Hard to shake the feeling

Make sure your mask has eyes opened and mouth refuse to do it until they fix the mask,. When you get the treatment you feel nothing. 4-5 minute scan and then you come back out for 4 minutes or so and go back in for 3 minutes rad. It's over pretty quick. They key is the mask, for me anyways. I did my second chemo and outside a little constipation nothing major. So far this carbo/taxo seems good.   

I didnt do peg so i know im going to have to force myself. I didn't do a port and she only missed a vein one time.. Rad treatment now i like lol I flirt with all the young female techinicians. 

Something us old guys have a tendency to do. 

Does your treatment center have a support group.. look into this it may help... I have 27 years sobriety so I do the whole AA thing.. It taught me to keep one day at a time.. 

Serenity prayer has always done well for me.

Keep posting here. We are all in this together

Suez39,

This cancer news is hard for (almost) anybody to digest.  Even today, I still cannot believe I had cancer, but EVERYTHING points to “I did”.  With my personal doubts I knew I truly had cancer and I choose to do the best I could to help myself be successful.  My basic formula was hydration and nutrition.  Taking care of those two items helps all.

I never had taken any anxiety pills or antidepressants or anything related to mental health and wellbeing until I discovered the awful feelings which came over me getting a PET, a MRI or wearing that godforsaken dreaded mask.  That one simple Lorazepam tablet was a blessing and made close encounters of the scan and mask kind doable, doable, doable.  I mean this from the kindest most heartfelt part of my being.  Funny side note, I always thought I was totally my normal self while on Lorazepam.  I read all the time about H&N members who didn’t give a hoot about the mask and I suppose they could even wear it while driving.  I was not one of those lucky members, maybe you will be.  Take the meds you need and put this problem behind you.

Also, don’t think you can tough out nausea, pain, burns, etc.  Keep your team informed and be prepared.

You cannot continue to beat yourself up.  This has happened to you and your best avenue for a favorable treatment is to do what is best to help your body get through the side effects which will come.  Most H&N members get some of the side effects, but not all of them. 

You can do this.

Matt

I am 2 weeks post surgery for removal of lymph nodes and exploratory surgery to try and determine source of HPV+ (unsuccessful), and will begin chemoradiation in a few weeks. I too, am very anxious, especially after reading about the hardships most suffer from during the treatment. I have solid family support but think they are not fully aware of the toll this will also take on them. My wife admonishes me not to spend so much time reading of others experiences because it will get me down. I respond that I need to go into this with the proper expectations, and to be prepared to slay the dragon. I appreciate the input of others who have gone before me, and look forward to the time that I might provide support to others, of my experiences. I will think of you, and pray for you during this time. 

Hi Suez,

Actually, I have been through the radiation and chemo treatment twice now. First time about ten years ago at the age of 54, and again last year at the age of 64. Like you, I had absolutely no support from anyone either time. The first time was less than two months after my wife died. I drove myself to treatments an hour and a half away, and I drove myself home after it was all done. I rang the bell both times in an empty room by myself. There is no magic that is going to make it all easy. You're right, having somebody to at least ride along might make it a little easier but to be honest, the treatments are not so bad. You will work yourself into a frenzy if you start to worry about it before you even start. It's all of the healing you have to do after the treatments are over and I'll tell you now, it affects everybody differently. Everybody. Just remind yourself that this is necessary. Find the strength within you to step up and take care of business. It makes it much easier looking back, I think, to know that you did do what had to be done even if you did have to do it alone. As my Grandad used to say, "Just put your head down and push on through it".

Wishing you the best. Sending you strength.

Just thought that I would toss out there that I "eat" Isosource 1.5 nutrition drinks and Prostat protein supplement. It's what I live on as far as nutrition. Try to stay away from the "store" brands like Ensure and those kinds. They will keep you in a fight with your stomach. Ask your Doctor about a talk with a Nutritionist. They can actually prescribe your food. In my case, my insurance has started covering the cost so that helps some.

Hang in there Susan! We'll talk about this mess and laugh about it while we cry one day.

Hi Suez,

I am days from my one year mark from the end of treatments! YAY! I am glad you are getting your Lorazepam if your anxiety is getting the best of you. I wish i could be there to help you through this, but I am here for you.

The Peg is easy to use and you just want to make sure that you are never laying flat when you are using it. I had a gravity bag for night hydration and daytime feedings and it is very important that you are always elevated. There is a real danger that your food can come up your esophagus and into your lungs with aspiration risk and possible pneumonia, so just never feed laying flat. I used about 3-4 pillows to prop myself up when I slept, and I found it VERY useful to have one of those U shaped travel pillows they make for napping sitting up. Especially when the mucous episodes started in week 3-4. You may never get the mucous, so dont worry about it now. But get the pillow, I promise that you will find it helpful! Every day down now, is another day closer to the finish line. Keep your eye on the prize of finishing! You definitely have the sass, focus, and passion to get thorough this. Others have done it solo, and so will you. If I hadn't had my kids taking care of me, I would have reached out to this network more. You are on my mind, and I am praying for you constantly. Your friend, Nancy

Hi,

So glad you found the best place to be when battling oral cancer. All of us here have some experience with the disease, as caretakers, loved one, or the patient. We aren't medical professionals but have plenty of real world experience to help you navigate your journey through this trip. We used to use the metaphor of the bus and taking a trip, bump and all. You are at the checkpoint where the road is going to get rough, no sugarcoating it. Most get a week or two of a "free" ride, then you'll be facing some rough times. Please ask anything, reach out, share the fright and uncertainties, we are all family and want to help as much as you want. 

Hi Sue,

Sorry, didn't mean to sound mean. I was just trying to make the point that sometimes you just have to do what has to be done. Sometimes, you just don't have a choice other than to take the medicine, let it hurt until it heals, and keep trying. That's all.

Sorry if I hurt your feelings. That certainly was not my intent.