Stage 4 Gallbladder cancer. Please help!

This year's february was the worst month in my entire 20 years of life. My mother had jaundice and on inspection she was diagnosed with stage 4 gallbladder cancer which had metastatised to gallbladder segment 4a,4b and some other parts of liver, largest measuring 12mm but the primary tumor itself is 8.3 cm. Lymph nodes around the diaphragm and ower lung lobes are active with 13mm being the largest lymph node noted near 2nd part of lower deudenum.

It is having a HER2(3+) overexpression and is being treated with cisplatin(40mg), gemicitabine(1600mg) and trastuzumab(390mg) but recent CA19-9 level has increased from 1982 to 12650.

My mother is only 45 years of age without any health issues(sugar, high bp, thyroid etc). I have been crying ever since she was diagnosed with this cancer.

Senior surgeons have told they cannot remove it all as the cancer is widespread and the chemo+immunotherapy seems to have increase the CA19-9 levels indicating failure of 1st line of chemotherapy.

I am still in tears writing this. I have been working hard to see my mother happy and experience rich life as she belonged to a lower middle class family. She had been working her **** off to make my life better and here I am not giving anything back. I cannot repay her even if I pay her with my life.

I feel like suiciding is the only option. My world is being destroyed and I can't face it.

She is having PET and CT scans tomorrow. Let's see what happens.

Oncologists clearly explained me that she has only 2-3 months with palliative chemo but I can't accept it. I'm still searching for solutions online and waiting for miracles to happen. She is a big believer in god and I myself am a huge believer in god but after experiencing all of this, all I can do is blame god.