I have one nerve...

TheTerry
TheTerry Member Posts: 27
in Caregivers #1

PSW, scheduled for three hours tonight, phoned to say she'd be here i  15 minutes BUT has a "heavy cold" and will try not to give it to my sister. Said she was actually not feeling well when here last night. WTF? Why, I  asked, did you not call this morning for a sub? Oh, you'll never get a sub on a holiday weekend, she said. (It's Thanksgiving weekend in Canada.) She said she'd try not to give the cold to my sister (in palliative care) or me. WTF again?

I've been doing this for only two months and shouldn't feel as angry and fried as I do, but there it is. I was here for my sister's hysterectomy (endometrial cancer) in 2014 (I live 300 miles away); for ICU admission for side effects of radiation in  2015  and commuted every three weeks last winter to take care of her through six cycles of chemo. (In May 2016, I had emergency cholecystectomy, and inMay 2017 found out I too had endometrial cancer, but least aggressive cell type so needed only surgery.) I came for a visit in mid-August-  just to hang out with my sister, see a movie, etc., and take her for a routine follow-up appt at the cancer centre when we were told that the chemo hadn't worked and she was out of treatment options. She had to be hospitalized for a month, during which time I did a major clean-up of her house so she could come home. On Tuesday she will have been home a month, and outlived the MDs'life expectancy estimates (in the first 24 hours, it went from6-8 months, to 3 months to 1 month, and the next day it was 2 months.

So I flip out if a PSW decides to work knowing she's sick. Not the first time a PSW has failed to work a full shift. I  shouldn't feel as unsupported as I do but this role is very isolating, especially when I'm not in my home town.

I just needed to vent and feel sorry for myself, and figured people here would understand.

Comments

  • jorola
    jorola Member Posts: 243 Member
    #2
    I get it

    Sorry what should be a holiday weekend has turned into nothing but crap.  No she should not be coming in sick to your sister who is in palletive care. She should have been calling her boss and working her butt off to get coverage. TRY not to give her the cold???? What the ???? is right. No you go ahead and vent and come Tuesday as Monday is the holiday for us I would be calling her boss. I am sorry to hear there are no options left for your sister, you had the diagnosis yourself, that you are far from her and your home town and now this. Like I said vent away and its ok - you guys got dealt a crappy hand. Hugs from a fellow Canuck. I am originally from a small town in Canada too.

  • TheTerry
    TheTerry Member Posts: 27
    #3
    jorola said:

    I get it

    Sorry what should be a holiday weekend has turned into nothing but crap.  No she should not be coming in sick to your sister who is in palletive care. She should have been calling her boss and working her butt off to get coverage. TRY not to give her the cold???? What the ???? is right. No you go ahead and vent and come Tuesday as Monday is the holiday for us I would be calling her boss. I am sorry to hear there are no options left for your sister, you had the diagnosis yourself, that you are far from her and your home town and now this. Like I said vent away and its ok - you guys got dealt a crappy hand. Hugs from a fellow Canuck. I am originally from a small town in Canada too.

    Thanks, jorola! We're

    Thanks, jorola! We're originally (shhh) American but came here for university and stayed. Best decision of our lives. I'm from Toronto and my sister is in Ottawa. Hugs back to you and happy Thanksgiving! xo

  • jorola
    jorola Member Posts: 243 Member
    #4
    Welcome and Happy Thanksgiving

    all is good hun LOL. Hoping things get better for your sis and you.

  • TheTerry
    TheTerry Member Posts: 27
    edited October 2017 #5
    Thanks! And good luck to you!

    Thanks! And good luck to you!

  • TheTerry
    TheTerry Member Posts: 27
    #6
    More loss

    I have (had) a 7yo cat. When i came to look after my sister, 300 miles away (I live in Toronto and she is in Ottawa), I boarded the cat. That was just after I learned that his diminished kidney function was worse - which is why I boarded him at the vet clinic and didn't have neighbours look in on him in my apartment. The vet called on Friday to say that my little guy was worse and if a few last-ditch measures didn't work, she'd probably recommend that he be put down.

    Sure enough, she called this morning and said the treatment she tried over the weekend didnt work. So my guy, who I haven't seen in 10 weeks, was put down this afternoon. It hasn't completely registered since I have bigger concerns - my sister is in palliative care and had a really bad night last night with pain off the charts. (She was better on Tuesday. The pain came on suddenly before we could get ahead of it so it was harder to control. I called the palliative care doc on-call who took issue with every treatment decision our regular doctor has made; I suspect they don't see eye to eye in person either but I hated having to explain why we're using Drug X for nausea instead of Drug Y, etc.)

    My sister has a healthy 14yo cat with whom I have bonded and who I will inherit so that eases the loss of my cat somewhat...

     

    Gizmo

     

     

  • jorola
    jorola Member Posts: 243 Member
    #7
    so sorry

    Pets are family and to lose them breaks the heart. I am so sorry for your loss.

  • TheTerry
    TheTerry Member Posts: 27
    edited October 2017 #8
    Thanks...

    Thanks jorola! 

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