wish I knew

I wish I knew about this forum  a year ago. I am 30 years old. My dad died august 29 2014. Prostate cancer.... he was 53. It was always me and him. My mother left when I was 5 and died 6 years ago... my dad got diagnosed in june 2013. By the time we found it the cancer had already spread to all bones from knees up.... he went from doing everything to doing nothing in a matter of 8 months. I put my family business and life on hold to move in with him so he could stay at home on hospice. When the cancer got to his brain it was so hard. It wasn't my dad. He would say mean things to me. I miss him daily. Can't believe he's gone. I hate cancer....  I am married but my husband don't get it. He's never had a loss.... would like people to chat with... maybe give advice too.....