Woman over 55 dilemma: Reconstruction or Not

tufi000 said:

Core issue

I was the same age for my final reconstruction.

The issue here though, is your self image.  I worked all through treatments in an executive mgmt position with no problem.  Remember that healthy women often mess around with their breasts all the time and the marketplace offers many options if you decide to not do it.

Unless your business trips involve nudist colonies and/or public baths, I would say this is a purely open decision. Looking wonderful is doable either way but I worry about your fragile self-image more and feel that is what needs the serious work.

Take your time and live in the present and all the best to you!

 

Sherry

Thank you, Sherry!  I agree with you and plan to have several visits to a counseler and my primary care physician between now and then.  Are you glad that you did it?

Cynthia

button2 said:

Hi there! I'm so sorry you were diagnosed with a new cancer. I was 46 at diagnosis and i got a radical single mastectomy with total lymph node clearance. I chose not to have reconstruction. I made a list of pros and cons and the only pro was my looks! Many things made me not want one, but I don't think your age should be a factor really, unless you're 70+. My cancer was very advanced and at the time, my surgeon said she wouldn't do the surgery with reconstruction. It was already a 5 hr surgery and I didn't want to stress my health with more procedures. Also the radiologist didn't want expanders during sessions. My surgeon did a skin saving technique so I could decide at a later date. Since then, I have decided not to have more surgeries. Why should I? My prosthesis is very well fitted and no one can tell. The reasons I don't want reconstruction are: Ordeal of at least two surgeries, trips every 10 days to get possibly uncomfortable saline shots into expanders, having a foreign body in my chest, difficulty of seeing new cancers with implants being in the way, possible leakage of saline, possible interruption of my strenuous exercise routine, respecting my husband's wishes that I don't do it (!), costs, lack of feeling in reconstructed breast, surgery on my "good side" in order to match the fake side. I just feel like I'm happy now and want to get on with my life. It's a shame you have low confidence and I hope you work on that with your therapist. Getting cancer has given me loads of confidence. I'm just plain tired of living life quietly in the wings. Now is MY time and I live life as I want (finally). I find myself using make-up and fashion now more than ever. That's what people see - a nicely made-up face and attractive outfits, not breasts. If you don't get reconstruction, you can choose any size prothesis you want. You need to learn about the entire plastic surgery solution, talk to surgeons themselves, look at photos of their work and make a careful decision. If you do go ahead, more power to you! Women should do what they are really comfortable with and not for society's expectations. Of course you are in the mad stage right now! Who wouldn't be? I hope I have helped you and not made your decision even more difficult. Take care and hugs, Anna

Anna,

Thank you for your story and encouragement.  You really gave me a few things to thing about.  The plastic surgeon says she can do the reconstruction at the same time and that I would not need expanders since I don't want as big of breasts a I currently have.  After your comments, I now know that if it can't be done in one fell swoop then I don't want it. 

Now I have to decide if it is really what I want if the can.  After reading all the literature and warnings on the way home last night (subway), I fear the same issues you mentioned.  I cried my eyes out last night because of what all I read.  My husband wants me to be happy but his preference is that I not do it.  I am not sure what I will decide but I appreciate your openness with your journey.

Thank you for responding.

Cynthia

Rague said:

I'm older than you.

I was 63 when DXd (68 now).  When I was DXd I decided I wanted recon but being IBC that was not an option for at least a year.  When that year was over, I was having second thoughts about if it was worth doing.  I was perfectly comfortable with myself and my prosthesis.  I had no limitations on what I could do but what if 'something' went wrong in surgery that would cause limits on my activities and I am very active.  So to me, the chance of being less able to ride my horses, swim, bike, mow, etc. wasn't worth taking.  So no recon and I'm happy with that decision.  Hubby was always there for me and was supportive when I thought I wanted recon but apparently he and adult Son had been talking and they were hoping I didn't do recon as neither wanted me to have unnecessary surgery but they never said anything negative to me until I said I wasn't doing it and that was that, then told me they were glad.

There are many styles, shapes, shades of prothesis so that you can look great and feel confident.  The right fit is important but a good certified fitter is important to get the right/natural looking fit.  If you are in a big town there should be Mastectomy Shops.  I live in a relatively small town and we do not have a Shop here but one of the Medical Supply stores has a Certified Fitter (only one in over 300 miles) and a room with the most common sizes.  I'm smaller than they keep on hand so when it's time for new bras and/or prosthesis, she orders in several and I try them on and get the ones I like and the others get returned to the manufacturer.  No reason for special clothes - wear what you like and are comfortable in.  Well bikini's might not be the best idea but tankini's work good for me.

Winyan - The Power Within

Susan

Susan,

I like the idea of post-poning the reconstruction so that I would have more time to determine what I could and could not live with.  Even though you didn't have a choice, it was good for you.  I may ask my surgeons about that idea. 

Thank you!

Cynthia

disneyfan2008 said:

tough decision for sure...I

tough decision for sure...I have only  had two lumpectomies on the same side. MY breast surgeon suggests each time PS-but I have had 12 surgieres (NOT cancer related in my life and I have a terrible phobia of stitches/ staples. So for that reason i have chosen to not do anything I DONT" NEED TO DO>

 

I am sure you will get suggestions from others here....

 

thinking of you

 

Denise

Thank you, Denise!

VickiSam said:

I had a bilateral -- my CHOICE

I decided on reconstruction ...why,  because breast cancer was not going to take away ANYTHING from me .. 

sure, I lost several years going thru chemo, multiple surgeries == and reconstruction... 

This is only my opinion --   My Body,  My Choice.

Happy with my decision,  and I would do it again in a heart beat.

 

Strength, Courage and HOPE for a Cure.

Vicki Sam   

   

Vicki,

Thank you so much for sharing your opinion.  I really appreciate hearing it.

If you don't mind me asking, how many subsequent surgeries were necessary and how far apart were they?

Thank you, again!

Cynthia

Lilly9 said:

I was 54 when I was

I was 54 when I was diagnosed.   

 

I had a bilateral mastectomy and opted for immediate reconstruction.   Knowing I had to endure chemo first, then surgery followed by radiation I didn't want to fool with having to make my clothes look nice on me or with prosthetics    I talked to my oncologist about it and he understood completely.   He referred to my plastic surgeon.  One of the only Dr's in this area that will place expanders at the time of the mastectomy, do the fills before radiation.   It went beautifully and I do not regret my decision at all.   Due to the fact that I had to have radiation I had to keep my expanders an additional 8 months before my permanent implants were placed.   I had that surgery this July, spent one night in the hospital and was back up and around feeling great within the week.    I love my results

 

I have not decided on the nipple surgery.  My Dr says there's no hurry - I can do it late this year - next year or never.   I may just opt for the tattoo  

 

I asked my husband for his opinion from day 1    All he said was it was my decision and he simply wanted me to feel good about myself and choices.

Lilly,

I like your attitude toward the whole process.  You didn't seem rushed to make decisions.  It lets me know that I need to slow down and breathe.

Thank you so much for sharing.

Cynthia

Marcia527 said:

No reconstruction

i was 52 when diagnosed. It was 2003. At the time my surgeon said I'd have to wait till after radiation. My tumor was large. I considered having it done a year after but my surgeon had retired and I didn't want to start with someone else. I only had a right sided mastectomy Plus removal of fifteen lymph nodes. I was at stage 3. 

Sometimes I regret not  having reconstruction. I look at everything I wear now with how or if the obvious shows. Mostly people don't look. I'm 64 now. I didnt have a false one made. It's up to you. I'm not working so that makes a difference. 

 

Marcia,

Thank you, Maricia.  I really appreciate the insight.  

Cynthia