Instead of Cancer...

airborne72

I wanted to present this to the forum and see what others might offer.  So much of what we read on this forum is negative, yet real.  Cancer sucks and I do not deny that.  But what I want to know is what others do to divert their focus from cancer; to instead direct their activities to something unrelated to pain, medication, treatment, diagnositic tests and even death.

What are you doing on a regular basis that subjugates cancer to a secondary role?  What are you doing that elevates normal life, your previous life, above a "cancerous life" and allows you to enjoy the moment?

Cancer affects us in two ways - one is physical and the other is mental (includes spiritual).  Soon after diagosis we realize that there is no guaranteed cure for the physical aspect, so we adapt (bargain, compute survival rates, etc.).  But not so with the mental aspect.  There is something we can do there because we are in control of our mind (psychic).  If we surrender to the physical condition and do not leverage the mental condition then we are allowing cancer to assume total control of us.

I do not want to surrender to this disease, in any aspect.  To invigorate my mental "fight" I have elected to go back to work part time.  That has proven to be beneficial, but I can not sustain that because of impending resection surgery and subsequent mop-up chemo.  After that I will be once again facing the challenge of mental focus and I want to be prepared.

Other than working (full time or part time), what are you doing to mentally engage cancer?  If your physical condition precludes you from work or other similar activities, what are you doing to maintain an active life?

Jim

Trubrit

Interesting question

I am at a stage in this fight, where I am pretty normal. I do have neuropathy in my feet and fingertips; and I do have problems with my bowels. There are others, of course, but these are the two major ones.  I have learned to live with these side effects, for the most part. The neuropathy is predictable. The bowel isn't.  

How I really keep my mind focused on living, is by hiking. I live a short distance from a very beautiful canyon. I know it inside out, including all the hidden spots (I live in the desert, there are few trees, few hidden spots). 

I believe we all have to find what works for us. What we think keeps us alive. For me, when I hear the gushing creek, or the quaking of Aspen leaves. When I see a herd of Pronghorn (20 this morning), or an Eagle soaring above, a butterfly, etc. I experience a feeling like no other. I have tried to pinpoint it. Is it euphoria? Is it an adrenaline rush? Whatever it is, it fills me, it saturates me with joy, and I believe this has played a HUGE part in my survival - three years NED - This pushes Cancer to the back burner and makes me feel I could live forever. 

I go up to my canyon at least four times a week. 

It is easier to push back the thoughts of Cancer, the longer you are NED, though it is always there, niggling in your head. 

I wish you luck, as you are still in the active treatment stage. 

I look forward to hearing what others do to live life. 

Tru

Annabelle41415

Living

This is something that I've got to take one day at a time.  I've been cancer free but the side effects have left me with problems everyday.  Neuropathy that is partially controlled by medication and uncontrollable bowel movements leaving me using the bathroom up to 15 times a day.  I've tried to adjust my life to my situation but sometimes it's very unpredictable.  Other people have much different situations than myself right now.  When my treatment was going on walking or the treadmill was my release to get a little exercise.  Going to a park just to get out of the house was fine with me.  That is awesome that you can go back to work.  My bowels wouldn't let me.  I'm sure that you get some release by letting go of that fight that you continue by keeping your mind on something else which is very good.  Wishing you the best.

Kim

Woodytele

A new normal

I would say to get as close as you can to whatever your normal life was before cancer.  You may not be able to do everything like before, but you may come close.  You may not be able to work full time with unlimited energy, but maybe part time.  You may not be able to eat and drink everything you once did, but maybe occasionally.  The more you can focus on the positive of what you can do, it will push the negative thoughts aside for a while. 

BRHMichigan

Pushing cancer out of our minds...

Jim, what an excellent post.  Seems so much of what we do revolves around appointments and prescriptions, etc.  Makes it difficult to forget our situation.  And I get so very tired of talking about it with others.

Time spent playing with our 2-year old granddaughter is always good for erasing cancer from my mind.  I am also really into puzzles and games, in the newspaper or on my phone or PC.  Love that kind of mindless activity.  It helps my stress level.  I enjoy going to the gym when I have the energy.  The pool and sauna are relaxing and shift my focus.  

I asked them to hold off on the port until after my surgery.  I haven't made a final decision about the heavy duty chemo yet.  

BRHMichigan

Nature....

Tru, I have read that walking in nature provides healing unlike walking on a treadmill.  You definitely have something there.  Unfortunately I have to be near a bathroom at this point.  But...after my surgery I look forward to getting outside more, and going to the store and shopping more.  I know it will imorove my outcome in the long run.

Trubrit

BRHMichigan said:

Nature....

Tru, I have read that walking in nature provides healing unlike walking on a treadmill.  You definitely have something there.  Unfortunately I have to be near a bathroom at this point.  But...after my surgery I look forward to getting outside more, and going to the store and shopping more.  I know it will imorove my outcome in the long run.

No bathroom where I go

 I find myself a hidden spot, I have everything I need to take care of myself and I go. Unlike others I have come across, I leave no trace. 

When I first got past treatment, I would have a bm about 10 - 20 times a day. Being able to go out into the wilds was such a freedom for me. Only having to worry about getting to my hidden spots - and I found several of them - meant I could get out of the house and away from the bathroom. 

I still have bad bathroom days, and it is great knowing I am not tied to a loo.  

I must admit, it does take guts to go in the wild, especially in this desert land where there are few hidden spots. Luckily, my canyon is not busy, and I am comfortable. It would be allot different if it were the local hot spot or park. That, I couldn't do. 

The treadmill is good though. Any exercise is good, and you do what you can until things improve, and they will. 

Hang in there. 

Tru

BRHMichigan

Trubrit said:

No bathroom where I go

 I find myself a hidden spot, I have everything I need to take care of myself and I go. Unlike others I have come across, I leave no trace. 

When I first got past treatment, I would have a bm about 10 - 20 times a day. Being able to go out into the wilds was such a freedom for me. Only having to worry about getting to my hidden spots - and I found several of them - meant I could get out of the house and away from the bathroom. 

I still have bad bathroom days, and it is great knowing I am not tied to a loo.  

I must admit, it does take guts to go in the wild, especially in this desert land where there are few hidden spots. Luckily, my canyon is not busy, and I am comfortable. It would be allot different if it were the local hot spot or park. That, I couldn't do. 

The treadmill is good though. Any exercise is good, and you do what you can until things improve, and they will. 

Hang in there. 

Tru

Does a bear go to the bathroom in the woods?

Never thought that one could just go to the bathroom in nature if you're remote enough.  Great idea.  And made me laugh....with you, not at you.  

lizard44

I agree with Tru and with Woodytele

Although I love nature, unlike Tru, I'm not a hiker nor a wilderness person- and on the rare occasions I've needed to find a hidden spot,  mosquitos and fire ants had beaten me to it- and let me know they didn't appreciate my presence! One of the joys of living in a hot, humid climate.I don't do well in the heat any more, so can't take long walks, but   do  walk on a manual treadmill in the house and attend a weekly yoga class  to keep in shape. I do try to live  a new normal similar to the pre-cancer normal- with some adjustments. I  have never liked shopping - except for groceries and hardware, and still get out and do that- usually when the stores are not all that crowded. I love to garden, but find that I  have to do it early in the morning before the heat and the insects  become unbearable. Because I  get fatigued easily ( not sure  how much of that is the cancer or the chemo or just old age- probably a combination of all three) I work in shorter bursts of maybe a half hour at a time, then rest for ten minutes before tackling it again. It takes longer, but it gets done.  I do try to avoid crowds because of a compromised immune system, have to scope out   bathrooms wherever  I go, and have had to make adjustments there, too. I enjoy classical music. Hearing the orchestra tune up when the concermaster gives the cue gives me a thrill similar to what Tru describes when she hears a gushing creek. Now, instead of attending  evening concerts of the local symphony, I attend shorter, less crowded (and less expensive) morning concerts, choosing   seats  closest to the exit in case I have a bathroom emergency. It's actually turned out very well because I  can get seats in the dress circle almost within  touching distance of the  musicians- seats that cost over $40 more  for the evenng perfomances!

I can honestly say that cancer  doesn't really occupy my mind  all that much.I  view it almost   the same as having a chronic, treatable, medical condition. Although I've never been NED since my diagnosis  two and a half years ago,  I've been very fortunate in making it through  chemo, radiation, a liver ablation and more chemo with minimal side effects and that in itself has enabled me to do things  pretty much as I did before, with modifications. I'm now scheduled  for abdominoperineal resection surgery to remove the primary  rectal tumor in a week and a half, which I'm sure will require more modifications in my activities as I get used to dealing with a colostomy, but I see it as a positive in that it will give  some freedom from  constantly needing to have a bathroom close by, or at least I hope that will be the case  . 

Grace/lizard44

NHMike

Nice to hear from you Jim. I

Nice to hear from you Jim. I was wondering how things were going in the time in-between.

As you know, I like to play tennis, run and workout but I have a lot of other things that I like to do, need to do and want to do. I have a long list of home maintenance things to take care of and I try to do a little at a time. I also dabble in the financial markets using technical and fundamental methods. I would like to build up a good sized nest egg for my wife and kids should I not survive and we're nearing the end of a long-term bull market so things may get rough next year or 2019.I have a list of financial books that I'd like to read while I'm recovering from surgery. I have an open source software project that I'd like to contribute to (I have in the past). I'd love to learn bioinformatics so that I could contribute to solving cancer. Unfortunately it would take quite some time to come up to speed on the bio and genetics stuff.

There's stuff to learn at work. My industry is changing so fast and I need to retrain for the new stuff.

I'd like to travel and take some time off and enjoy life.

There are a lot of things out there that need to be done, whether for pay, for the satisfaction of helping others, improving some area that you're interested in. I hope that you can find something that will engage you and motivate you and take your mind off the bad stuff. Despite having a lot to do, I also worry and pray a lot over my cancer (and those of others here and elsewhere).

 

 

 

 

beaumontdave

Work, working out, walking,

Work, working out, walking, hiking when it doesn't make my feet too sore, having some beers with the boys, watching sports and yelling at the TV like any of it really matters, reading, etc. Mostly I've found that when I'm worn out, I'm too tired to worry, so when it builds up in you, get moving. I bought a good eliptical so that if I'm wound late at night, I can just get on it. I have Xanax for tense doctor stuff, but haven't needed it for quite a while, still it helped in the first years of this ride. This is my way of dealing with cancer anxiety and it's worked well fror me, I hope you find the right set of mechanisms that work for you.....................................Dave

kyolcu

Hi Jim,

it is a great question. I am having chemo for 1 and half year with minimum sude effects. I try to be always with positive mind and Reiki meditation, I tokk a course and doing it myself at home. I hope I am getting some benefit out of it. I also do work 1 day a week but work definetely helps and I believe I may be handle to work 1 more day to help me out more.

PamRav

Jim, great question!

l love walking out in nature.  There’s a very beautiful walking trail that runs next to a babbling brook near our home.  You’ll find me there quite often.  Reading Russian literature and books by my favorite authors.  Just finished John Le Carre ‘s  new novel A Legacy of Spies...highly recommend. Going to the local bookshop for author book readings.   Listening to music both familiar and new to me on Spotify.   Attending the many free concerts in our area.  sitting at a coffee shop and watching the world pass by. 

These are a few of my favorite things....

darcher

Initially I tried working

Initially I tried working full time which to me is about 12 hours plus a day but the stress from it made it impossible.  For a week or so after I did nothing but vegetate and that seemed to make matters worse to the extent that all I thought about was cancer.  So, I've gone back into the business part time for as long as I can handle it each day.  Sometimes it's an hour or two and others it's all day.   Between it and some of the other hobby things it keeps me from thinking about cancer most of the time.  I find that when I can be creative and focused makes me most happy and blocks the thoughts of cancer from seeping in.  An empty mind is cancer's playground.  Keep it out and life is almost normal.      

Cindy225

Be Here Now...

I'm coming up on my 1 year cancerversary this week and have been reflecting on what a crazy year it has been and the new normal. Originally, what was supposed to be Life 2.0, work less and live more, turned into battling cancer. What has kept me grounded throughout is "be here now"; living life in the present. Having small realistic goals that are achievable keeps me focused and engaged. I have a "blue chip" poker chip that I either carry or it sits near the door in a bowl that reminds me what's important; family, friends, gratitude. I rub it to keep me focused on being present. My days include walk/runs, meditation, volunteering/consulting, planning weekly and future events that are fun and stimulating.  Live life now!  During chemo I set a goal to run a 5K at the end and followed a couch to 5K running plan.  I had good days and bad but finished the race. Now working through my ileostomy reversal surgery and life without a rectum. I started training again for a 5K at the end of October. I’m a playdough factory when I run but it is what it is and deal with it.  I try to keep everything in perspective and not dwell too much on what if… Every now and then when my mind starts to stray I’ll give myself a 5 minute pity party and then move on.      

NHMike

Cindy225 said:

Be Here Now...

I'm coming up on my 1 year cancerversary this week and have been reflecting on what a crazy year it has been and the new normal. Originally, what was supposed to be Life 2.0, work less and live more, turned into battling cancer. What has kept me grounded throughout is "be here now"; living life in the present. Having small realistic goals that are achievable keeps me focused and engaged. I have a "blue chip" poker chip that I either carry or it sits near the door in a bowl that reminds me what's important; family, friends, gratitude. I rub it to keep me focused on being present. My days include walk/runs, meditation, volunteering/consulting, planning weekly and future events that are fun and stimulating.  Live life now!  During chemo I set a goal to run a 5K at the end and followed a couch to 5K running plan.  I had good days and bad but finished the race. Now working through my ileostomy reversal surgery and life without a rectum. I started training again for a 5K at the end of October. I’m a playdough factory when I run but it is what it is and deal with it.  I try to keep everything in perspective and not dwell too much on what if… Every now and then when my mind starts to stray I’ll give myself a 5 minute pity party and then move on.      

Some of that is where I want

Some of that is where I want to be. I do not know if I will be able to run or play tennis with a bag and would love to know if there are runners and tennis players out there. But it's not something I'd care to ask on tennis forums. I didn't do much over the weekend - full day fast on Saturday and cleaning up my home office and doing chores on Sunday. Today I did a bunch of strength-training and some stretching and it felt good but the treadmills were busy at the office so I didn't get a run in. So let me know how you do with the running. The "Getting Fit" thread is a good place for that.

lizard44

Athletes with colostomies

The first time I ever heard of  a colostomy was  when I was 10 and  Babe Didrikson Zaharias became my hero when she won the US Women's Open  golf  tournament  in 1954, 15 months after her cancer/colostomy surgery.  I don't know why  that impressed me so much back then but I think it may be  part of the reason I wasn't  devastated by the news,  60 years later,  that I  would  have the same surgery. I'm not  athletic in any sense of the word,  but I have read since then of  athletes, including a professional football player (whose name I can't recall), who played  after his  surgery. I  would think that as long as you  work up to it,  don't try anything too soon, clear  it with your medical team, and   find a way  to make sure you  don't get hit by tennis balls in  your abdomen,  tennis  should be doable, as well as running.  Good luck.

Grace/lizard44

Cindy225

Absolutely Can Run!

My doctor said it was OK for me to run with a temporary ileostomy.  She was very clear no forms of abdominal exercise including sit ups, certain yoga poses and weights due to increased risk for a hernia. Agree with Grace to get the go ahead from your doctor for the specific exercise program you want to do if/when get an ileostomy/colostomy. Hope you don't. Might be challenging to play tennis with a sweeping backhand and stretching your core side to side at least post surgery for 6-8 weeks. As far as running goes I got a stealthbelt to wear while I ran with a bag. You can google. It is expensive but it worked great. Kept everything in place. Never had any leaks or issues. Timing was never a problem for me but some blogs suggest taking immodium to slow things down before going for a run.  Dehydration was a concern so I always ran with a water bottle.  Also for me my port stuck out and certain sports bras/clothing irritated it so something to keep in mind.  Happy running!

Cindy