Trying to cope with my dad's cancer..

Doctors cannot predict time til death except when using hrs or days.  I was 77 when dxed as stage2/3.  This summer I will be 85! LOL  It may be a bumpy road, but cancer can be beat.  Take it a day at a time and perhaps your father will outlive me.  Best of luck!

Trubrit has given some amazing advice. Her words were exactly what I needed this morning. I'm also the oldest in the family, trying to help my dad and my family deal with his cancer diagnosis. He was diagnosed with stage 2 back in 2011 and then with a local recurrence and peritoneal carcinomatosis last year. My dad is also the rock in our family so it's been very difficult. However, eventually you get used to this new normal and it gets easier to deal with. Keep yourself busy with things you can enjoy and if you find that there isn't anything you enjoy then find someone to talk to. Like Trubrit says, no one knows how long your dad will live. There have been many advances in the treatment of colorectal cancer and immunotherapy shows great potential. Maybe your dad will be able to benefit from new treatments. In the meantime, joining a forum like this where you can get great advice for you and your dad is a good place to start. Try to stay positive not only for your dad, but for yourself too. One day at a time has worked for me throughout this journey so far. Good luck, and I hope things get better for your dad very soon.

One of the dr's I saw "gave me" a maximum of 5 years.  I'm here - several surgeries and treatments later, but I have an excellent (normal) quality of life, and plan to stick around a lot longer.

Alice

Dear GTHOJO8, I was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer several years ago. I know the fear

and unrest your are feeling. I am sorry you and your family are going through this, but let me assure you there

is hope. I am living proof of that hope. I was so moved by my experience that I wrote my story entitled

"How I Beat Stage Four Colon Cancer." If you would care to read it, my story is on my blog. I hope you find

much peace and rest from my experience. God bless you and your family in this journey. blessed39

I feel so bad for you! I honestly think it's harder on the caregivers than the person who has it. I hate that I have it but I'm glad it was me and not my husband. I'd be a wreck with worrying about him. And I couldn't have done some of the things for him that he's done for me. I'd have been physically unable or just have been too freaked out. He's changed my adult diapers when I was paralyzed in the hospital, he was the first one to change my ostomy bag when I came home from that surgery, he had to lift me out of the bathtub when I was out of the hospital but still unable to get out myself, he's given me the Heparin shots, there's lots more. The worrying would have been the worst, though.

Like my surgeon says, they're coming up with new treatments all the time so if we have a few years there's still a good chance of something new to deal with it. And as we always say on here, unless his doctor is going to show up with a gun they can't say how long he has. The best thing you can do is be supportive and try to help him not sink into despair. Negativity is the enemy of health. There are plenty of stories on here of people who have totally defied the odds and are living well or living with their cancer. I think that's an important thing to think about. We often assume that a person's cancer has to be gone for the to sutvive it but many people have it and survive because it's kept under control. My oncologist says that's how I'll likely be. I'll live with my cancer as other people live with things like arthritis or things like that.

My best to you dad. And to your family and you. This is such a difficult time and I hope you will find that it brings you all closer together.

Jan