Going flat after BMX

I am flat in my house and when walking dog in baggy clothe's,  going to water exercise class,  during water exercise class cuz I wear a regular bathing suit, and occasionally while dressed after class.  I ama size 8, tomboy look  and was only a A-B cup before.  The weird thing was before I  would often wear a undershirt or camisole w no bra, but now I do wear a mx camisole , bra or leisure bra w soft forms when I go out EVEN THOUGH  THE BRA CAUSES ME PAIN.  I think it's because I just don't want the looks and stares -not that I'm ashamed.  I just don't like to have to explain. 

cinnamonsmile said:

I was over weight when I had

I was over weight when I had my BMX. I had a larger belly and still chose to go flat.

I remember my first time out in a tee shirt with no breasts. I was terrified that they would all stare at me. I found out, that nobody cared, nobody stared. Most of the world is in such a hurry that they don't notice things like that. What I learned is that no one cares, no one noticed. (Even family members didn't make a big deal out of it). But in the 4 years since I have been flat, I have NEVER noticed anyone staring at my chest. I think they would stare more if I still had those big boobs.

If someone were to notice, I don't care. It's my body, my choice and I LOVE not having to wear a bra or those big breasts hanging around anymore!!!

There is another great website called breastcancer.org. I highly suggest to go there, join up, and post under the forum topic called, "Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy."  https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/82

breastcancer.org is set up a little differently than here in that in only serves breast cancer, not all cancers, so different topics of breast cancer are divided up.

I wish you the best with whatever you choose.

Cinn,   DITTO  !!!!

I leave "the girls" home more often than not.  It's become a running joke with my friends at work, church, or elsewhere.  There are ways to dress that make it easy to do this.  I remind myself that most of my contacts know me and what I have been through.  So, I don't worry about it, regardless of the season. Having double makes it very do-able because you aren't off balance, so it does not create back problems.

People rarely, if ever, notice anything missing.

alabama_survivor said:

Thank you, everyone. 

Thank you, everyone.  Thursday will be six weeks out from surgery, and that was following five months of chemo.  Today I started radiation.  BTW, I am stage 3C Triple Negative on one side, and non-invasive on the other.  I don't work, and didn't feel like doing much of anything during my chemo.  My blood counts were low, and hospitals were overrun with flu cases, so I didn't go anywhere during the month between chemo and surgery.  I am really anxious to get back to church and such.  I do go flat at home, but I am finding that when I go out, even the soft puffy forms are irritating when I wear them too long.  I honestly have been trying to get up the nerve to go flat when I leave the house, so I certainly appreciate all the feedback.

I had a right breast mastectomy in 2/2010.  I have also been fitted for prosthesis on several occasions since that surgery.

One observation from the woman that fits me has been that sometimes the remaining breast will, in effect, compensate for the loss of the other.  And for me, my remaining breast has become larger than the breast I lost.  I have become fed up with the struggle and discomfort of brassieres and the glandular substitute.  The one thing I noticed immediated after surgery while I still even had my drains in was that I would instinctively draw my arm up to cover my surgical area.  I don't know if it was for protection of the area or simply shyness.

I work as a classroom teacher and have chosen for the last couple of years to simply wear a jog bra to hold what I have left down and go about my workday lopsided.  I had planned to undergo a prophylactic procedure this past summer, but life happened and I am aiming to do it this year.  I have no interest in reconstruction, just in eliminating my lack of symmetry and rmanipulating a probability.

By the way, I too was stage 3 Triple Negative and am now 5 years out.

My take on this is:  Your personal comfort is what really matters, you can't and shouldn't concern yourself with pleasing anyone other than yourself.  I remember when it was an affront to go out in curlers...those times are long gone...I'd like NOT to see any woman's colorful brassiere beneath a revealing tank top, but they don't ask me how to dress.  

Take care of you and stay strong.

TraciInLA said:

4 weeks flat!

I had a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy with no reconstruction 4 weeks ago.  I know myself -- I'm far too lazy and low-maintenance about my appearance to fuss with prostheses every day, so I plan to just go flat most or all of the time.

I hit puberty at 8 years old, have worn a bra since I was 12, and had large breasts all my adult life.  I LOVE NOT HAVING TO WEAR A BRA FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 30 YEARS!!  Since my surgery, I've just worn my normal t-shirts to run errands, go to doctors' appointments, and my daily walks around my neighborhood.  

I'm finding that I truly don't care about not having breasts.  But I am overweight, and I'll admit I wasn't prepared for how the contrast between a flat chest and my belly makes my belly look that much larger.  I was really self-conscious about that for the first couple of weeks, but that's fading away as I'm starting to get my energy back and feel better and stronger.

I haven't returned to work yet (I'm a Human Resources Manager for a small, casual office), but am in the process of trying out some new work-appropriate clothes that draw attention away from my belly a little better:  Blouses that have interesting necklines, pockets, etc. to draw the eye upward, scarves, chunky necklaces, etc.

I know it's early days for me -- only 4 weeks out -- but I'm da*n proud of being a 6-year breast cancer survivor and my decision to be proactive about my health and have a mastectomy.  And I don't care if anyone notices!

Traci

Traci,

Hurrah for you!  I am so glad that you are starting to feel comfortable and secure about your body.  It takes time, hell, you have had your old body for many decades and this new one for just a few weeks, but in time you'll feel like it is your body again and not like you have pilfered someone else's.  For the record, I did have reconstructive surgery but a lot of people at work knew I was out and when I returned they were looking to see what went on with me.  I wore "statement" necklaces and scarves for those people that knew it was breast cancer so they could sneak a peak and then just compliment me on my necklace/scarf.  It really did the trick.  Plus, with this sub zero weather we are having here, I now have plenty of pretty silk scarves to keep me warm. 

You should be proud, Traci!  We are proud of you too.  Now, go get that coffee bigger than your head!

Best,

Clem

alabama_survivor said:

Traci, I am also overweight,

Traci, I am also overweight, and I have noticed how prominent my stomach is.  Today was six weeks since my double mastectomy, and I started radiation this week.  I normally go flat around the house, as I am still really tender from surgery, but I wear my post op cammi with the puffy forms when I leave the house.  Today, I did go flat when I went for my treatment.  I was wearing my coat, and I didn't take it off until I was in the changing room, but that was big for me.

I've also been thinking how surprised I was that seeing myself in the mirror and seeing all my scars hasn't bothered me.  I really have not thought of losing my breasts as a loss, but I've thought of it more as doing what I had to do to save my life. 

Odd person that I can be, I remember my first look down my front and commenting, "Wow!  Looks like I have a 'beer belly'!"  I was rather amused by that thought, as I do not drink. 

And it's true -- how to minimize that look, especially if you do not want to always or ever wear prosthetics.  I will say that clothing choices can help minimize that "look."  For me, that is trickier in the winter, as I live in NYS and it's cold.  I wear sweaters a lot, but usually it's a layered look and my sweater is not form-fitting.  The other "distractors" can be the knit pattern of the sweater or its look.  (I have a cardigan V-neck sweater that has penguins skiing down hills of snow.  I have two zip-up sweaters that have things embroidered or sewed on them that also create pictures.  Those sweaters I can camo myself fairly well.  I have one pullover that I need to get out the "girls" if I wear it, as I just feel better if I do.

I wear women's sizes in clothing, and so you know I am not small by any means.  I am just sharing what works for me.  I had this change in my life in 2012.  Bit by bit, I am figuring out what works for me and what I am comfortable doing/not doing.  A lot of that depends on where I am/where I am going.

Around my friends at work, I have occasionally asked them if they notice anything -- and they always guess wrong.  It always is one of those few times when I have worn my prosthetics.  People don't notice it as much as we do.  I think it takes some time to figure out what you are comfortable doing.  You might find yourself surprised as time goes by.

Hope this helps.

==================================

(I had a double mastectomy, followed by chemo and then radiation.  I came to school today wearing a red cable-knit sweater with a hood.  Under it I am wearing a black mock turtleneck with red birds on it.  I am not wearing "the girls" today, as I just did not want to bother.)

sweetvickid said:

Been flat since 5/2010.  Had

Been flat since 5/2010.  Had a special occassion got dressed up and wore my foobs.  Finally I had to mention it to my Mom and sister and they both said they hadn't noticed.  Never wore the dams things again.  I am really amazed at how the majority of the people never notice I do not have breast.

In yesterday's mail, I received my annual mammogram reminder, so called the mammography center to give them the bad news that they've lost me as a customer......I spoke with their supervisor, who I know well, as she held my hand through several biopsies and procedures when I went through treatment.

She told me a funny story about her sister, who also had a bilateral mastectomy with no reconstruction.  Her sister decided to "wait 6 months" after her BMX before deciding on reconstruction.  6 months went by, and then it was "well, the kids are in school, and we're so busy, I'll wait another 6 months."  And then another 6 months, and another reason to put it off, and and then another 6 months, and then another....  After several years, she finally realized that she was perfectly happy being flat.  It's now been 14 years, and she's still very comfortable with her decision.

BTW, I'm going back to work tomorrow for the first time since my surgery, and already have my outfit picked out:  A pretty new lavender sweater that fits snugly and makes no secret of the fact that I'm flat!  If anyone wants to look or make comments, let's get it out of the way on Day 1, and then move on!

Traci

my problem is I had tram flap reconstruction on the right side twenty years ago.  I'm scheduled to have the left breast removed on April 22. Wanted to just do a lumpectomy, but we just found out I'm BRCA2, so my doctors want the mastectomy to prevent another tumor in my Breast. since I'm Stage IV, i didn't see why I needed the mastectomy, but my husband and family want me to go with the mastectomy because anything that might keep me alive longer, they want. I'm not going to do reconstruction.  an implant wouldn't work because it wouldn't match the right side. I absolutely do not want to do the DIEP reconstruction. Too much recovery, etc. last time my surgery took 10 hours (they were having trouble getting blood flow). I would like to go flat, but from everything I've read, it might cause back problems since I'd be "lop-sided". The reconstructed side is only a C cup. I had Breast reduction surgery done on the side that's now needing a mastectomy at the time of the first reconstruction so that the girl's would match. I keep hearing that the bras and forms are uncomfortable. Anyone out there have positive experiences with prosthesis?

Gm2873 said:

Going flat

my problem is I had tram flap reconstruction on the right side twenty years ago.  I'm scheduled to have the left breast removed on April 22. Wanted to just do a lumpectomy, but we just found out I'm BRCA2, so my doctors want the mastectomy to prevent another tumor in my Breast. since I'm Stage IV, i didn't see why I needed the mastectomy, but my husband and family want me to go with the mastectomy because anything that might keep me alive longer, they want. I'm not going to do reconstruction.  an implant wouldn't work because it wouldn't match the right side. I absolutely do not want to do the DIEP reconstruction. Too much recovery, etc. last time my surgery took 10 hours (they were having trouble getting blood flow). I would like to go flat, but from everything I've read, it might cause back problems since I'd be "lop-sided". The reconstructed side is only a C cup. I had Breast reduction surgery done on the side that's now needing a mastectomy at the time of the first reconstruction so that the girl's would match. I keep hearing that the bras and forms are uncomfortable. Anyone out there have positive experiences with prosthesis?

Mine are fine.  My insurance pays for two bras plus inserts per year, if need be.  I had a script from my surgeon and went to a shop that specializes in this. It's by appointment. I had personal help.  I do not know how what I have and can do compare to mail ordering or other methods.

I don't wear mine a lot just because I don't always feel the need to.  Also I have rotator cuff problems from an old sports injury.  Back fastening is a bit of a challenge.

Puffin2014 said:

front hooking bras

desertgirl: I'd had rotator cuff surgery on the same side as my breast cancer and couldn't use back fasterning bras either. Our mastectomy shop had some very comfortable front hooking bras - have you tried any of those?

I was thinking of getting a new script from my med people, and that is something I planned to look into.

THANKS