone can do it, this man can. He is truly THAT person. But, I don't think he has any idea about the journey he is about to embark on. He's a trial lawyer and he literally talks for a living. The idea of mouth sores, and feeding tubes, and lost teeth are terrifying to me and I know he will struggle once he figures this all out too. He's a big guy - 6'6 260+ lbs. I guess maybe having a few extra pounds is a good thing considering what is coming!
With all of that said, I would greatly appreciate any advice on things he can do to proactively prepare for treatment. We meet with Dr. Villaflor at City of Hope on Tuesday for his first "real" appointment since diagnosis and I assume this will be informative and completely overwhelming. He has a tooth that needs a crown that he has been putting off and a mouth full of metal fillings. I plan on getting him an appointment with an oral surgeon ASAP. This man cannot lose his teeth. He plans to work through treatment as much as he can. He needs to believe he can do this to push through. Any recommendations? What about vitamins and supplements he can start taking now?
I read about red light therapy to help speed up mouth healing. Anyone done that or have a recommendation on a tool I can purchase?
Lastly (I promise I am almost done) what can I do to help him? I am trying to keep it together in front of him (he did find me hiding in our closet crying this morning), but it is hard. I plan to go to every appointment and every treatment and I am already pulling together a "team" of his most positive and loving friends and family. My mom is going to move in with us once treatment starts to help me with the girls so I can make sure he is taken care of and as comfortable as possible. Any other words of encouragement or advice is greatly appreciated. I am already thankful for finding this website and the advice to stop Googling - boy was that a rough path to go down.
I would also appreciate any prayers you can spare for Michael and our family. I believe in the power of prayer and that God has a plan (even if I have no idea what that is at the moment!)
Thank you from the bottom of my somewhat broken and very scared heart.
Michaelene
Comments
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Sorry to hear of all this. First, I would not give the cancer more power than it already has. It is perhaps the most feared word in the language. Second, consider a second opinion at a major NCI center (if you are not already at one, you can find the nearest center here: https://www.cancer.gov/research/infrastructure/cancer-centers/find ). Third, try not to smother him - it is very common for cancer patients to feel smothered with attention. They need some time to work things out and think things through by themselves. Fourth: Take care of yourself! You are no good at all if you break down and cannot care for children or hubby - happened to my wife and I could not visit her in hospital! Spend time away with friends. Arrange for someone to sit in for you - you might be surprised who steps up and who steps back. A spa day, hobby, movie, concert, massage or hair, nails - something, anything to lighten the load. You are worth it. Fifth: What do you believe? Do you have any spiritual practice? We are body and spirit and the spiritual aspect is routinely neglected. I hope that something in here is of help.
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Thank you! I really appreciate the advice. I can’t imagine doing something for myself right now or really even enjoying it at the moment, but I understand this will all likely change once we are in the throes of his treatment. I’ll keep this all in mind!
We are all set for an appointment at a NIC facility next week.
Thanks again for taking the time to respond!
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Hello Michaelene,
I too, was a caregiver for my husband when he was diagnosed over 10 years ago with stage 4 squamos cell carcinoma of the piriform sinus with 2 lymph nodes also cancerous. These first days/weeks are so scary and upsetting. But here we are, 10+ years later and my husband is doing great. I agree with the advice to go to a teaching hospital or large cancer center if possible. We chose the University of Chicago and never regretted the choice. Taking care of yourself so you can be there for him and your children is also very important. You mentioned teeth and fillings. UofC recommended mouth guards made by our local dentist to use during radiation to help prevent mouth sores. He also was prescribed a mouth rinse that really helped, also. He did not lose any teeth and does not have any dental problems now. These are scary times and the treatment can be very difficult but there is hope. This site is filled with others who have been and are where you are now. The advice, wisdom and support here is and was a real help and comfort to us. It may feel like it sometimes, but you are not alone.
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Thank you - this gives me so much hope! It’s hard not to get lost in all the fear and sadness. I know it will get easier over time, but right now it is hard to hold it together.
thank you for the encouragement about the side effects and what to expect! Never thought we would be dealing with treating C and then have to actually think the aftermath of treatment might be worse!
We are all set with a phenomenal national cancer center about an hour from us. Our first appointment is Tuesday and I’m terrified, but also anxious to just know more.
thanks again for taking the time to respond. Congratulations to you and your husband on 10+ years! I can’t wait to write that one day!!
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Knowledge is power. Study up on the cancer and the treatment options. Normally, there is a standard therapy and optional lines of treatment, but depending on the specific molecular makeup of the disease, sometimes one of the options might be better. The list of potential side effects may sound horrible - but none is as horrible as untreated disease! As to appointments, you will have many questions - best to write them on a note pad so that you do not forget to ask them. PROGNOSIS...well, that applies to groups of patients and to no one in particular. I see too much focus on prognosis. Seeking a prognosis (predicting the future) is a real double-edged sword. As an example of prognosis, mine began as "poor" and dropped to "extremely poor" after an immediate relapse. Well, it relapsed again, then split into two different cancers and I developed a third marrow cancer from years of treatment. After that first relapse, no prognosis could be given. Indeed, none applied. Anyway, I ramble on, so keep reading the comments here as they will be a great help.
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Michaelene,
I don't think anyone ever heard the word "Cancer" without being shocked and scared by it.
Try to stay as calm as you can. It will help your husband - if you maintain a hopeful, strong reaction. With that said, it sounds like he has everything going for him - a loving family, great health and tons of support!
The next steps are just to find out the "primary" (where it may have started). Depending on that, treatment will likely consist of radiation, and perhaps some chemo. Cancer treatment is progressing, though - so maybe a newer treatment will be available.(?)
I personally was able to work through almost all of my treatment (I'm a construction engineer) - but I will certainly admit, I was very tired at times. He will need rest, if treatment and recovery slows him down for a little while. He needs to give himself time to heal!
He should certainly get his dental care taken care of (which is a good idea in any situation).
I always give the same advice - EAT EAT EAT - all of his favorites and LOTS of them. Temporary loss of taste cannot be described...
The people on here are ALL proof that Cancer can be beaten, and life goes on! You are in the right place, with the survivors on this site. They will all try to provide advice and support!
I wish you the best possible outcome from this. You WILL get through it ... and look back on it, someday. The oddest thing about my experience (I finished 3 years ago) - is that it changed my outlook on life (for the better). I no longer take things for granted ... as I once did - and things that are important in life (like good-hearted/beautiful people) are cherished!
Curt
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Michaelene,
I am sorry that you are here seeking answers to all your questions. You have received some great advice from knowledgeable people. I can't add too much that hasn't already been mentioned but in your original post you asked about vitamins. Please check with your Doctors on this since some feel that vitamins can interfere with the treatments.
A lot of information will be headed your way, and it will seem like you are drinking from a Firehose. As mentioned above, take notes and have questions ready beforehand.
Another couple of tips, Motorcycleguy mentioned Eating, please make sure Michael takes in at least 64 ozs. of fluid daily. Dehydration and constipation can cause problems down the road during treatment. I used a stool softener every other day and had no problems in that department. You can also get some helpful information from the top of the Head and Neck Discussion Board in the first Thread (Superthread, Read Only)
I had Base of Tongue cancer in 2004 , part of my tongue removed along with a Radical Neck Disection. Then Melanoma on my left check which was removed with some reconstruction to balance my face in 2005. It sounds like Michael has a strong positive attitude.
My Best to You, Michael, Family and Everyone Here
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Well, Michaelene welcome to the forum.
First of all, calm down and relax and quit crying and quit running what if's through your mind. That just gets worse and multiplies on you. It appears you already have yourself convinced he will have mouth sores, feeding tubes, and lost teeth. None of this may happen, or it may but you need to deal with just facts. I know how you feel, we all do, when we get cancer we just want it gone, out of our lives so we can get back to living. It is now this thing we can't ignore and need to deal with it, it is what we all dread and it is not something that will go away it needs to be treated and eradicated. And it will be but the process is not quick it is more of a step-by-step diagnosis, doing the right tests, and prescribing the right treatment. It will be done and your husband will be cancer free but it is a process and I am sure he will get through it. Depending on the treatment it can be rough but all of us on here have gotten through it one day at a time and your husband and your family will too. You are right that a PET scan should be done next to be sure it is nowhere else in his body. Hopefully, it is localized in the H&N area which it most often is. As per my experience, and reading it rarely is in other places but not impossible. You are correct to be proactive and get him a dental appointment right away and cue the dentist as to what is going on and any tooth maintenance that needs to be done to be caught up so his teeth are in A1 condition. If for any reason there are any that need to be extracted it is important to do it now. You also mentioned the possibility of testing around his mouth area, do you have any specifics to share? If he has extra weight fine if not have him put some on just in case.
It is good you are planning to go to all his appointments with him as this can be stressful and they throw a lot at you and it is a lot to remember. So 2 sets of ears are better than one. I also recommend taking a notebook along to write things down and make notes and also if the doctor allows it record the meetings on your phone with voice or video so if something is forgotten or not clear you have that as a reference also. On Android phones, there is an app called just that Voice Recorder.
It is good you are preparing a support team for him with lots of people and support.
From what I am reading so far there may be only 1 lymph node affected and a biopsy has confirmed it. So what we really need is more information when the PET scan is done and the final analysis is in. Which will tell us whether it is in only 1 lymph node or if it is in more of them. Is this the area cancer started or where it was first noticed? I'm not going to get into a lot till you get the final report and the treatment plan they have devised for your husband.
Because until we have the facts and treatment plan it is all speculation which you have already been doing and worrying yourself sick.
Let me be Bold here and tell you he will not die. Cancer is not the death sentence it was 50 years ago although that idea still seems to exist. Cancer treatment has advanced greatly and there are many tools in the chest now with different forms of chemo and advanced anti-nausea chemo drugs. There are various ways to apply radiation accurately damaging less surrounding tissue including the latest called Proton therapy. And surgery has greatly advanced even using robotic surgery in some cases. I myself have had cancer 3 times and am a testament to modern medical treatments and God's Great Blessing of those treatments and his healing hand upon me.
The fact that he had a CT scan and they saw nothing else of interest is quite promising. If he only has cancer in a lymph node or nodes it is usually handled by surgery to remove cancerous lymph nodes and any suspect lymph nodes and many times followed up with radiation treatments and they may be moderate depending on the situation to clean up any errant cancer cells which are too small to be seen.
So when you get your final diagnosis of where the cancer is and the treatment plan least get back to us as we can give you more specifics then.
You seem to be a prolific reader so I will post a couple of links below that may help.
You are right prayer is powerful and I will put your family on my prayer list. Continue to trust on God and follow his leading in this situation and in your lives.
Wishing You the Best
Take care, God Bless-Russ
Diagnosis and treatment H&N cancer.
Some info from Johns Hopkins
Radiation info from Oncolink
A good one from cancer.net
MD Anderson-Newly diagnosed cancer patients, questions to ask your health care team
OK wish your family the best, I know I overloaded you here but just check a little at a time. I have more information and links when you get more specifics on your husband's diagnosis. Also, I try to only have reliable links with verified information from good sources.
And finally what we always say on here NEGU (Never Ever Give Up)
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Hi Michaelene,
My husband was diagnosed on June 14th and he is in his 6th week of radiation and gearing up for his 3rd round of chemo in a few days. Your post is so timely because even though I am deep into treatment, I was just researching how to support him through this next phase. Here's a few things that helped me: 1) I have one notebook that I use for all things related to his treatment. It contains notes and questions for and from doctors visits, nutrition tracking, insurance info, FMLA info, and notes on symptoms so that I can help him recall at doctors appointments. 2) The second opinion at Cleveland Clinic was extremely helpful!!!!! Don't be afraid to ask every question from your list. 3) I used post from this group to help figure out things that I may need to have on hand to prep for treatment, i.e. VHC Boost, humidifier, new blender, hydration multiplier, Biotene, etc. I found that directing my energy into the operational aspect helped me be less fearful and anxious. 4) I gave him space, but let him know I was there. 5) I provided updates to family and friends. It's taxing explaining things over and over again. I set up group text and provided updates & details based on who the group members were. 6) I tried to help him keep as normal routine as possible. It was important to him to continue working and for the most part I supported him in that. 7) I tried to end all my nagging sentences with "I love you". I figured it would be harder for him to be irritated by my nagging if I put a little sweetener on the end. 8) This group is so very helpful. Don't hesitate to reach out as you go through this journey.
Keep in mind that some days you will walk right beside him. Some days you will walk behind to push him forward. Some days you will walk in front to pull him. Just keep walking forward.
You will be fine!!
Best,
Tawanda
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Thank you VERY much for your reply. I appreciate you being straightforward with me and reminding me to calm down and breathe. This isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. I am definitely a reader and researcher. I want answers to everything and I plan. A lot.
Ill review the info you posted. I appreciate you sending along information that actually has some truth to it. Google did nothing but scare me!
I will post more once we have a complete dx and I would very much appreciate any insight, advice and guidance you can continue to provide.
Thank you again and God bless you!
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Yeah, it's not much fun. But more than likely his disease is HPV related and has a very high rate of successful treatment. Then if they are able to find the primary tumor (the lymph node is where it has spread...and if it's in only one or two and not ginormous that is another positive sign) you'll likely have some decision to make re: your treatment plan. The standard is chemo + radiation but the data suggests that for some people you can do surgery and radiation alone... And some others, a reduced course of radiation.
The best news is that you are at City of Hope which is an NCI Comprehensive Cancer Center...they will take great care of you and you'll get the right treatment the first time. You're team will focus on head and neck cancers...they are experts on it. That's a good thing.
But as others have said...it's a long journey. Some folks breeze through this (I feel like I was one of them)...and others really struggle. It will depend but many people are able to work all through their treatment (I only missed like 8-9 days to heal from my two surgeries, total...).
My wife did what wives do... She helped me with wound care and nagged me every time I got up to go do something ("sit down!"). Some days I flipped her the bird and laughed. Some days I sat back down and she took care of whatever I got up for cause I did really feel crappy. She made me mashed potatos and gravy for supper for like 2 weeks straight because it was all I wanted to eat and could swallow.
A few tips for him...drink tons of water. Always have a water bottle with you. A wet throat is a happy throat. I solidly believe my water intake was primarily why I feel like I made it through without much incident. Use the salt/baking soda rinse as much as possible. Eat solid foods as long as absolutely possible. Its like any muscle, if you don't use it, it will get stiff and make it that much harder to deal with after.
Anyway, good luck. He'll do great and so will you.
Brandon
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Sorry to hear about your situation. I'm 4 years out from right side tonsil cancer with one lymph node involvement. You will likely have many options but I would do my research and get at least 2 opinions. I got 3. Went with Proton radiation "only" therapy at Mayo Clinic. 6 weeks, 5 days per weeks. I'm in sales so, like your husband I talk for a living and needed to make sure I could continue. Proton Therapy was less invasive and my experience was very mild compared to many others on this board. kept my teeth, saliva and taste. (during treatment it fluctuated) Still get mild dry throat on my right side when I sleep but that's about it. Do your research and pick the best plan and then trust in your team. great advancements with treating this very treatable kind of cancer. Good luck and best wishes on your journey.
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Hi all - quick update - we had our first appointment at City of Hope yesterday and it is confirmed that he is P16+ so HPV is the culprit here. The doc noticed some questionable areas on the right back side of his mouth and potentially tonsils when reviewing the CT scan. I guess this is why you go to the experts and not rely on a GP for these things! She thinks base of tongue and maybe tonsils. Next we will meet with the ENT surgeon and get his opinion. PET scan is later this week but doc isn’t concerned about anything being “below the neck” but we will know soon enough.
All initial blood work looks normal too. I had my first sense of relief yesterday although I know we are not in the clear yet. I understand treatment of HPV has a higher success rate although the treatment itself is still pretty brutal.
We discussed doing radiation + chemo and only doing surgery afterwards if necessary. This could all change depending on what the ENT says. My husband does have a bit of tinnitus already so the doc may change around the chemo meds since the one she would typically use can cause some hearing damage. Once I have more details on the treatment plan, I will let everyone know. I’d really love some insight on the plan before we begin.
I appreciate the support and the continued prayers.
Michaelene
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Would you be able to tell me more about the Proton therapy you did instead of typical radiation? I’ve been digging into it a bit more and it seems like a much less invasive option, but I can’t tell if it has a less success rate? It doesn’t look like the hospital we are at offers Proton radiation therapy as an option and I’m a bit confused as to why. Any insight is appreciated!
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When it comes to proton therapy I would say it is the best way to go if they can use it in your case. Proton therapy loses little energy entering the body and the depth it travels and delivers its dose to the tumor is very effective. It delivers the dose to the tumor to kill cancer but they can set it to stop and not travel beyond the tumor thus sparing surrounding tissue and killing just the tumor. There may be some damage to surrounding tissue but if there is it is extremely reduced. With regular radiation, it can be regulated somewhat but it damages tissue around and beyond the tumor.
Proton therapy, also known as proton beam therapy, is a radiation treatment that precisely delivers a beam of protons to disrupt and destroy tumor cells. Compared with traditional radiation, protons have unique properties that allow doctors to better target radiation to the size and shape of the tumor.
Here is a link to a video that explains it.
Here is some reading as to what is best for you--
Also, the proton machines are very expensive and there are only so many of them in the united states, below is information detailing costs and the way they work and the benefits thereof, from "Oncology Nurse Advisor", I am putting the article contents in this post because the link will not post. and another link showing a map of the United States and the location of Proton Machines in operation and the ones being built. Penn Medicine near me within 20 minutes has put one in but it is not operational yet. I think it is to come online sometime in 2023. Too late for me but it will help others in the future, what a Blessing.
Cost vs Benefits: The Controversy Over Proton Beam Radiotherapy
Proton beam therapy systems are now available at more than 2 dozen sites across the United States — including, most recently, the Miami Cancer Institute’s new Proton Therapy Center (scheduled to be unveiled March 15, 2018). These facilities are very expensive. Depending on the number of rooms and other factors, these facilities can cost more than $225 million each and have been called the single most expensive medical device ever built.1 Perhaps not surprisingly, treatment costs exceed those of traditional photon external-beam radiotherapy (EBRT) modalities.1
Most proton beam facilities costs less, $20 million to $150 million for single- and multiroom facilities, according to Scott Warwick, executive director of the National Association of Proton Therapy.
But proton therapy’s allure is strong despite its costs. Imprecise radiation beam targeting, skin surface dose, and in-path irradiation of nontarget internal-organ tissue are the main causes of dose-limiting radiotherapy toxicities.2 The large mass of protons reduces beam broadening and scatter seen with photon EBRT modalities, and most proton beam energy is deposited in target tumor tissue without significant irradiation of nontarget tissue along the beam path behind the target volume.1,2
It stands to reason that proton therapy is most promising for tumors close to the body surface. Proton therapy’s dosimetric depth-precision (its sharp lateral penumbra and distal fall-off) have fueled interest in its use against ocular melanomas, tumors of the spine and skull-base, and childhood brain cancers — as well as its potential for reducing cardiovascular toxicity during breast tumor or esophageal tumor radiotherapy.3-5 Authors of a recent systematic review of 13 studies of proton therapy for breast cancer concluded that mean radiation doses to the heart and lungs were reduced with proton therapy compared with conventional photon EBRT modalities, including intensity-modulated radiotherapy (IMRT).4 However, large, well-designed comparative clinical studies are needed to confirm those potential clinical benefits, the authors cautioned.4
“There are many advantages of proton therapy,” said Minesh Mehta, MD, deputy director and chief of radiation oncology at Miami Cancer Institute. “Proton therapy delivers radiation with pinpoint accuracy, with little to no dose to tissues beyond the tumor, making treatment very effective and much gentler. Patients experience fewer side effects and in certain cases have less chance of recurrence due to the opportunity to deliver higher tumor dose. One of the many open questions patients have with regard to proton therapy is who is a good candidate for this type of treatment. Though every case differs, typically, the best candidates for proton therapy are children with various cancers, and adults with skull-based tumors, tumors in and around the spine, orbital and eye tumors, as well as cancers of the head and neck, esophagus, pancreas and hepatobiliary system, sarcomas, as well as those with left-sided breast cancer.”
Proton Therapy location map
Wishing You the Best
Take Care God Bless-Russ
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Michaelene,
So sorry for the circumstances of which we meet, however glad you are here, it’s a good place to be and visit, particularly when you need to get grounded. A lot of good people who will help you through your journey.
Reading your letter, I felt like I was reading my thoughts when I came to this group as my husbands caretaker back in the fall of 2012. He had stage 4 HPV positive left tonsil cancer, with three involved lymph nodes, 2 of which were in very poor shape. The good news, what we learned here made his journey a better one. I hope you find the same.
Being on the caretaking side, I might be able to help too, and will continue to follow along. I specifically remember the panic feeling, and helplessness, since I fix everything — this I could not fix. But I did listen and learn everything possible. I knew we could find the best help, no matter the obstacles, and I asked questions, looking ahead and circumventing what I could. It really did help him.
I have seen the advice already written to you, to take care of yourself first. So True. You are now the rock. How you react will show your family how to navigate this interruption. Take time for yourself, even if in moments, to allow yourself the freedom to talk to someone close, and support just you. Let people help — but in ways that you need the help. I had a friend that was a chef, she made small meals with his favorites, things I could heat in 10-20 mins during the treatments for my husband. He would think he wanted something and then it wouldn’t taste right and give up - she had the quick solutions for month. Turns out all we had to do was make bacon. At one point during his treatment, he ate up to 4 lbs of bacon in a day. This sounds strange today, but if it works, it’s temporary. You’ll find lots of temporary in your nearer future and it’s ok.
Another friend handled holidays, and kept us on track. With the treatment schedule and appts, we did not have the time. They were new traditions, but it was temporary. Neighbors shopped for us, so we didn’t have to expose him to germs I could bring home from the stores. When someone asks how can they help, let them know you are aren’t sure how right now but can you keep a them on the list to call when something arises you need help with. Don’t say no. This will be your sanity.
I also walked around for 3 months with the mantra in my mind that “this is not about me”. It helped me stay grounded and a rock. A lot of little things will work for you, more will not - but it’s temporary, Look for the good in every day - it helps. When it’s not a good moment, whisper ‘this is not about me’ [this is about what he needs], and go to plan b.
Be at every appt you can make… ask questions, no matter how difficult, the most important message I think I could show my husband was ‘you are not alone’- it gave him comfort. In the moments he wants to give up, be his encouragement to carry on. Get ready for the grumpy side, and a little ‘chemo brain’.. don’t take his reactions personally, they are temporary. And remember that one day soon, temporary will go away and you will see the medical sides waining from everyday life, and life will get to a normal, might include some new normals, but you will relax again. You can do this.. you’ll do things you didn’t think you were capable of, but it’s temporary, hold on tight, and we will be here to listen and send you good thoughts.
As a few very cherished people repeated to me in this group.. “I will tuck you in my pocket” and “whisper a little prayer” for you.
I wish for you a very easy journey,
Kari (& Dan)
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Michaelene
I am truly sorry both you and your husband have to go through this battle. But because it is HPV cancer it is not the end of the world. I too used my voice to make a living, I was Vice President of a local Teamsters union hall and made a decent living yelling at lawyers and employers. I had cancer at the base of my tongue and needed a full neck disection removing my epoglotis, part of the base of my tongue, and uvula. My voice changed a lot and isn't qite as strong as it once was point I could still get my point across.
All said above is great advise and I really can't add to it but I would like to stress that he should drink lots of fluids and even when he doesn't want to he should still eat. I lost 92 pounds throughout my battle but at the time weighing 297 it wasn't a big deal. You both will have good days and bad but battling this F...ing beast is a team effort. I am glad you have confidence in your doctors and don't be afraid to ask questions and as another has said above keep notes along with questions between visits. Tell your husband that Jeff said..."If I can do it anybody can"
But most importantly you both have to... StayPositiveStayStrong
Jeff
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Hi Kari-
Your message is extremely heartfelt and made me cry - not that it takes much these days. I very much appreciate your kind words, your encouragement and your advice. I promise to try to stay strong and make sure I set aside some time for myself. I am the “rock” now and it is going to be hard. There is no way around it.
I still keep thinking this is a bad dream or someone made a mistake. This can’t actually be happening to us, but it is. We can only plan so much before life throws you a giant **** show curve ball, right?!
If you don’t mind, I would like to reach out when treatment gets underway. I am prepared for what is to come, but I’m still very worried and appreciate the support.
thank you again!
Michaelene
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Michaelene,
You are more than welcome to reach out any time you need or just want too. We will all help to get you all through this :)
And sorry I made you cry, but good time to get tears out of the way :)
You are doing everything you should right now, know that it’s enough. Your love for your husband is admirable.
Welcome to our little club,
Kari
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