Newly diagnosed and unable to cope

manapart said:

no

as ive said im completely alone. Just a elderly mother who lives a few blocks away

Manapart, I'm sending you a PM with some information so you can contact me. Reading your posts is excrutiating. I don't know if I can help but if you want someone to talk to, I'm here.

I was diagnosed just over 5 years ago. I've been through two surgeries, radiation, several different chemos, and some other unpleasant or embarassing test and procedures. Not to mention side effects that very few people get, certainly they don't get more than one. I'm a big baby and have had to find ways to cope mentally. That being said, I don't suffer from the mental and emotional issues you have. 

In my opinion, any doctor that doesn't try to give you some hope is doing you a disservice. This is one of the better cancers to get, if that can be qualified, so they say. You do have a fighting chance, particularly with surgery, and you will fight this. I read something about cancer in your pancreas? Do you have that as well? If you do, is it also colon cancer that's spread? Or pancreatic cancer? It makes a big difference.

The mindfullnes suggested by Sandriabuddy (I think it was) is an excellent thing to learn to do. It may help you in everyday life as well. It kind of sounds to me like you've been let down by life already. This is just another hurdle, not necessarily the end of the road. The stats on Google are so off and often so wrong and the people who do well and survive usually don't post about it because they don't want to dwell on it, they just move on. The horror stories are the ones that get posted on Google. You can do this. We all have and we're not superheroes. But when you start to get better you do feel like one!

Anyway, watch for a message from me. I'm far away in Canada but nobody should ever feel alone and I won't have you feel that way if I can help it.

Hugs,

Jan

manapart said:

thank you jan

i sent you a reply

Hi, jsut read your anguished posts, did you get your answers, after the colonoscopy? Depending on where the growth is placed, it could easily be operable, even if it's stage III. Which is what happenend to me, and i'm perfectly fine after more than two years. Hang on and wait for the final diagnostic. As to the side-effects of chemo, they vary widely between people. Mine were minor, really. My wife thinks i'm a hero...don't tell her!

Manapart, I am located about 2 hours south of you in Cleveland, MS.  What doctor and clinic are you going to? I see an oncologist with The West Clinic in Southaven, MS.

I was originally diagnosed at age 39 in 2006.  After six months of chemo, the cancer returned in 2013 as Stage 4.  After another year and a half of chemo, the cancer returned in 2017 and I just finished chemo for that episode last September.  I am saying all that to say that a Stage 4 diagnosis is not necessarily an immediate death sentence.  A lot of people (even on this site) have lived successfully with Stage 4 cancer for a long time.

I would advise you not to pay attention to how someone else handled chemo, or what side effects they had with certain chemicals because everyone is different.  I know some on this site that tolerated certain chemicals with no problems while the same chemical terrorized me.  I also know certain chemicals that I managed fine and others here did not.  Treatment is a personal thing tailored specifically to you.  If you experience problems with treatment, make sure to tell your doctor and they can make some accomodations to help with that.

I pray that you will find peace and comfort for your struggle.  "This is my command - be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.' Joshua 1:9

manapart said:

info

I live in Memphis TN, which has very strict laws on mediaid and other finacial means for treatment. Im honestly not sure what I would be willing to do even if I could afford it. Surgery and radiation would be fine but chemo i would need time to think about. My anxiety disorder makes everything worse. I have withdrawn from everyone. Im just emotionally paralyzed. Maybe itll wear off in a couple weeks, maybe itll get worse. I want so badly to apply what you are encouraging, that even if i only had days left to enjoy them, but at this moment i find it impossible cos of how much fear and panic im experiencing. How do you find peace knowing the gift of life is being ripped away. 

Hi there! You must have watched the same movies I did. New and improved chemo treatment is here. I get pills for nausea right before

my chemo starts. I have a bottle of two kinds of nausea pills just in case it ever hits. I have never thrown up. The chemo for the most

part makes you super tired. There are other side affects that are completely tolerable. I hope you give it a shot, anyway.

Oh I remember the early days. The very first thing in my mind when I woke up (if I could even sleep) was I Have Cancer. It is pretty

impossible to get it out of your head. Then one day you say to yourself, Hey, I didn't think about it for a whole hour! Doctors nowadays

don't want you in pain or feel bd in any way so tell them. They've got a pill for everything! Let us know how it goes.