I need help with my next fear in this process

CivilMatt said:

they won't let you choke

Shell,

I never liked mask time, but by taking 1 Lorazpam before treatment I came to find it interesting.  Also,  I had some oldies tunes to listen to.

Once, just as the techs left the room I threw my hands up and asked for a do over.  They  are very understanding and let me up to rinse and spit and get ready all over again.  Mind you this was one of my last weeks and I was at my worst.

Some pray, others count or dream.  It is a whole procedure you customize to yourself.

Good luck,

Matt

I had same op and started treatment 5 weeks later. They will monitor you v. Closely. They wont start unless they think you are ready. Good luck. Still chuckling about your joke to Polish aunt. G.

Hi Shell

Your throat will not close shut, It won't happen. You do not have to plan for this. The technicians are wonderful at what they do and take great care in preserving your safety. You will get through radiation without incident, guaranteed! When you woke up from surgery you had been under anesthesia. It is quite common to see any manner of demons while recovering from these effects. Radiation will not close your throat shut, period! This is a different event and you cannot connect the two.  Put this fear to rest today. That said this is a good time to ask for help, I was on mild anti depressents the whole time I was in treatment. They are not for everyone but I needed them. My mind worked similar to yours and some fears just crept in. The medication kept them under control. Your next steps while fearful are all doable and you can do this. Stay here and ask questions when needed. You will find great support here. Welcome to our community.

Hi Shell

I am my hubbys caregiver He lso had surgery first.... he had the surgery n the 8th of April.. he opted to wait untill the 2nd of July to start radiation as our daughter got married on the 12th of July and he wanted to be well enough tobe there.. He was a little swollen and had a 5 inch gash so painful .....it is scary i wish i could hold your hand ...talk to the drs about your fears they are great at putting them at rest.... hang in xo

Your fear is very real, but the likelihood of anything like that happening is zero. I was terrified of something like that happening to me, and I didn’t have even a hint of how claustrophobic I was until I went for the fitting of my mask. I don’t know if you’ll need to have it, but in addition to the mask, I had a stick type of device stuck into my mouth to keep my tongue in position, and plastic molds over my teeth, so swallowing was almost impossible. I convinced myself that I was going to vomit and choke to death on my vomit, or if I was lucky, I would just choke to death on my saliva. 

I was told I could be given tranquilizers if I wanted, but I really wanted to avoid drugs as much as possible. The hospital had a complementary medicine department where I went for a hypnotherapy session. It helped a lot. I made it through all 30 sessions without dying even once. A key element of the hypnotherapy was to focus on some place or scene that you found calming and relaxing, and to relax fully while visualizing yourself in that place. To a large extent it worked. I would go into the session nervous, and slowly my mind would drift away to a happier place (for me, it the was bike course of the Lake Placid Ironman race). I could picture myself flying down a mountain road, as one with my bicycle, and after a few minutes, I swore I felt the wind in my face. The noises of the machine as it shifted position would bring me back to reality for a few seconds, and each time it did, it served as a reminder that I was that much closer to getting out of the machine.

 I still hate and fear the machine, and get the creeps thinking about it, but this technique enabled me to get through it without drugs or incident. Only during one session, I did get a bit un-nerved, and raised my hand and they stopped, took me out of the mask, and allowed me to regain my composure before resuming treatment.

 You might look into the hypnotherapy thing, or some type of meditation thing, or if you’re not uncomfortable with drugs, go the tranquilizer route. Whichever way you go, bottom line is you’re guaranteed not to have your throat close up. Good luck. I’m sure you’ll do what you have to do and get through it. 

Don’t worry we are all afraid at times when going through this, just ask as many question as you can to the doctor or nurse attending you. Let them know of your fears and how you are feeling, a good doctor will sit down with you and explain the treatment and will be checking on you every day. Also for me when I am afraid I always pray, it gives me the strength and faith I need that I will get through this too.

Tim Hondo

Shell_7801 said:

Thanks Bart

You are correct, I am willing to do whatever it takes to get through this.  

A bike race at the Lake Placid Ironman Race sounds like quite the happy place!  Mine might be casting a line into the lake hoping for a fish!  

All of you are my hero's.  Not because you endured and survived this wicked thing but because after it was all said and done you stayed here on this forum to help people like me.  

Thank you

 

shell

I never had to have chemo or RAD's so I won't try to exp[lain it. I will say what my Mother always said,"God will not give you more than you can handle". I think he pushes a little hard at times, but you will handle it. 

Think about this: In a few months you will be here with the rest of us helping someone new go down the valley and fight the beast, just like you did.

Be at peace

Bill