Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater

I often ask myself if hanging around the forum is good or bad?  If I were a stage 1 like Peter, I think I would sign off unless my condition worsened.  Personally, I think hanging around is good for me.  It helps me to see what other people are thinking, to occassionally pick up tips and perspectives that are helpful, and hopefully, on rare occassions, to offer help to others.  So whether Peter is still here or has moved on, I wish him the best.

Pete is great. I wish I were stage 1..... I would promptly dissapear and make cancer a history. Butt.

We should all Hope for the best!!  I was stage2/3 at age 77.  Soon to be 87,I've been NED for ten years.  It was a bumpy ride, but it can be beat!!   Hope for the best, and don't be afraid.

Trubrit said:

when I first joined

The forum was really hot and moving fast with many, many members. There were posts filled with great info, some contentious posts, with strong willed charachters butting heads. Members getting banned and worse still members passing away by the week.  

The forum has slowed down, and so have the deaths, or at least the deaths we are notified about.  

Many, many members found it very hard to stay with the forum when their friends were passing away. I wish they would come back, with all of their wisdom and knowledge. 

And of course, many who are NED WANT to leave the forum, as Butt said, leave it all behind like a bad dream. And there are some of us who WANT to stay and it is good both ways.  

I have several Facebook friends who are NED and no longer post to the forum. It warms my heart to see them posting on FB about their wonderful lives. 

Still, I like it when our NED friends pop back and hit off a 'I'm loving life' post 

Tru

It seems like the computer crash has also hurt forum participation.  I thought CSN would give a little more explanation, but none has been forthcoming.  I am sure it is frustrating to recent members (Peter included) to lose the posts they have worked on so hard.  I have been trying to post a little more to fill the vacuum.  Hopefully things will return to "normal" soon.

beaumontdave said:

This place is damn handy when

This place is damn handy when you need it, for many reasons, but it can be frustrating and painful too, so I get people stepping back or moving on past a regular presence. The first thing most folks are looking for is hope, and a place to express their fears and concerns. I've noted that certain cancer blogs have little activity, even allowing for frequency of occurance,  like "brain cancer" or pancreatic cancer", and I assume it's because hope is much harder to find with some cancers. We have a wide spectrum of results here. I told myself early on that if I had an ultimately good set of results, I'd stick around to share that, but while we cheer each others milestones and good reports, sometimes it feels like repeating the same story is my celebrating in the face of other's misery. I know it isn't usually taken that way, but it's easy enough for me to have survivor guilt just on my wife's story alone. The information brought here is great, and I read every bit of studies and technical info. that shows up. I know in my heart that soon the breakthroughs are coming that will render this stuff into chronic conditions, and all who come here will have real hope and certainty, but until then it hurts to read of disease progression and what it's doing to people who's stories I know, who's pain and fears were mine too, at certain times. Staying connected is a meanful thing for me, but it does have it's price to pay, reading of brave, regular folks in pain, filled with fear that I can do little about, other then say, "Hey, I made it to this point, implying that they can too, when it's all so "up in the air" as to who catches a break and who just keeps fighting..............................................Dave

Dave, I find the stories of survival inspirational. Please keep posting them, it gives hope to those who are facing challenges.  In truth, the setbacks people post are heartbreaking, but they are also a reminder of the mortality all of us face so concretely.  Having a community that understands is invaluable to me.

SandiaBuddy said:

Is hanging around the forum good or bad?

I often ask myself if hanging around the forum is good or bad?  If I were a stage 1 like Peter, I think I would sign off unless my condition worsened.  Personally, I think hanging around is good for me.  It helps me to see what other people are thinking, to occassionally pick up tips and perspectives that are helpful, and hopefully, on rare occassions, to offer help to others.  So whether Peter is still here or has moved on, I wish him the best.

I'm just hanging around just to see if I'm able to help others.  Sure there are times I've left the board, at one time for 1 1/2 years, only checking in ocassionally.  It was a time my husband was diagnosed with kidney cancer and just months before that my 52 year old brother was diagnosed with terminal cancer.  This board just seemed too much for me so leaving was best as my heart was elsewhere.  But after my brother died and my husband recovered my mind kept coming back here to see if there was someone else that might need my experience or just a kind word.  So I'm still here - just hanging around .

Kim

Peter,

My heart aches for you, I know how devastating it is to lose a beloved companion, but I know he was cared for and loved by the two of you. We lost our two older cats this year to kidney failure and we dread the day that we lose our dog, Lucy.

I'm glad to hear that you are generally doing well healthwise and I hope your internal neuropathy isn't causing serious problems and they can find a way around the problem. I understand wanting to take a break from doctors. As one of the nurses told me that I will most likely be "sick and tired of being sick and tired". Guess what, she was right. I am more fortunate than many on this board because I have been NED for a couple of years now, but the after effects of treatment have definitely taken their toll. I am also getting "scares". I have lumps in my thyroid that are most likely benign (they have been biopsied and that was something I hope no one here has to experience) but are yet another thing that needs to be checked on periodically.

Also happy to see your post,

Ellen

ellend said:

Sorry to hear about Harley

Peter,

My heart aches for you, I know how devastating it is to lose a beloved companion, but I know he was cared for and loved by the two of you. We lost our two older cats this year to kidney failure and we dread the day that we lose our dog, Lucy.

I'm glad to hear that you are generally doing well healthwise and I hope your internal neuropathy isn't causing serious problems and they can find a way around the problem. I understand wanting to take a break from doctors. As one of the nurses told me that I will most likely be "sick and tired of being sick and tired". Guess what, she was right. I am more fortunate than many on this board because I have been NED for a couple of years now, but the after effects of treatment have definitely taken their toll. I am also getting "scares". I have lumps in my thyroid that are most likely benign (they have been biopsied and that was something I hope no one here has to experience) but are yet another thing that needs to be checked on periodically.

Also happy to see your post,

Ellen

 

Thank you so much, I don't know why but for some reason I thought I would handle it better but I find myself broken and mourning him terribly, I believe that when you love deeply your brain doesn't care if the loss is human, canine or feline you just move through the day and wait out the nights until that pain isn't as raw or sharp. I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your cats, and am glad to know that Lucy is still with you - and I know that feeling of dread I truely do but I would say that the aftermath is unavoidable and it's the price - the price we pay for all we get in return, I hope you'll give her a giant hug aand kiss for me.

I would tell you not to worry about the bumps so, don't worry about the bumps just do as the Dr says and keep an eye on them - without even saying a word it sounds like an awful torture you had to endure but as long as these things keep you NED I'm thankful and happy for you - Peter

Lovekitties said:

Sweet Harley

So very sorry to hear of your loss.  Our furry friends are such an intricate part of our lives.  They return the love given them 100 fold.  They know when we need an extra amount of love and support.  I have had a number of these extended family members, both canine and feline, and each continues to hold a special place in my heart for all they gave to my life.

The tribute you posted is grand and lets those of us who never had a chance to met him, know the Harley you love.

May the tears you shed for him be replaced with a measure of happiness as you remember his time with you.

Hugs,

Marie who loves kitties ( and doggies too)

 

Thank you so much for the kind words and for taking the time to read Harley's memorial, it was one the most  profound relationships of my life. He was an angel in a doggie suit he just didn't think I knew. All our beloved pets are and the ocean of grief we feel at their passing is a small admission fee for all we get in return. Like you I have a long list - too long, but they live in our hearts and I suppose that's how it should be.

Edward Albee wrote a beautiful poem "Samantha" about this very thing do you know it? If not or if you would like to read it again here's a link, and thanks again Marie, very much. Peter 

 http://aftertherainbowsend.com/post/17274511546/samantha-by-edward-albee

I am so sorry about Harley, you think you will do better than you actually do. Trust me I know, I thought I would be ok my Max died in June. Wrong, I cry all the time, in pet stores, in the house, I can’t even say his name. He is the fourth dog have lost, each one of them takes  a piece of you when they go. Right now we are in puppy hell with our now 10 week old golden retriever Abby. I apparently like chaos since we got a boy lab mix in September. It’s crazy i Know!