My cancer has spread!

camul
camul Member Posts: 2,537
in Breast Cancer #1

I had scans September 6th and my CT showed no cancer in lungs or liver, body can showdown Osteo Blastic Tumors, that were growing.  I had a brain scan on September 27th, along with chest x-rays.  I had radiation for the spread of the cancer to my brain, and this was telling follow up.

There was no change 10 rounds of radiation and the cancer was still there.  My tumor markers went up 300 points I 3 weeks so we knew it had become aggressive.  I thought the brain scan was the bad news, I was wrong.  They did the chest x-rays and repeated them, said it wasn't clear.  

When my oncologist called, he said I went from a 100% clear scan 3 weeks earlier to both lungs now being fully consumed with cancer.

I start on hospice tomorrow, and am OK with it. It is now time.  I am out of options, My last pain dr. Is the director of the hospice I chose, my oncology I'll continue to be my attending oncologist, and the pain Dr who put in my pain pump in May, works with the director for pain management. 

I am so fortunate to be able to keep all of my doctoand they are not changing  any meds, unless I need a bump up.  I am very happy it has turned out so well with the doctors.

I have had people ask me why I don't go to a hospice center or nursing home?  That I am burdening my children, they told me absolutely not, I can't figure out why friends think they know what is best????  I

Hugs to all and I wish I had better news, but it has been a long hard ride, yet I feel so blessed!

Carol

 

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Comments

  • cati0314
    cati0314 Member Posts: 203
    #2
    Good morning

    Hi Carol,  I am so proud of you.  You are a beacon of hope for the courage I wish I  posessed.  Please know that my heart is with you at this difficult time.  

     

  • Clementine_P
    Clementine_P Member Posts: 518 Member
    #3
    Strength and poise

    that is what you represent to me.  You have dealt with ever blow that cancer has dealt you with strength and poise.  How I wish this wasn't happening to you.  I am inspired that you are in peace with your decision to start hospice now - nobody knows better than you when the time is right.  Having all of your doctors around will be a comfort and I wish you continued strength and peace.

  • tufi000
    tufi000 Member Posts: 745 Member
    #4
    Dear Ninja

    Just want to add to our inspiring communications...

    You are about CONTROL!!!!

    You have done it for yourself and have and continue to show the rest of us this important key to making the best of things and still have a life.

    Still hoping you get to that ziplione!

    Sherry

  • peony
    peony Member Posts: 306 Member
    edited October 2016 #5
    The tone of your post is so

    The tone of your post is so calm and assured. I can only hope that i would be the same if I were to have that prognosis. I thought about this poem and though it's very popular, thought I'd share it.

    She Let Go

    She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

    She let go of the fear.  She let go of the judgments.  She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.  She let go of the committee of indecision within her.  She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

    She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go.  She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go.  She let go of all of the memories that held her back.  She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.  She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

    She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.

    She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.

    No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

    There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.

    In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

    ~ Rev. Safire Rose, via Lightworkers World

     

  • aisling8
    aisling8 Member Posts: 1,627 Member
    #6
    Oh, Carol

    I want to scream, "No."
    Instead I'll say, "You're forever in my heart."

    Love, 

    Victoria

  • lintx
    lintx Member Posts: 697
    edited October 2016 #7
    Carol

    All of us who know you on this board, love you!  You've shown everyone courage and such a positive attitude.  I only wish I could be half the person I've come to know in you.  I wish you peace.  Big hug, Linda

  • Sasu
    Sasu Member Posts: 39
    #8
    Peace

    I have admired your strength for some time.  You have truly blessed the world with your presence.  

    Peaceful journey.

    Sue

     

  • Iris_G
    Iris_G Member Posts: 50 Member
    edited October 2016 #9
    Carol

    You listen to your family and not your friends!  My brother-in-law passed on April 1st from pancreatic cancer.  When it came time for him and my sister to bring in hospice, my sister adamantly informed all of them there was no way John would be passing anywhere else but at home!  I hope to be at peace as you are when my time comes. 

    Iris

  • 1surfermom
    1surfermom Member Posts: 396 Member
    edited October 2016 #10
    Carol

    You have handled this whole situation with such dignity and grace. I am in awe of your perspective on life and all of it's challenges. May you be surrounded by the strength and love of your boys as you continue with your new path. Love surf.

  • Teach76
    Teach76 Member Posts: 354 Member
    #11
    Carol

    You have shown all of us to follow your heart.  Being with family is the BEST choice.  Whether our time is one week, one year, one decade, or a century, we will always have our family memories.  Sending prayers for God's peace to surround you!

  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #12
    YOU, Miss Carol are my HERO

    my admiration-❤️ and LOVE to you.  May your days be sprinkles with magic, Peace and loved from your 2 sons.

    Thank you for your commitment- dedication- -and Support.

    You will always be a part of me, who I am .. and in my Life.

     

    vicki Sam

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #13
    hugs

    hugs

  • Apaugh
    Apaugh Member Posts: 850 Member
    edited October 2016 #14
    Peace

    I am praying for you to have peace of mind and comfort.  And for your family as well.  Hug

     

  • Puffin2014
    Puffin2014 Member Posts: 531 Member
    edited October 2016 #15
    prayers for you

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  • jennytwist
    jennytwist Member Posts: 896
    #16
    Love & gentle hugs......

    ...to hold you close.  Know you are loved beyond measure!

    Peace & love to your family

    Jenny

  • twnkltoz
    twnkltoz Member Posts: 169 Member
    edited October 2016 #17
    Sending you all the hugs and

    Sending you all the hugs and love. You and your family know what is best, and your friends should respect that.

  • ppurdin
    ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181 Member
    #18
    Prayers

    I would do what makes you happy.And your family is with you.Thats what matters.love and Prayers.

  • tufi000
    tufi000 Member Posts: 745 Member
    edited October 2016 #19
    You KNOW!

     

    NINJA !!!!!!

     

  • Pixie Dust
    Pixie Dust Member Posts: 424 Member
    #20
    Awesome you are !!!

    Carol, no one knows when God is going to take us home but himself. Your journey in life may be a long one. We all hope so. Spend your days enjoying your family. You sure have put joy in all our hearts.  This angel is for you.   Innocent      Hugs, Pixie Dust

  • Rhea2
    Rhea2 Member Posts: 8
    #21
    Dear Carol, You have made the

    Dear Carol, You have made the decision which is best for you and will enhance your life. It is good you are planning to enjoy he highest quality of life possible. God and the universe can bring peace and satisfaction. It  sounds as if you found or been blessed with this.  You seem to have a sweet spirit.  Blessings and good thoughts are being sent your way. 

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