Mom with cancer - question about kids

Yeah really, joy. I mean that.

There are many here with a stage IV diagnosis who are survivors many years. I'm a fairly young one, with two years under my belt, and you will see others here several years out. So yes indeed, there is hope and joy. 

If you are allowed to take your children into treatment with you, then I see no reason why not. Well, there are a few reasons, one if they are sick, and the other if you feel they couldn't handle it. You certainly sound like you have a handle on the situation, and are the kind of person who would not take them in if they were sick or couldn't handle it. 

I don't know how your Chemo room is set up. I've been in both open rooms and rooms with partitians. If it is an open room, you might want to consider if other patients would find children in the room a tad uncomfortable. Also, if you have someone else along with you, that can take them out now and again, as treatment is usually a long haul. Well, it was for me.

Anyway, I would say go for it, if you have the all-clear from the chemo nurses. 

Good luck as you move into the next stage of treatment.  

How many liver mets do you have and what size?  I had one, and it was 2.2cm. I had mine thermally ablated just over two years ago and so far so good. It is ALLOT less invasive than a resection, but has restrictions, like size of tumour and position. Its worth looking at all options though. 

I hope you pop back and let us help you through this trip into the world of Cancer. 

P.S. I just read back on my post. When I say 'young one' I meant in the Cancer world. I am in fact an 'old one' in the real world. 

SUE

I think taking them would be a great idea. Kids (and adults) have a tendancy to imagine things are much worse than thery are when they don't know what's going on. They probably sense that this is a scary thing even if you haven't shared that with them.

I'm uncomfortable with your doctor's diagnosis of being terminal. Unless something else gets us first this will probably be what kills all of us eventually. But we can't live forever, it's got to be something. I had lymph node involvement which made me a stage 3 but have since had lung mets which still makes me a stage 3 but in my mind that's stage 4. I expect to be around for a long time. At the moment my colon cancer seems to be dealt with and the lung mets have been radiated to oblivion. Sure, it could crop up somewhere else but it also might never do that. Who told you that you're terminal? Was it your family doctor or an oncologist? It seems kind of early for a medical professional to make a statement like that. 

I hope you'll be treated and will deal well with the treatments and will have a great outcome.

Jan

Wanting and willing to fight and trusting the treatment and the people who treat you is more than half of the success. So you have a pretty good chance.

The reaction of children especially teenagers can be very different from strong support through complete break down( least likely) to indifference. Don't be surprised if you get one of these. We adults need a long time to learn to deal and live with this, they probably need even more. Watch their reaction and keep reinforcing them and yourself that everything will be ok. 

Wish you all the best,

Laz

Momma with a Bentley said:

So glad I decided to share

Thank you everyone for your comments and feedback. 

The word terminal was used by my oncologis. Gave me 6 months without treatment and an average of 2 years with treatment. Meaning 50% of parients won't make 2 years and 50% will surpass 2 years. That was how it was worded to me, and those stats only applies IF surgery on my liver is possible. 

As for the kids. I have spoke to the doctors and the clinic and they would be happy to have them (not for the full 4 hours but for a bit). Because I have shared my journey with their school, we will be skyping with their class to help show them what chemo looks like for me. I love the idea that we can share, learn and talk openly about this process every step of the way. 

YOU are not a stat. Totally ignore them. I can't emphasize how far a positive attitude can take you. Its a personal thing, none of us can tell you how to get there, but with your young children and the man in the picture who I presume is someone very special, I bet you have plenty to live for. 

And, I'm not saying that you life may not be shortened because of this disease; but 6 months, 2 years, they are just numbers. 

I do hope that your liver mets can be surgically removed. You might want to look into getting a second opinion from another Oncologist. You may be surprised with the results. 

Stick around. You can join those of us who are living beyond the stats. 

SUE

What a great idea about skyping with the children's class! You never know, you might insoire one of them to be a nurse or doctor or find the cure for cancer! One of the things they say on this site is that a doctor can't tell you how long you have unless they're planning to come to your door and shoot you after the alloted time. And staying positive is the best defense. Your body's ability to fight will be depleted by negative thoughts, it really does affect our immune system. You give me the impression you're a fighter, though. The liver does regenerate itself to a certain extent so I'm hoping surgery will be an option or ablation or something that will help. Then prove the doctor wrong and live long and live well!

Jan

Trubrit said:

Welcome to the forum of hope and joy

Yeah really, joy. I mean that.

There are many here with a stage IV diagnosis who are survivors many years. I'm a fairly young one, with two years under my belt, and you will see others here several years out. So yes indeed, there is hope and joy. 

If you are allowed to take your children into treatment with you, then I see no reason why not. Well, there are a few reasons, one if they are sick, and the other if you feel they couldn't handle it. You certainly sound like you have a handle on the situation, and are the kind of person who would not take them in if they were sick or couldn't handle it. 

I don't know how your Chemo room is set up. I've been in both open rooms and rooms with partitians. If it is an open room, you might want to consider if other patients would find children in the room a tad uncomfortable. Also, if you have someone else along with you, that can take them out now and again, as treatment is usually a long haul. Well, it was for me.

Anyway, I would say go for it, if you have the all-clear from the chemo nurses. 

Good luck as you move into the next stage of treatment.  

How many liver mets do you have and what size?  I had one, and it was 2.2cm. I had mine thermally ablated just over two years ago and so far so good. It is ALLOT less invasive than a resection, but has restrictions, like size of tumour and position. Its worth looking at all options though. 

I hope you pop back and let us help you through this trip into the world of Cancer. 

P.S. I just read back on my post. When I say 'young one' I meant in the Cancer world. I am in fact an 'old one' in the real world. 

SUE

 

 

Age is relative!!! To me you are just a kid.!!! LOL

Hello!  Terminal is in the eyes of the beholder.  Doctors have no right to predict who is going to live and who is not.  Fight the good fight and I think it's great to include your kids in your treatment.  I think not only will they benefit from seeing how hard you are working to stay here for them but it will benefit you to have them with you to remind you what you're fighting for.  You go girl!  Beat that cancer.  And I swear that brocolli sprouts are one of the reasons I'm still here.  My neighbor gave me a batch every week and I ate them on a peanut butter sandwich (because they taste gross) on 7 grain bread washed down with almond milk.  Please look them up.  I thought she was nuts when she told me but when I looked them up, I was suprised to see that they are a really serious cancer fighter.  They are included in Sloan's website.  Not brocolli, but brocolli sprouts.  Chew them really well.  Found in any Whole Foods type store.  

UncleBuddy said:

Hope...

There is always hope. I agree with what others are saying, with all the new chemo meds coming out, most doctors are treating stage 4 crc as a chronic condition. My brother's doctor told him it is treated similar to diabetes, it's something that you have to live with. She said he's 'LIVING WITH CANCER" NOT "dying from cancer " My brother is different than most others on this board because he had non hodgkins lymphoma in 2000 and was given really strong chemo meds for that. He beat NHL but it weakened his heart. Then he was diagnosed with rectal cancer in 2011 and had rectal surgery and did chemo and radiation. He has been on chmo since then, but unfortunately, his heart has become too weak right now for the chemo. At this point, 5 years after diagnosis and still feeling well, he has decided to stop chemo, feeling his heart will give out if he stays on it. I believe if he hadn't had the NHL in 2000 and was on the strong chemo cocktail, he's be around for many, many years to come. Please don't see your diagnosis as a death sentence. Maybe you should seek a 2nd opinion and go with an oncologist who wants to fight for you to live. Keep fighting and ignore the statistics. They are outdated and do not apply to all.

As far as your children handling being at your infusion visit, you know your kids best. If you think they can handle it, go for it.

Keep fighting!

Lin

I'm sure I've heard that expression 'Living with Cancer, not dying from Cancer' but when I read your post today, its like 'what?!! I like that! Why haven't I heard that before?'  

Maybe chemo brain erased it. But its back now. Thanks!

JessiB16 said:

Hello!

Hello I am new and this is my 1st post! I am a 34 year old mother of 2 with a diagnosis of Stage IV colon cancer with mets on my liver, lungs. 2 lymphnodes and abdominal tissue... I have had 3 rounds of chemo so far. I have just started getting on here to give me some hope as my diagnosis isn't the best either

I am sorry that you have a need to join us here; this diagnosis is the pits. 

Now that you are here, you will definitely support the and information you need to help you through this journey. 

Here is the forums home page http://csn.cancer.org/forum/128  please feel free to post an intoductory thread, so that members can welcome you. 

SUE

Trubrit said:

Chemo brain

I'm sure I've heard that expression 'Living with Cancer, not dying from Cancer' but when I read your post today, its like 'what?!! I like that! Why haven't I heard that before?'  

Maybe chemo brain erased it. But its back now. Thanks!

I love my brother's oncologist. She has such a positive attitude. I know she is disappointed that he doesn't want to stay on chemo. She was willing to try to adjust the dosages and try again, but my brother is tired and afriad that his heart will fail. 

I do believe most people on here are "living with cancer." Chemo is the manitenance needed like a diabetic needs insulin. That's how she explained it to him. 

None of us have a date of death stamped on the bottom of our foot, so a doctor saying a person is terminal this early in the game makes me question whether a 2nd opinion would be a better idea. The dr sounds like he's giving up before he's even started.