Losing my job and a question about my kidney

JanJan63

Yup, my boss decided that I have to leave the company. First he told me he was cutting me back to two days a week because he's going to open more days and hours and wants to give the new person four days a week and cut me back because I'm 'unrelibale'. I've missed two weeks last September because of an obstruction and then three weeks in February with the new chemo. Plus I have hours that I miss having to see my onc or have a CT scan or whatever. He said then if I have to miss time the other girl can work the days or times I miss. Then two days ago he said he's havng trouble finding an associate and he's giving me a month's notice because he won't be open six days a week.

It's actually illegal for him to fire me for medical reasons but I don't think I'll, say anything to the labour board. If that's how he feels I'd rather leave anyway. And I don;t blame him for feeling like he does. There's only me at the front so it's a real hardship if I'm not there but he had said that he'd get a temp in if I needed time off and then he never did. The hard part is that he's completely unapologetic and seems to want me to feel guilty. He said things like "I don't need someone working for me who I never know if they're going to come to work or not". Which is very hurtful. And I gave him several day's notice. I really don't need him to make me feel badly about myself. Before cancer I was one of those employees that never took a day off sick. I'm trying to tell myself not to let his words hurt me but it's very hard not to let it make me feel damaged and useless again. I already feel like less than a normal person and he's just underlined that fact.

Anyway, that being said, he's my dilema. I'm supposed to get a stent put in my urethra in May because of the adhesions from the cancer surgery pinching off one kidney. They're not even sure it's not too late at this point and one kidney isn't too far gone. So they want to try it and see if it helps. My ong, my family docotr and my surgeon have all said that I can live on one kidney and don't seem concerned if the one is already dead. Of course, the kidney guy (urologist?) wants me to do it. The I found out that I'd have to have it done every 4 nonths and take a few days off because I'll be incontinent for a couple of days. So now that this has happened I'm thinking I'm not going to do it. I really don't want to go through the procedure and every four months? I'll lose another job! But I also worry that if I let the one kidney die without at least trying to save it I might regret it later. Crap, I hate this cancer garbage. It was bad enough to start with, why does it have to keep giving me problems and also have come back again in my lung? I need to work! The new chemo I'm on is not bothering me at all, by the way, but I have to go every three weeks to see my onc. Once again, I'm a bad employee for missing time. Dammit, I'm so angry at myself. I hate being this way and I'm having a hard time feeling tough and not like a victim.

Jan   

ron50

Hi Jan

            I'm Sorry everything is going pear shaped for you. I know what it is like to be uptight with work. My situation is the other extreme. I am 67 ,physically stuffed but my boss will not let me retire. The business I work for has been running non stop for nearly 60 years. I have been there for 40 years. They are using what I consider emotional blackmail. I ve been told several tmes now if I retire she will have to shut the shop..It is hard , I want to retire but I don't want to let down the old clients..  As far as the kidneys are concerned. I have severe nephrotic syndrome (auto-immune) of both kidneys. Untreated I lose 8+ grams of protein a day thru my urine. The treatment is cyclosporine twice a day. It is a transplant grade immuno- suppressant and the downside is that it leaves me open to cancers. My skin cancer doc actualy said that if a heart transpalant patient survives for over two years , they are most likely to die from some form of skin cancer. It is most likely why I have developed 4 polyps from 4-11 mm in 3 years since my last scope. I have to see my skin cancer doc in three weeks. He spotted one on my upper chest that he thinks is a squamous cell carcinoma. He will biopsy and probably excise it. I then have to go on 3 monthly skin checks . We are sort of between a rock and a hard place. Renal failure is unpleasant ( I suffered from peripheral and pumonary oedeema before cyclosporine). Trouble is cancer is just as bad. I had a heart scan before my last scope. The aneathnatist said my heart was running like a cheap watch. Perhaps that will be my best option. Hugs Ron.

Canadian Sandy

I'm so glad the xeloda is not

I'm so glad the xeloda is not bothering you. Sorry to hear all the other stuff though. Keep strong Jan!

 

 

JanJan63

Thank you! I just wish I

Thank you! I just wish I could come up with a decision on this kidnet thing. I don't want to jeopardize a future job by having to miss time on a regular basis and I'm not thrilled about having another treatment that's going to be nasty and unpleasant. And I keep thinking about how I didn't want to do the mop up chemo that almost killed me and how I didn't listen to my gut instinct. But if I hadn't, now that I have mets I'd be kicking myself for not doing it. Crap, I hate making decisions like this. I really do not want to do the kidney thing but I also don't want it to die.

Thank you both for taking the time to read my post. I'm so upset these days and I'm beyond tired of cancer affecting my life in so many ways.

Jan

traci43

many people live on one kidney

Jan - not sure how I would play this as many people can live for years with one kidney and be fine.  Others really need the second one.  I think you need to go with your gut on this one.  You had mentioned previously about applying to a larger office so that the practice would have others available to step in,  To me that sounds like a good idea, regardless of whether you want to save the kidney or not.  Be honest, we all have issues whether it's child care, an ageing parent, or our own illness to deal with.  find an employer that is more sympathetic.  Good luck to you, Traci

PhillieG

Tough spot

I doubt your boss takes pleasure from letting you go, it seems like it was a business decision. That doesn't make things any easier for you. I'm not in your position so keep that in mind. One can live on one kidney, I would want to know if it's too late to save it or not. Maybe they can't tell you that with certainty.

We did speak offline about photography, have you considered getting back into that? You could have more control over your work hours. It's just a thought.

I'm glad you're doing okay with the chemo but it stinks that you have to deal with the other stuff.

Phil

JanJan63

Thanks Traci and Phil. I've

Thanks Traci and Phil. I've pretty much decided that I'm not going to do the kidney thing. I've been talking to people and looking it up and I hope I don't regret it but at this point I've just had enough poking and prodding and treatments. Every time I have to do something more it makes me feel less human and more broken and I'm tired of it. And doing the stent won't make me feel any better so why bother. As you said Traci, many people have only one anyway.

Phil, thanks for the idea. At this point I'm going to keep job hunting but maybe that's something I could look into. As for my boss, I totally understand what he did but it makes me angry that he's been trying to avoid looking like the bad guy.

Anywa, thanls for the thoughts and opinions everyone! I have made my decision and my kidney is going to just have to sink or swim.

Jan

mokomapa

Job Offer

Jan,

Sorry to hear about you job and kidney problems.  You certinally deserve a break.  Hopefully good fortune is in your future.  If you want to commute to the States I'll keep a job open for you.  

Stay strong!

Tom

JanJan63

mokomapa said:

Job Offer

Jan,

Sorry to hear about you job and kidney problems.  You certinally deserve a break.  Hopefully good fortune is in your future.  If you want to commute to the States I'll keep a job open for you.  

Stay strong!

Tom

Hi Tom! How are you doing

Hi Tom! How are you doing these days? The kidney is no longer an issue, I decided to just let it go. I don;t want to start a new job and have to miss any more time than necessary after what just happened. As for the job, I have some possible options. I might go back to being a dental technician like I used to do or find another dental office. The n ice thing with being a tech is no evenings or weekends. Some of the dental offices here are even open on Sundays. It's nuts.

Or I'll take you up on your offer and come and work for you! Probably only about a five hour flight each way, no problem!

Jan