Losing my job and a question about my kidney

Yup, my boss decided that I have to leave the company. First he told me he was cutting me back to two days a week because he's going to open more days and hours and wants to give the new person four days a week and cut me back because I'm 'unrelibale'. I've missed two weeks last September because of an obstruction and then three weeks in February with the new chemo. Plus I have hours that I miss having to see my onc or have a CT scan or whatever. He said then if I have to miss time the other girl can work the days or times I miss. Then two days ago he said he's havng trouble finding an associate and he's giving me a month's notice because he won't be open six days a week.

It's actually illegal for him to fire me for medical reasons but I don't think I'll, say anything to the labour board. If that's how he feels I'd rather leave anyway. And I don;t blame him for feeling like he does. There's only me at the front so it's a real hardship if I'm not there but he had said that he'd get a temp in if I needed time off and then he never did. The hard part is that he's completely unapologetic and seems to want me to feel guilty. He said things like "I don't need someone working for me who I never know if they're going to come to work or not". Which is very hurtful. And I gave him several day's notice. I really don't need him to make me feel badly about myself. Before cancer I was one of those employees that never took a day off sick. I'm trying to tell myself not to let his words hurt me but it's very hard not to let it make me feel damaged and useless again. I already feel like less than a normal person and he's just underlined that fact.

Anyway, that being said, he's my dilema. I'm supposed to get a stent put in my urethra in May because of the adhesions from the cancer surgery pinching off one kidney. They're not even sure it's not too late at this point and one kidney isn't too far gone. So they want to try it and see if it helps. My ong, my family docotr and my surgeon have all said that I can live on one kidney and don't seem concerned if the one is already dead. Of course, the kidney guy (urologist?) wants me to do it. The I found out that I'd have to have it done every 4 nonths and take a few days off because I'll be incontinent for a couple of days. So now that this has happened I'm thinking I'm not going to do it. I really don't want to go through the procedure and every four months? I'll lose another job! But I also worry that if I let the one kidney die without at least trying to save it I might regret it later. Crap, I hate this cancer garbage. It was bad enough to start with, why does it have to keep giving me problems and also have come back again in my lung? I need to work! The new chemo I'm on is not bothering me at all, by the way, but I have to go every three weeks to see my onc. Once again, I'm a bad employee for missing time. Dammit, I'm so angry at myself. I hate being this way and I'm having a hard time feeling tough and not like a victim.

Jan