My dad has throat cancer. What to do?

xBurningBrightly

So today my dad finally went to the doctor after nearly a year of my mom pestering him. He has been coughing when he eats food, and people who hadn't spoken to him in a while said that his voice sounds different. The doctor looked at him and said he has throat cancer. He wasn't even able to see his vocal chords (I believe it was) because the tumor is so large. The doctor also felt his lymph nodes and said they seemed normal. This means he probably has stage 1 or 2, right? Or could it be stage 4 and it just skipped the lymph nodes? 
He'll be having a cat scan done tomorrow and is meeting with more doctors on Wednesday. My other question is insurance and payments. When I came home from classes today my mom was mentioning that we might have to sell the house and move, or maybe we'll end up having to declare bankruptcy and ect. She makes it sound like we're going to be struggling a lot. We do have insurance with a $10,000 deductible (which we have almost met because I was in a car accident back in February). We have until April 20th to switch our insurance because the provider made mistakes for a few people... Should we do that, and what's recommended? 
Also, my dad said that the doctor said it's HPV, or probably HPV. I read on another thread that there's a 90% or so cure rate. Will my dad end up losing his vocal chords or anything? His job is mainly on the phone, so yeah... Also, he's never smoked or drank alcohol.
Any info is very much appreciated.

swopoe

Slow down for a minute. I

Slow down for a minute. I know you are all scared. Get the scan and the diagnosis. There is no way to know it is cancer until then. Also, you can’t Know if it is HPV until the tumor is tested. As for insurance, wait and see. We had a $1500 deductible. We paid that and everything else was covered, no financial hit for us whatsoever. Look into your coverage and see what you have. But get the scan first and then go from there. So many people on here have been through treatment and come out ok on the other side, my husband included. Hope your dad does too. Hang in there for now!

pmsakom

For Now Just Breathe

I'm very sorry to hear about your father.  For right now, wait until the tumor is actually tested.  That is how they determine if it is HPV.  HPV is very cureable.  Mu husbamd's tumor was also very large (larger than a golf ball) and they could not see his vocal cords.  For us, it wasn't until after a PET/CT that we were told if it was in the lymph nodes - although they suspected it was.  They did not remove the turmoil surgically as the location, and size, made it too risky.  He had 35 weeks of radiation and 7 weeks of low dose chemotherapy.  Some on here have 3 high doses.  

I know nothing about insurance as I am retired military so our insurance is different.  However, if you have almost met your deductible, it seems the majority of treatment will be covered, Right?

This is a big life event.  please make sure someone goes with your father to appointments and takes notes.  It is very easy to mishear what is being said just because of the shock.  If you have notes, you can easily reference them later to refresh your memory.  

Also, come back to this message board when you have questions or concerns.  There are many very supportive folks who have gone through this.

Best of luck,

Melissa

 

caregiver wife

What to do?

Breathe, get the diagnosis and treatment options, ask the doctor or hospital for help with insurance information and help paying copays.  There is often financial assistance, depending on treatment options.  Many facilities have persons assigned just to help with such matters.

Your parents are already ahead of the game with such a pro-active child.  

Best wishes to your family,

Crystal

johnsonbl

Sucks...

It super sucks to be in this situation for sure...  But as others have said, you gotta just chill a bit and take a breath.  Since your dad isn't a smoker or drinker then yeah, it's probably HPV related (which is good because yes, it is very curable) but you won't know for sure until they test it and do some scans and stuff.

Staging will depend on a lot of factors, but if it's HPV related and hasn't gone to any lymph nodes there is a good chance it's stage I or II...so yeah, you should keep thinking positively for that scenario.

Insurance is a pain but definitely important.  If you've already almost met your 10K deductible then you should be in good shape.  But it sounds like you have an issue with a physician who isn't very good or something.  If your plan is really tight it may only cover certain providers or something and it sounds like you might have an issue there.  But without more information it's hard to say.  You definitely want to be at a center where they have expertise in this area.  As others have said, most hospitals have financial counselors who can help you all through that aspect of it.

Finally, I agree with others that what I see here is a kid who is concerned about his dad and his family...so kudos to you.  My oldest was 11 when I was treated for this....old enough to be nervous for me and to know that the situation was serious.  What I found helpful was him just being as normal as possible.  We love playing video games together...so we did that.  We went to movies.  We went to baseball practice.  He kept my mind off of it.  And when I was too tired to do that, he understood.  Just be there to help and support.

Take it one step at a time...  Its a long road and your mom and dad will need you to help along the way.

Jtoon

Have the same

Hi son of John. I am stage 3 larygeal cancer. I have completed treatments over 3 months ago. It was a hard road but he can do it! I have my first pet scan scheduled for the end of this month hopefully all is clear.Mine was only on one side of larynx with no spread . If you have any questions hit me up with them and I will try to help.Good luck and Iwill say a prayer for your dad.

OKCnative

Let me comment on the

Let me comment on the financial question. I was diagnosed early last summer with stage 3 throat cancer (base of my tongue with neck node involvement). Being fairly young(ish) at 47, in excellent health and self-employed, I too had health insurance with a high deductible - $10,000, like your dad. Since I never met my deductible, it automatically lowered each year and was maybe around $4,000 when treatment began.

First and foremost, none of my out of pocket balance was aggressively pursued by my cancer center (no calls, no collections, just paper invoices). We let the bills accumulate and then called to see what could be worked out (basically at the end of treatment). With just a phone call and no proof of income, etc. they cut my out of pocket in half if I would pay that balance within 20 days. That's the option we took. They also offered extremely low payment plans with no interest, but you had to pay more of the original balance.

Regardless, my out of pocket for the entirety of the treatment was only about $6,000 (medical bills and things I had to purchase). Hardly something even close to thinking of selling anything, let alone our house.

My treatment consisted of 35 radiations and 3 mega doses of chemo. I did not do a feeding tube, nor a chemo port. I also fired my first set of docs that wanted to do neck dissection and tongue surgery. So, no surgeries for me.

That $6,000 was until the end of treatment. Then there is post treatment care - which happened after my deductible renewed back to $10,000. This is where I really took charge of things. I moved all my imaging (PET and CT Scans) to a 3rd party provider (Vantage in OKC). Their CT scans are only $230, where the cancer center charged $2,000 and wants to do them every few months. I also canceled any and all doctor appointments with anyone other than my oncologist at the cancer center (I also would see my ENT or PCF, but they are only a $35 co-pay). They wanted me to continue followups with my chemo and radiation and nutrition docs. That is crazy. I haven't had any of those treatments for months. All I usually met with was a PA and they just asked how I felt. Just an excuse to hit me or my insurance with another $500+ bill. Because of my frugalness, my insurance is actually covering some of these new bills even though my $10,000 deductible started over in January.

My health was back to 100% only 3 months post treatment. My only symptom is about 50% loss of saliva to the back of my throat.

So, unless there is something about your dad's diagnosis I am missing, don't think financial disaster!

Focus on the treatmernt plan...... It sucks! He will need you there (even when he begs you to go away and leave him alone).