New to board: stage 1B vulvar cancer

Thanks for the encouragement, notime and editgrl.  

I came home Sunday afternoon and am on bed rest.  The surgery lasted about six hours, but from what the attending doctor said, the cancer was completely removed, and the lymph nodes were free of cancer.  There is a lot of home care to keep up with, but I have not been in much pain.  The surgical area smarts a bit where the sutures are, and the incision for one of the lymphadenectomy drains is leaking a bit.  But overall, progress is all right.  My follow-up appointment with the gynecological oncologist is next week.

I think the psychological aspects are harder for me right now.  I can't force myself to actually look at the surgical area.  In a way, I feel incomplete, as if I am now somehow "less" than before, when I had one thing that identifies me as a normal, functional person.  Don't get me wrong, I am glad that the cancer is gone.  I just wish I understood why I got it.  And I remain hopeful that I can feel whole again.

Love to all.

Sorry for the delay in response.  I've been spending most of my time either in bed or at a doctor's office.  Even though I'm not ready to go back to school for substitute assignments yet, I think I'm making steady progress.  An aunt was nice enough to send $50 for Christmas, another aunt brought dinner over, and a teacher friend made a big batch of penne pasta for us.  

Fortunately, I was able to get one of the lymph drains taken out this past Tuesday, but Dr. K (the gynecologic oncology fellow) agreed with me that the other one's not ready to come out.  I'm starting to get some painful lymphedema in that leg, but Dr. K said that was to be expected, and should be OK once the drains are ready to be removed.  I see him again next week to check on the drain, and then I go for my first appointment at the radiation oncology clinic.  Dr. K's great, but I do wish a visit to the gynecology clinic didn't always take upwards of four hours.  

I still have trouble coming to terms with the idea that I'm "incomplete," but my brother reminded me that I never have to think about what I'm missing except when I'm alone.  Mastectomy patients, meanwhile, are reminded every day because they see the results and get stared at.  I hadn't thought of it that way until he said that.  But my brother's great.  He usually takes me to my appointments (he works nights), but I was able to get a ride from the ACS for the radiation appointment.

Many, many thanks again for all the kindness, love, and care.  I'm touched and humbled.

Vajayjay, it's great to meet you.  You have a PM.  

I had my first visit to the radiation oncologist (Dr. A) today, and I feel...lost.  He didn't know why I was there, and I didn't know why I was there.  Reassuring....no, really.  He had to call the doctors on the surgical team to find out.  Unfortunately, he told me there has been no definitive answer to the question of how beneficial this treatment is for only one questionable lymph node.  He showed me both pros and cons, but told me it was ultimately my choice.  If I do go through with it, I'll have 25 days of treatments:  5 weeks, 5 days per week.    

So I'm going to talk to the gynecologic oncologist (Dr. K) next week and find out how many more appointments he thinks I'll need at that clinic.  Once I get a better idea, I'm most likely going to go through with the treatments.  Dr. A stressed that right now, radiation therapy is a precaution, to prevent any recurrence.  He does want me to get something done about the huge swollen mass that's developed.

Right now, I'm trying to think of everything as just another step on this journey.

Sorry for being away and not communicating more.  I do appreciate everyone's warmth and caring.  This is my first week of chemotherapy and radiation therapy, and I am already starting to feel fatigued.  Fortunately, I have only mild chemotherapy once per week, and the radiation oncologist is optimistic about my chances with the daily radiation therapy, since we're focusing on caution and prevention.  So far, everyone has been good to me, and we even get to enjoy hot beverages from the Keurig coffee maker at the radiation oncology clinic.  Tonight my aunt bought burgers because I've been in some minor pain.  

One thing that concerned me is that the cancer is now stage 3A instead of 1B, but I had to dig through my medical records to find out, since no one told me directly.  But my brother was kind enough to buy me an aromatherapy teddy bear to take to chemo.  It's just a reminder that I'm not alone.

I'm just glad to be in good hands with a radiation therapy team that specializes in female cancer.

Thanks again for all the support, ladies.

Thanks so much for checking up on me.  

My third week of chemotherapy/radiation therapy went pretty well.  The radiation oncologist said he's optimistic about my chances, since we're all approaching things from a standpoint of caution and awareness.  One of my cancer sisters at the clinic came up to me unexpectedly and just held me in her arms, wishing me well.  It felt good, and I told her we'd hold hands and crawl together to the finish line.  Everyone at the radiation oncology clinic has been good to me, from the medical team to the reception staff to the valets who park our vehicles for free.  I feel fortunate to be shown so much concern during this leg of my cancer journey.  I'm meeting courageous and kind women in the ladies' dressing room, and it's making me hopeful.

So far, I haven't had much of a problem with nausea or most of the other side effects.  I'm just tired most of the time.  During my weekly talk with the radiation oncologist, he was less than delighted with some 'yucky stuff' he saw during his examination.  Fortunately, he said I just need to use Neosporin and really focus on getting the area clean every time.  So I'm going to take his advice and see how it looks next week when talk to him. 

I also talked to the social worker at his office this week, and it was a productive meeting.  She gave me a lot of useful information, and told me I should have no trouble getting at least some of the financial assistance available out there.  So I've been following up with some of the places she mentioned.  Fingers are crossed.  One made me feel especially hopeful for some reason.  It's called the St. Vincent de Paul Ministry.  My radiation oncologist's middle name?  Vincent de Paul.

Aloe vera water sounds interesting.  I could definitely use something for the redness and the swelling, and natural remedies do sound better.

Much love to all of you, my sisters.