Caregiver and tired

go for it, complain and cry a good cry and keep going.

I do it to, no one is judgong you. It's hard work taking care of loved ones, and scary too! 

I know how you feel.

Post comments any time on this forum.  Complaining/talking is good and healthy for you.  Talk anytime.

I wouldnt worry about housework.  If your behind, thats okay.  Leave the housework and give yourself a break.
The whole process of taking care of someone while they are going through cancer is exhausting and you need
breaks.  As a side note, my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer when our youngest child was 2 years old.  We
have 3 kids.  I didnt do housework for 2 years; until my youngest went to a 4K program.  I did laundry once in
awhile and then heap the cleaned clothes in a closet.  The kids got up and scrambled for clean clothes from the
closet floor.  Housework is nice and I enjoy a more organized house now, but taking time off and staying sane
is more important.

I've been full-time sole caregiver for my kid sister for a month - but that followed a month in hospital after the unexpected news that chemotherapy had failed and there were no other treatment options. That followed my commuting 300 miles every three weeks through the winter to take care of her during and for a week after chemo appts. We live in different major Canadian cities. Fortunately, I'm semi-retired and single so have been able to basically move into my sister's house while upstairs neighbours take in my mail and keep an eye on my apartment back home. My sister has metastatic endometrial cancer; I learned in May that I too had endometrial cancer, and had surgery within a week of diagnosis. Surgery was all I needed since it was stage 1, grade 1, no apparent spread and caused by least aggressive cell type while my sister's was caused by most aggressive cell type.

I'm happy to be able to help my sister. She's my best friend and I love her to pieces. Our youngest sister checks in by phone every few weeks but only with my sister and not with me. I go out for coffee in conjunction with shopping when a PSW is with my sister. So I get some breaks but this role is very isolating. I can't even figure out a time to talk to friends at home by phone.

All the advice for caregivers says to get enough sleep and eat properly, which is easier said than done. So I try to allow myself to be proud of little successes, like buying a plastic drawer unit and organizing drugs, towels, bedding, etc.; staying on top of the laundry so there's always clean towels and sheets and clothes; and organizing my own record of her med sked, symptoms, etc. It sometimes feels pathetic to be so pleased with myself for such minor achievements - I'm an adult after all, 63 years old - but you have to take positive feelings where you find them.

jorola said:

Not pathetic at all!

I can't get that organized even now my husband is through his treatment and better. I think you are amazing!!! Wanna come to my house?

Ha, jorola! It's easier at someone else's house. You should see my apartment! On second thought, no you shouldn't...

My mother in law was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in the spring and I'm her primary caregiver. I have an almost 2 year old daughter and my husband and I both work full time. I'm bipolar as well. It's hard not to feel alone. My mother and sister are hours away. I have to constantly remind myself of the good things: My MIl only lives two houses down from me, my daughter is too young to be affected by any of this, she mostly makes us laugh while we cry and my coworkers are very supportive and my job is semi flexable. I guess my point is that your not alone, it is hard, but to keep your loved one alive and happy through this is more important. Just wish the pile of laundry and dishes would disappear....oh well