Last day!! Now what?

CivilMatt said:

ringing the bell

MMD,

Pick up your diploma, give your mask to the homeless and print this chapter as done!

It is true; many of us feel a true kindness toward our rad and chemo oncologists and their support team.  I still like to see my rad onc very much.

Forget the old normal and embrace your new normal.  My new normal loves cookie dough ice cream.

Best of luck,

Matt

Matt, you were one of the first people to respond to my thread. Every time you respond to something I put I fell like I'm talking to the guru of the H&N forum. I relish your advice and words. Thank you for being so kind and truthful and real. 

AnotherSurvivor said:

Yours is a very common

Yours is a very common reaction, and your questions and concerns are healthy and normal.  You are also very lucky - you have found csn.cancer.org and the people who will answer your questions are amoung the most experienced in the world.  I did not find this site until 4 treatments from the end, but it has been a go-to every day since then.

I suspect you will find your oncols will not be as attentive now.  That is as it should be, they have others in greater need, but it can be a little unsettling.  Know that while treatment is pushed, hard, and the schedule all consuming, recovery is SLOW.  Some gains come quickly, especially some of the most important ones, others take far longer.  I expected to be 'normal' within two months.  Today, at four months I am gratefully healthy, feel fantastic at times, but know that some of my side-effects will take a year or more to resolve.  I also know I am luckier than some because I have realistic prospects that my side-effects WILL eventually resolve, and the average day is good enough.

Congrats, now start the count-down to NED.

I am so glad that you're feeling more and more like you. I know my husband is looking forward to that feeling. We know to be patient because that will be a slow process. But we are ready for our new beginning. 

Captain Australia said:

Alumni

It's great to be done with treatment.

One thing to be watchful for:  I've actually read that some patients get hit with depression in the first weeks following treatment.

Why ?

Well, the first weeks AFTER treatment are actually worse for most (in terms of human suffering), because of the profound insult the body has suffered, all the damage and inflammation means pain, vomitting, constipation, nausea, water retention, all problems actually INCREASING in severity rather than getting better.

So you feel elated "oh thank God, it's over!", and then discover that it's not.  (the 8 weeks following treatment are an ordeal, for some longer, some shorter, but I'd average it at 8 weeks).

Also, you're used to daily having these nurses, doctors, radiologists, technicians fret over you, ask how you're doing, show kindness and concern .. and suddenly that daily pattern is gone.  Yes, you've got your loved ones, but somehow it's not the same .. over the treatment phase you've become a little bit 'institutionalised', and with that cycle over, you're now floating adrift in the river rather than having other people steer the boat for you.

Lastly, you don't know if you're actually cured or not.  You have to wait 3 months in limbo (but not the cool dance), until you can have a clearance scan where they will hopefully tell you "NED" (no evidence of disease).  Until then, you have all these side effects and problems, and to compount it all .. you just don't know if it worked or not.

I don't mean to be a downer, just to remind you that your hubby is going to need continuing support and understanding for a while (and anyone reading this going through the same thing might also manage their expectations).

Sorry, honestly and sincerely don't meant to take a "pop the party balloons" tone or approach, just thought it was important to offer the perspective.

He won't be a cancer alumni until he's been disease free for five years after diagnosis .. I think that's the commonly accepted measure for a 'cure'.

I appreciate your honesty.  I just want to kind of marinate in the good righ now and remember that every person is different.  I know that we have to go through the first scan and that will  be scary.  But, right now I am just proud of my husband for going through this pretty heavy ordeal.  I am proud of me for supporting my husband the best way I know how and I am proud of us for doing this together.  

Grandmax4 said:

Wonderful News

My husband ( caretaker) took the first week after treatment off work, I slept in a big recliner, had all my necessities right within arms reach. He gave me a bell, in case he was in the back of the house, but, that didn't last long LOL. He went back to work and I was on my own, loved it, after constantly having people around me, I was ready for peace and quiet. Best of luck , and congratulations to you both...being abi-normal is really kind of fun

 

Thank you so much!  I think he will welcome some peace and quiet but he is also so ready to be back at his school and surrounded by his school family.