My dad has throat cancer. What to do?

I'm very sorry to hear about your father.  For right now, wait until the tumor is actually tested.  That is how they determine if it is HPV.  HPV is very cureable.  Mu husbamd's tumor was also very large (larger than a golf ball) and they could not see his vocal cords.  For us, it wasn't until after a PET/CT that we were told if it was in the lymph nodes - although they suspected it was.  They did not remove the turmoil surgically as the location, and size, made it too risky.  He had 35 weeks of radiation and 7 weeks of low dose chemotherapy.  Some on here have 3 high doses.  

I know nothing about insurance as I am retired military so our insurance is different.  However, if you have almost met your deductible, it seems the majority of treatment will be covered, Right?

This is a big life event.  please make sure someone goes with your father to appointments and takes notes.  It is very easy to mishear what is being said just because of the shock.  If you have notes, you can easily reference them later to refresh your memory.  

Also, come back to this message board when you have questions or concerns.  There are many very supportive folks who have gone through this.

Best of luck,

Melissa

It super sucks to be in this situation for sure...  But as others have said, you gotta just chill a bit and take a breath.  Since your dad isn't a smoker or drinker then yeah, it's probably HPV related (which is good because yes, it is very curable) but you won't know for sure until they test it and do some scans and stuff.

Staging will depend on a lot of factors, but if it's HPV related and hasn't gone to any lymph nodes there is a good chance it's stage I or II...so yeah, you should keep thinking positively for that scenario.

Insurance is a pain but definitely important.  If you've already almost met your 10K deductible then you should be in good shape.  But it sounds like you have an issue with a physician who isn't very good or something.  If your plan is really tight it may only cover certain providers or something and it sounds like you might have an issue there.  But without more information it's hard to say.  You definitely want to be at a center where they have expertise in this area.  As others have said, most hospitals have financial counselors who can help you all through that aspect of it.

Finally, I agree with others that what I see here is a kid who is concerned about his dad and his family...so kudos to you.  My oldest was 11 when I was treated for this....old enough to be nervous for me and to know that the situation was serious.  What I found helpful was him just being as normal as possible.  We love playing video games together...so we did that.  We went to movies.  We went to baseball practice.  He kept my mind off of it.  And when I was too tired to do that, he understood.  Just be there to help and support.

Take it one step at a time...  Its a long road and your mom and dad will need you to help along the way.

Let me comment on the financial question. I was diagnosed early last summer with stage 3 throat cancer (base of my tongue with neck node involvement). Being fairly young(ish) at 47, in excellent health and self-employed, I too had health insurance with a high deductible - $10,000, like your dad. Since I never met my deductible, it automatically lowered each year and was maybe around $4,000 when treatment began.

First and foremost, none of my out of pocket balance was aggressively pursued by my cancer center (no calls, no collections, just paper invoices). We let the bills accumulate and then called to see what could be worked out (basically at the end of treatment). With just a phone call and no proof of income, etc. they cut my out of pocket in half if I would pay that balance within 20 days. That's the option we took. They also offered extremely low payment plans with no interest, but you had to pay more of the original balance.

Regardless, my out of pocket for the entirety of the treatment was only about $6,000 (medical bills and things I had to purchase). Hardly something even close to thinking of selling anything, let alone our house.

My treatment consisted of 35 radiations and 3 mega doses of chemo. I did not do a feeding tube, nor a chemo port. I also fired my first set of docs that wanted to do neck dissection and tongue surgery. So, no surgeries for me.

That $6,000 was until the end of treatment. Then there is post treatment care - which happened after my deductible renewed back to $10,000. This is where I really took charge of things. I moved all my imaging (PET and CT Scans) to a 3rd party provider (Vantage in OKC). Their CT scans are only $230, where the cancer center charged $2,000 and wants to do them every few months. I also canceled any and all doctor appointments with anyone other than my oncologist at the cancer center (I also would see my ENT or PCF, but they are only a $35 co-pay). They wanted me to continue followups with my chemo and radiation and nutrition docs. That is crazy. I haven't had any of those treatments for months. All I usually met with was a PA and they just asked how I felt. Just an excuse to hit me or my insurance with another $500+ bill. Because of my frugalness, my insurance is actually covering some of these new bills even though my $10,000 deductible started over in January.

My health was back to 100% only 3 months post treatment. My only symptom is about 50% loss of saliva to the back of my throat.

So, unless there is something about your dad's diagnosis I am missing, don't think financial disaster!

Focus on the treatmernt plan...... It sucks! He will need you there (even when he begs you to go away and leave him alone).