Instead of Cancer...

This is something that I've got to take one day at a time.  I've been cancer free but the side effects have left me with problems everyday.  Neuropathy that is partially controlled by medication and uncontrollable bowel movements leaving me using the bathroom up to 15 times a day.  I've tried to adjust my life to my situation but sometimes it's very unpredictable.  Other people have much different situations than myself right now.  When my treatment was going on walking or the treadmill was my release to get a little exercise.  Going to a park just to get out of the house was fine with me.  That is awesome that you can go back to work.  My bowels wouldn't let me.  I'm sure that you get some release by letting go of that fight that you continue by keeping your mind on something else which is very good.  Wishing you the best.

Kim

Jim, what an excellent post.  Seems so much of what we do revolves around appointments and prescriptions, etc.  Makes it difficult to forget our situation.  And I get so very tired of talking about it with others.

Time spent playing with our 2-year old granddaughter is always good for erasing cancer from my mind.  I am also really into puzzles and games, in the newspaper or on my phone or PC.  Love that kind of mindless activity.  It helps my stress level.  I enjoy going to the gym when I have the energy.  The pool and sauna are relaxing and shift my focus.  

I asked them to hold off on the port until after my surgery.  I haven't made a final decision about the heavy duty chemo yet.  

BRHMichigan said:

Nature....

Tru, I have read that walking in nature provides healing unlike walking on a treadmill.  You definitely have something there.  Unfortunately I have to be near a bathroom at this point.  But...after my surgery I look forward to getting outside more, and going to the store and shopping more.  I know it will imorove my outcome in the long run.

 I find myself a hidden spot, I have everything I need to take care of myself and I go. Unlike others I have come across, I leave no trace. 

When I first got past treatment, I would have a bm about 10 - 20 times a day. Being able to go out into the wilds was such a freedom for me. Only having to worry about getting to my hidden spots - and I found several of them - meant I could get out of the house and away from the bathroom. 

I still have bad bathroom days, and it is great knowing I am not tied to a loo.  

I must admit, it does take guts to go in the wild, especially in this desert land where there are few hidden spots. Luckily, my canyon is not busy, and I am comfortable. It would be allot different if it were the local hot spot or park. That, I couldn't do. 

The treadmill is good though. Any exercise is good, and you do what you can until things improve, and they will. 

Hang in there. 

Tru

Although I love nature, unlike Tru, I'm not a hiker nor a wilderness person- and on the rare occasions I've needed to find a hidden spot,  mosquitos and fire ants had beaten me to it- and let me know they didn't appreciate my presence! One of the joys of living in a hot, humid climate.I don't do well in the heat any more, so can't take long walks, but   do  walk on a manual treadmill in the house and attend a weekly yoga class  to keep in shape. I do try to live  a new normal similar to the pre-cancer normal- with some adjustments. I  have never liked shopping - except for groceries and hardware, and still get out and do that- usually when the stores are not all that crowded. I love to garden, but find that I  have to do it early in the morning before the heat and the insects  become unbearable. Because I  get fatigued easily ( not sure  how much of that is the cancer or the chemo or just old age- probably a combination of all three) I work in shorter bursts of maybe a half hour at a time, then rest for ten minutes before tackling it again. It takes longer, but it gets done.  I do try to avoid crowds because of a compromised immune system, have to scope out   bathrooms wherever  I go, and have had to make adjustments there, too. I enjoy classical music. Hearing the orchestra tune up when the concermaster gives the cue gives me a thrill similar to what Tru describes when she hears a gushing creek. Now, instead of attending  evening concerts of the local symphony, I attend shorter, less crowded (and less expensive) morning concerts, choosing   seats  closest to the exit in case I have a bathroom emergency. It's actually turned out very well because I  can get seats in the dress circle almost within  touching distance of the  musicians- seats that cost over $40 more  for the evenng perfomances!

I can honestly say that cancer  doesn't really occupy my mind  all that much.I  view it almost   the same as having a chronic, treatable, medical condition. Although I've never been NED since my diagnosis  two and a half years ago,  I've been very fortunate in making it through  chemo, radiation, a liver ablation and more chemo with minimal side effects and that in itself has enabled me to do things  pretty much as I did before, with modifications. I'm now scheduled  for abdominoperineal resection surgery to remove the primary  rectal tumor in a week and a half, which I'm sure will require more modifications in my activities as I get used to dealing with a colostomy, but I see it as a positive in that it will give  some freedom from  constantly needing to have a bathroom close by, or at least I hope that will be the case  . 

Grace/lizard44

Work, working out, walking, hiking when it doesn't make my feet too sore, having some beers with the boys, watching sports and yelling at the TV like any of it really matters, reading, etc. Mostly I've found that when I'm worn out, I'm too tired to worry, so when it builds up in you, get moving. I bought a good eliptical so that if I'm wound late at night, I can just get on it. I have Xanax for tense doctor stuff, but haven't needed it for quite a while, still it helped in the first years of this ride. This is my way of dealing with cancer anxiety and it's worked well fror me, I hope you find the right set of mechanisms that work for you.....................................Dave

l love walking out in nature.  There’s a very beautiful walking trail that runs next to a babbling brook near our home.  You’ll find me there quite often.  Reading Russian literature and books by my favorite authors.  Just finished John Le Carre ‘s  new novel A Legacy of Spies...highly recommend. Going to the local bookshop for author book readings.   Listening to music both familiar and new to me on Spotify.   Attending the many free concerts in our area.  sitting at a coffee shop and watching the world pass by. 

These are a few of my favorite things....

I'm coming up on my 1 year cancerversary this week and have been reflecting on what a crazy year it has been and the new normal. Originally, what was supposed to be Life 2.0, work less and live more, turned into battling cancer. What has kept me grounded throughout is "be here now"; living life in the present. Having small realistic goals that are achievable keeps me focused and engaged. I have a "blue chip" poker chip that I either carry or it sits near the door in a bowl that reminds me what's important; family, friends, gratitude. I rub it to keep me focused on being present. My days include walk/runs, meditation, volunteering/consulting, planning weekly and future events that are fun and stimulating.  Live life now!  During chemo I set a goal to run a 5K at the end and followed a couch to 5K running plan.  I had good days and bad but finished the race. Now working through my ileostomy reversal surgery and life without a rectum. I started training again for a 5K at the end of October. I’m a playdough factory when I run but it is what it is and deal with it.  I try to keep everything in perspective and not dwell too much on what if… Every now and then when my mind starts to stray I’ll give myself a 5 minute pity party and then move on.      

The first time I ever heard of  a colostomy was  when I was 10 and  Babe Didrikson Zaharias became my hero when she won the US Women's Open  golf  tournament  in 1954, 15 months after her cancer/colostomy surgery.  I don't know why  that impressed me so much back then but I think it may be  part of the reason I wasn't  devastated by the news,  60 years later,  that I  would  have the same surgery. I'm not  athletic in any sense of the word,  but I have read since then of  athletes, including a professional football player (whose name I can't recall), who played  after his  surgery. I  would think that as long as you  work up to it,  don't try anything too soon, clear  it with your medical team, and   find a way  to make sure you  don't get hit by tennis balls in  your abdomen,  tennis  should be doable, as well as running.  Good luck.

Grace/lizard44