Father with Stage IV Glioblastoma - very angry

mnett19
mnett19 Member Posts: 1
in Brain Cancer #1

Hi All,

I'm new to the discussion board, but am hoping for some help as I am feeling very alone and frustrated.  My dad was diagnosed about 5 weeks ago with stage four glioblastoma. The tumor a butterfly glioma that spreads across his frontal lobes; this effects personality and emotion.  My dad has always been a lover not a fighter, but lately, the past three weeks or so, I've watched him turn into a fighter, not a lover.  He started treatment - Temodar and radiation on 11/14.  He seems to take his anger out on my mom, his primary caregiver (and lately me).  Sometimes I wonder (and I hope I dont sound horrible for saying this), if he turns this on and off for certain people.  He'll be screaming at my mom in one breath (this never happened before) and then if someone calls on the phone, he's sweet as pie and you would think my "old dad" is back and everything is normal.  He'll say things like "maybe I wont go out tonight, I might have more fun just sitting here and annoying you the rest of the night", so it makes me think he knows what he's doing and how he's acting.  He keeps saying "it's all about me, no one else, remember that", and has become beligerent, inconsiderate and obnoxious to others that he sometimes knows or doesnt know.  I know the steriod he's on, the treatment and where the cancer sits in his brain can be effecting all of these things that make my dad not my dad anymore, and it's hard for me to bite his tongue when he acts out of character, but I do. 

Has anyone else experienced the nastiness of a loved one who was never like this pre-cancer?  If so, what did you do?  Is there any reasoning with them or is it a waste of time?  

Comments

  • dfniece
    dfniece Member Posts: 2 Member
    #2
    mnett19, I am sorry that you

    mnett19, I am sorry that you and your family are going through this. As you pointed out the location of the tumor in itself can very much be responsible for changes in personality and inhibition of your dad. The physiology aside, this diagnosis itself is such a shock that patients and their families go through a range of emotions and behaviours that they have never experienced before. What we did with our loved one, was being patient and supporting him everystep of the way. Reminding him and ourselves of the beautiful memories we had as a family and being thankful for the number of years we had with him. From what I have read and my expereince, GBM takes the personality before taking the person. Just be patient and love your dad as always. Cherish your moments with him. 

    In my thoughts

  • mybearsweetbear
    mybearsweetbear Member Posts: 1
    #3
    mnett19 very angry

    that is excatly what is happening. anger. Your father might not be able to reason. my husband a very loving man became very angry also. I read that the location of the tumor takes away the ability to reason. with that in mind keep reminding yourself and your mom that he is not behaving this way on purpose. I used past experiences when he was upset like getting his mind off the subject, singing his favorite song, what ever i could think of to get him in a good mood again. please be patient and rember this nastiness is his way of expressing his emotions. 

    that love in your heart goes a long way. my prayers

  • vschiff
    vschiff Member Posts: 6
    #4
    mnett 19, I am sorry

    I understand completely what you are going through.  My late husband had glioblastoma multiforme grade IV and his tumors were in the frontal and left lobes.  He also would say things that were so hurtful and swear like a sailor, but then he would be so sweet.  It was hard for all of us, we had four children.  When he was ok and having good days, he would say that he could not understand what was happening when it was happening, but would always apologize.  He also would not be able to communicate at times, but later on he would say he knew what he wanted to say but it would not come out.  Please be patient and love him through the hard times.  He loves you and your mom very much.  I know it isn't fair.  Praying for you and your family.

  • Barbara_apr30
    Barbara_apr30 Member Posts: 2
    #5
    Mnett19 - how is your father doing?

    Hello,

    i was wondering how your father is doing and how you are holding up? 

    My mom was diagnosed within inoperable bifrontal butterfly glioblastoma at the end of October. She did one round of radiation in December along with oral chemo for 3 weeks . She just had her second round of oral chemo at the beginning of this month. I have to say, the Dexamenthasone (med for brain swelling) is awful. It changed her mood, when she was put on a high dose in Decamber. It is making her gain excessive weight, along with the moon face, buffalo body effect and it is wearing out her leg muscles. She is having trouble lifting her right leg and I don't know if it is because of the Dex or the tumor growing.

    She was doing good the last weeks of January with her spirits high, good mood (her Dex dose was lowered 8mg a day), talking and laughing a lot. Now that she started the chemo again, she is very tired. The doctors lowered her Dex dose again and her mind is not as sharp as it was when put on the higher dose.

    My family is so sad that my mom is going through this. Her life changed overnight and to know there is no cure is completely heartbreaking. She is a loving, strong, caring mom and grandmother and I wouldn't wish this awful disease on anyone.

     

     

  • Happi1
    Happi1 Member Posts: 3
    #6
    So sorry to here this . My

    So sorry to here this . My husband did the same thing he was so angry on the high dose of steroids for weeks . It does get better he tapper from steroids and his temper and bad language ahs changed . He seems to be my husband again and so happy for that . Hope this helps some

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