I miss my old life

smore09
smore09 Member Posts: 2

Hi,

I'm new to this and I really need to know if anyone has figured out how to be ok with your new/after cancer life.  I was diagnosed at 45 with stage 3C ovarian cancer.  Surgery, chemo and we thought I was in the clear.  Six months later it was back.  More chemo, clears up and back in 6 months.  I have had 3 rounds of chemo and been on Zejula for the last 6 months.  I'm pretty sure its back.  I see doctor in 2 weeks.  This is the thing though.  How do you get out and have a normal life when you are back in treatment 6 months of every year?  I want to go back to work.  I want to wake up in the morning and feel good.  I used to exercise everyday. Now I'm fat, I hate it!  I don't have the energy to walk around the mall.  I try.  Everytime after chemo I work on losing the weight, getting stronger, but I don't get anywhere.  It makes me so mad!  How do I have a life?  I'm really lonely.  I'm home all day while everyone goes to work.  The only friends I have also have cancer and they are busy fighting their own battles.  I should mention that I moved to a new state 2 years ago.  I have friends, they just aren't close. 

Any suggestions? 

Thanks

 

Comments

  • Nicm
    Nicm Member Posts: 32 Member
    Do you have family that you

    Do you have family that you are close to? Is there any one in your life you’d consider a support network? If not, maybe counseling or therapy might help talk through some of these issues to find solutions that fit with your new life?? Best of luck! my mom is fighting her battle for the second time and i habe the cancer gene so statistically at some point I’ll be fighting this cancer battle too! 

  • smore09
    smore09 Member Posts: 2
    Nicm said:

    Do you have family that you

    Do you have family that you are close to? Is there any one in your life you’d consider a support network? If not, maybe counseling or therapy might help talk through some of these issues to find solutions that fit with your new life?? Best of luck! my mom is fighting her battle for the second time and i habe the cancer gene so statistically at some point I’ll be fighting this cancer battle too! 

    Thank you

    Thank you for your ideas.  Unfortunately my family and closest friends are not in the same state.  I do talk with them from time to time.  I try not to dump all my emotional upheaval on them.  I have been seeing a couselor, but I don't really think its helping.  Good luck to you and your mom.

  • dsaynor@msn.com
    dsaynor@msn.com Member Posts: 2
    Missing my old life too - but..making a new one..

    Sorry to hear about your multiple rounds of treatment...I was diagnosed a year and a half ago with stage2 Ovarian and Uterine cancer, at 54....thru treatment, I had hardly any side affects, it wasent until  my last treatment, that I really felt the effects...I too miss my old self and still  trying to understand this new life...its taken a year for the numbness in my hands and feet to go away, now I deal with being achy and trying to stay active - I too am heavier now than before....keep staying strong and you are not alone...

  • Bea_D
    Bea_D Member Posts: 5
    edited July 2018 #5
    Part-time job, maybe?

    I'm sorry to hear of your struggles, I'm 56 years old, diagnosed on 09/2016 with Stage 1c Ovarian Cancer. Radical hysterectomy, chemo, cancer free a year and 7 months.  You  aren't able to work?  I had no choice but to return to work right after the operation, I worked though my chemo.  I had just found this great job and 2 1/2 months in it's "Hey I love it here, but I have cancer".  I felt I needed to push myself, so they would see my usefulness and wouldn't replace me, and I often think that it's what saved my sanity, having something to do and concetrate on that had nothing to do with CANCER.  I know your cancer is re-occuring, I can't imagine what that does to your psychy, but physically could you get a part time job?  Just a few hours a week, something you enjoy, that might get you out into the world, with new people, out of your 4 walls?  Or maybe vounteer somewhere? 

  • NoTimeForCancer
    NoTimeForCancer Member Posts: 3,506 Member
    smore09, I am sorry to hear

    smore09, I am sorry to hear what you are going through. It sucks.  I have no idea what anyone's life is, so I hope you don't mind me asking you some questions?  It is hard since you moved to a new state, but do you have a church?  Maybe you can find one and work with them.  There are always good people that want to help and, for some, prayers are very comforting to some people.  I have found that prayers were always appreciated no matter what.

    I would talk to the counselor about how/why you don't think it is helping.  I bet they want to try to help you find out how to help - I would hope so - but you have to talk them.

    You, my dear, are in my prayers.  

     

  • WarriorS1
    WarriorS1 Member Posts: 49 Member
    Smore09 Old Life

    Hi, sorry to hear you are you are going through this. It is a terrible thing.  Glad you are getting counseling.  

    Try and be active -I know it is not easy but it really does help.  Even if all you do is go for a short walk every day. Yoga was really helpful for me.  There are a lot of UTube videos or see if you can check out a yoga DVD from your local library.  Not an exercise person myself, but know that it is very important for maintaining body and mind so I put exercise on my to do list every day.

    None of my friends or family are close either.  I have a site on MyLifeline.org so that I can communicate with everyone. I found that it really helps to keep everyone informed and it is good for me knowing that they read and comment. (Just a thought).  

    Do you have a local church you can reach out to? Have you tried meditation?  I think the app called “Calm” is supposed to be pretty good.

    Do you have hobbies such as needle work, painting, etc?  Something to keep your mind and hands busy?  That may help some even if you only do them for a short period of time.

    I know the weight can be trying, having had weigh issues my entire life, even before cancer. Have you tried modifying your diet to cut back on carbs and sugars?  I found that it helped me especially when I was taking 2 different steroids during my treatment.  Drinking a lot of water (a gallon a day) was also helpful as I did not nibble as much.  Just some things I found helpful and although I did not lose any weight, I was able to maintain.

    Do you have a Gilda’s Club or local/state ovarian cancer society, both can be a good resource to find other’s in your area that are also battling this terrible disease.

    I will add you to my prayers.  Sending you a virtual smile and hug!