Tears come too easy

Definitely threw me over the edge several times as I'm normally an emotional person anyway.  Going through treatment was an emotional toll on me, plus being in pain from the radiation made it worse.  A lot of people go through an emotional rollercoaster.  Tape some of your programs, like Tru said.  BTW 911 is one of my favorite shows.

Kim

I remember wanting  to cry and knowing it would hurt like crazy during Folfox--seemed very cruel indeed.  I always cry at the clips of soldiers coming home and surprising their kiddos.

As a guy with some macho tendencies, it pains me to say that after following this long path, I can well up at old songs, old movies, or just a sudden memory while driving in traffic. It could just be getting older too, but I recall things like wanting to watch "Breaking Bad" or "The Bucket List", but putting them off for years, because I really didn't want to deal with stories involving cancer, early in my own fight. Even now, though I don't feel so fragile anymore, it happens regularly enough, and I cover it so well, you probably wouldn't notice unless you were really focusing on me, but it's there, I'm definitely not the stoic I thought I was, and that's okay. Strong feelings about happy stuff balance out the melancholy moments, which aren't bad either. It all feels like having some passion versus just getting through stuff with a minimum of emotion, a state I can retreat to, but don't really want to live in.....................................................Dave

beaumontdave said:

As a guy with some macho

As a guy with some macho tendencies, it pains me to say that after following this long path, I can well up at old songs, old movies, or just a sudden memory while driving in traffic. It could just be getting older too, but I recall things like wanting to watch "Breaking Bad" or "The Bucket List", but putting them off for years, because I really didn't want to deal with stories involving cancer, early in my own fight. Even now, though I don't feel so fragile anymore, it happens regularly enough, and I cover it so well, you probably wouldn't notice unless you were really focusing on me, but it's there, I'm definitely not the stoic I thought I was, and that's okay. Strong feelings about happy stuff balance out the melancholy moments, which aren't bad either. It all feels like having some passion versus just getting through stuff with a minimum of emotion, a state I can retreat to, but don't really want to live in.....................................................Dave

same thing Dave- I think the stresses of Cancer, chemo- radiation and the assault on our bodies from it all tend to muck witrh Seratonin levels- which will cause emotional changes- My doc put me on low dose elavil, or one of those type anti-depressants- I was put on it not for depression or anxiety, but because i had issues with continence after my surgery, and that stuff was suppsoed to help with the issue- which it did, and i noticed it also helped me not be so emotional over stupid stuff that normally wouldn't ever have bothered me-

I also think facign death possibility has an effect on emotional well being- i don't know how, perhaps it too slightly alters eratonin levels or soemthing- as facing death possibility is a kinda high stress issue, even if we don'[t think it is- so yeah, i can relate- you aint alone in that- maybe it's the chemo alone- who knows- but goign htrough it definately has side effects like emotions for some- oh well- if soemone asks "Are yo crying?" I say "No of course not, don't be silly, i just caught a wiff of my own brerath and it brought tears to my eyes, that's all"

LSU2001 said:

Crying easy

I have always been a pretty rugged country boy that was taught that men don't cry, we are stoic and here for other emotional people to lean on.  With that crap said, I would like to admit that since my treatments started, I can cry at the drop of a hat or for seeminly no reason at all.  I don't know what caused the change but it was a drastic change.  I went from bottling up almost all my emotion to be "strong" for others and then almost overnight I became an emotional basket case.  I guess I first noticed it being crazy when returning from houston for my 3 month MDA checkup, I heard the Tim Mcgraw song Live like you were Dying and ended up having to pull over on the side of the interstate until I coiuld get contol of my bawling.  Hasn't been that bad since then but I certainly am way more prone to emotional outburst than at any other time in my life. 

Tim

To me there is nothing wrong with a man crying.  It shows a sensitive side to a man when he does and that he can relate and have empathy for others.  Don't ever be shy about crying, it shows that you are compassionate and caring.

Kim