HPV from husband's affair

If I understand your statement you caught your husband having an affair.  The fact he has cheated on you makes his one question his truthfulness.  It might be time for you to re-evaluate your relationship with your husband. 

Mike

I can tell how hurt you are and how betrayed you feel. I do hope, however, that your marriage is one worth saving and that you and your husband come out the other side even stronger. Do not be too quick to throw out the baby with the bath water. Couples counseling is definitely in order no matter what you decide to do.

I am going to broach a topic that could be difficult. You may want to stop reading now.

Have you considered that your husband and your friend were telling you the truth? You say that you've been married for only 12 years. Does that mean that you had intimate relationships before you met your husband? If so, your infection may stem from your past and not his. Once one develops an HPV infection (exposure doesn't automatically = infection), it lasts about 2 years or so in most people, then resolves on its own. For ~10% of those infected, the virus doesn't clear; they retain HPV in their tissues where it can manifest as disease in the years ahead (decades ahead for anal cancer). Unfortunately, during that initial infection, most people are completely unaware that they are infected and unconsciously pass it along.

It's estimated that at least 80+% of adults in the USA have been exposed to HPV in their lifetimes. Fortunately, as Ms Martha pointed out, only a couple of the 100s of HPV types cause human warts or cancer. And the types that cause 90% of genital warts (#6 & #11) do not cause anal cancer. According to eMedicine in their genital warts article: "...you can have symptoms from 3 weeks to many years after infection."

There's a study that found evidence of genital wart HPV on the hands of test subjects. Wikipedia quotes sources that have found possible transmission of HPV through contaminated objects. Talk about the potential to spread the virus! Although they may help some, male condoms are unable to prevent the spread genitally. (Female condoms are somewhat better at controling spread, though far from perfect.)

Please try to resist the impulse to point fingers even though you are so hurt. HPV is an extrenched, ubiquitous part of the human condition. There's really no telling where you got your infection - did your husband gave it to you or you to your husband - and there's no telling whether your husband has ever been infected with HPV at all, even if exposed.

Be seen, get the warts cultured so you know what type you're dealing with, be treated, and make sure to stick to any follow-up schedule your MDs advise. Please be an advocate for the children in your family by encouraging vaccination with one of the HPV vaccinces (boys and girls). HPV cancers are one group we truly have a chance of eliminating! And as an anal cancer victim myself, I am very sorry to read that the woman you and your husband knew has died of the disease. Condolences all around.

Resources ---
* HPV and Anal Cancer Foundation, "HPV" - http://www.analcancerfoundation.org/learn/hpv/
* American Cancer Society, "HPV and Cancer: What is HPV?" - http://www.cancer.org/cancer/cancercauses/othercarcinogens/infectiousagents/hpv/hpv-and-cancer-info
* University of California at San Francisco, "HPV" (they mention HIV because they have a sub-specialty in treating anal cancer patients who happen to be infected with HIV; otherwise, the information still applies) - http://id.medicine.ucsf.edu/analcancerinfo/hpv/
* eMedicine, "Genital Warts (Human Papillomavirus)" - http://www.emedicinehealth.com/genital_warts_human_papillomavirus-health/article_em.htm
* National Center for Biotechnology Information: National Library of Medicine, "Detection of human papillomavirus DNA on the fingers of patients with genital warts" - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1758241/
* CDC, "Genital HPV Infection - Fact Sheet" - http://www.cdc.gov/STD/HPV/STDFact-HPV.htm
* Wikipedia, "Human papillomavirus" - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_papillomavirus

All the best.

So Many Tears,

It is the worst to be betrayed.  I went through the divorce from hell that was by trial and appeal that took 4 years.  Each situation is different and you have to evaluate everything and maybe your marriage can be saved. Mine could not and I have found that eventually forgivness was what allowed me to move on.  I debated on contacting my ex about my cancer because of the HPV aspect and eventually I did.   We were together for 26 years and there is a good chance that we both have HPV.  It cant be tested for in men or by a blood test I decided to tell him I have cancer and he may be at risk.  Just because you may have the deadly strains like 16, it doesnt mean you will get cancer, only certain people do.  I told him for a warning not to ignore any unusual symptoms in areas prone to attack because these rare cancers often mimic things like hemmoroids or sore throats and that the web has lots of resources on the subject.  One question I still dont know is if an old infection that has already produced cancer is still "active" and able to infect a new partner. I believe the virus is always in your body but HPV virus has cycles of dormancy and early in the infection the body can shed and clear the virus.  I had a PAP test before my cancer treatments and my test results were negative which is great, but I feel the opportunity was missed when my anal biopsy was not tested for HPV.  I was told that to do so is not routine.  My asumption is that the cervical test would not tell me anything about the tissues in the anus, which seems like common sense.  If my anal cancer is HPV related its just the site that it decided to attack.  The HPV virus that causes warts is not the one that  causes cancer.  You may not have any "deadly' strains, and even if you do your body may process them effectvely and prevent them from becoming cancer.  I have forgotten where I found a simple chart that tells you what HPV strain does what, it might have been the CDC....  The test I had screens for 13 of the worst and I had my OBGYN send me the actual report to know exactly which strains and what type of test.  I am concerned for my current boyfriend because while condoms can help they cannot prevent HPV infection it is a mucousal skin to skin type of thing.  If a person is young enough they need to be vaccinated and prevent this.   Your tears are a normal part of the process, our response to pain whether it is physical or emotional and if it helps just cry your eyes out!  You will find your way and what works for you, it just takes time. I wish you the best.

Shamayim

Stephen2 said:

Warts

Too Many Tears:  I was diagnosed with AC Sept., 2013.  The first question from the surgeon was did I ever have warts.  I said no but my exhusband did.  He found that very interesting.  It had been many years since my divorce but as noted above, the virus can live for decades in your body.  I was lucky, it was a Stage2 with no surgery.  I wish I knew what to tell you, for me I strongly suspect my ex as I had always been faithful with never so much as any kind of infection that could have caused this.  With the help and support of your family and friends you will get through this.  Right now I am confined to a wheelchair as the radiation caused neuropathy in my legs and I cannot stand up at all.  I don't know if I will ever be free of the wheelchair  but I consider myself lucky when I read some of these posts.  I wish you luck and please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.  Stephen2

 

....to hear about the neuopathy. What is your prognosis? All my fingers and toes are crossed!