I need help with my next fear in this process

Anonymous7/6/2023

I went into radio as the

I went into radio as the worst claustrophobic ever ever ever!

I came out cured of all my claustrophobia.

In fact, I got stuck in a lift a a couple of months later, and I didn't even feel anxious.

What I'm getting at is, at first it is scary, but by the end of week 1, it's not so scary, by the end of week 2, even less... And as time goes on, you do tend to achieve some weird sense of "this is normal".

My big fear, like you, was being unable to breathe. That did not happen. Not even close.

Things I thought about to keep my mind occupied, during radio:

• Cuddling small animals, like baby bunnies, in my lap
• Playing with my cats
• Floating on a lovely warm ocean on a sunny day
• Eating pizza
• When I ran out of stuff like that, I simply counted how many seconds each "beam" took, and, to be honest, that was the MOST help, because it reassured me that everything was going to plan, and I could tell myself, "halfway now, Tel", "last beam now", and so on...

They tell you they will run to you very quickly if you wave, if you need help. I actually tested this. They were with me unclipping me in like 2 seconds! And I think they knew I was just testing, and they did not mind, bless them. You could try this too - give them a test, I know they wont mind. It was really very reassuring.

You will get to the other side of this. There is another side, where treatment is finished and you can concentrate on healing, recovery and rebuilding.

BIG HUGS.

debbiejeanne

Shell_7801 said:

Which Oldie?

Which oldie was your favorite?  Ok, I'm slowly believing all of you.  I trust no one else.  My nurses were so nice and sweet but I didn't trust them at all because although they may be highly educated in what they know, they have never felt or experienced any of this.  All of you have and that's something I can trust.

 

My favorite oldies are Bob Segar and Patsy Cline.

 

Shell

shell, my fav, Bob Segar,

shell, my fav, Bob Segar, Trun the Page!!!  love it.  also love Patsy Cline.  i liked your joke too.  you will get thru this, promise.  just be sure you let them know what you are feeling and if anything changes.  you have to trust them as they are the ones treating you.  they will do right by you, shell.  and remember we are all here on the sidelines cheering you on!!!  when you get discouraged, just listen real hard and you will hear us yelling.  make a cd of Bob and Patsy to listen too during tx and it will go so fast you wont' have time to think about it.  hang in there shell, you can do this.

God bless you,

dj

donka

You'll do fine!

I'm sort of claustrophobic, but it's more a problem with feeling trapped or constrained than anything else.  I panicked on my first treatment, had to get them to take the mask off and let me cry for a minute until I felt better.  After that, they let my husband in the room and he would hold my hand until it was time for the rads.  Then they let him in the technician area and he would talk to me over the speakers the whole time.  It was so helpful just knowing I was being watched and that I wasn't all alone.  He would just say stuff like, "You're doing great honey.  Okay, we're over half way done..."  etc. 

Your throat won't close.  I know exactly what you're talking about as after a surgery my throat collapsed in the recovery room and I woke up to a table full of people standing over me telling me to breath and pumping me full of ventalin and stuff.  Scariest moment in my entire life.  That won't happen here.  I actually found radiation kind of peaceful after I got over the first 3 or so sessions and learned which clicks and beeps meant I was 1/2 way through etc.

KB56

Next steps

Shell, I think we all know what you are feeling and it is scary as hell.    The tonsillectomy was painful enough and all the ice cream in the world didn't help, and I'm sure the neck dissection only made it worse.   I had the tonsillectomy but not the neck dissection as they said it was too risky and the radiation/chemo would take care of it.    I started radiation 3 weeks to the day after the tonsillectomy and was worried as well as I had just started eating decent again.   I'm glad they are giving you six weeks as the radiation will make you neck feel like a bad sunburn and the longer the time you have to heal the less effect the surgery should have on the neck.

Like everyone else said, your neck won't swell shut, it may have felt like it because as you know the mind can play some serious tricks on us, especially when we start to panic a little.  I was OK with the mask, I would just put my mind somewhere else with my family, vacation, etc and you will get to know the noises of the machine and know when it's on it's last pass and you almost finished.  The radiation only takes about 10 minutes and it can be long for some and not so long for others but unpleasant for all.  

The good news is you seem like you have the best of care and are getting everything you need.   once you start treatment it will go fast when you look back, maybe doesn't seem so fast when you're in the middle of treatment.   When i think of Guzzle, Goyca, Robyn, and many, many others that are finished with treatment it seemed to go quick for us on the outside watching their journey as they moved through the process.   I know it didn't seem quick for them as they were going through it but you can do this.   Stay positive, don't think about the negatives as there are so many positive stories on this site and you will be there in a few short months.   You seem like such a positive person and that is huge.  stay that way and good luck as you go forward.  We are here for you.

 

All the best,

Keith

Shell_7801

donka said:

You'll do fine!

I'm sort of claustrophobic, but it's more a problem with feeling trapped or constrained than anything else.  I panicked on my first treatment, had to get them to take the mask off and let me cry for a minute until I felt better.  After that, they let my husband in the room and he would hold my hand until it was time for the rads.  Then they let him in the technician area and he would talk to me over the speakers the whole time.  It was so helpful just knowing I was being watched and that I wasn't all alone.  He would just say stuff like, "You're doing great honey.  Okay, we're over half way done..."  etc. 

Your throat won't close.  I know exactly what you're talking about as after a surgery my throat collapsed in the recovery room and I woke up to a table full of people standing over me telling me to breath and pumping me full of ventalin and stuff.  Scariest moment in my entire life.  That won't happen here.  I actually found radiation kind of peaceful after I got over the first 3 or so sessions and learned which clicks and beeps meant I was 1/2 way through etc.

I'm listening

All of you are helping so much.  I trust your advice.  The dentist said today that my teeth are all good, we'll just clean them real good before treatment.  He gave me special toothpaste and suggested Act or Biotene mouthwash.  He said because of my surgery I'm already experiencing the dry mouth and to get used to it and to take real good care of my teeth if I want to keep them.   Tomorow is my appointment with the speech therapist and all of my bloodwork is going to be done at cancer center.  

 

There are a lot of steps to go through before this treatment huh?  I'm keeping a journal of everything.  I look forward to helping others when this is over. 

Shell

 

 

 

TracyLynn72

Shell_7801 said:

I'm listening

All of you are helping so much.  I trust your advice.  The dentist said today that my teeth are all good, we'll just clean them real good before treatment.  He gave me special toothpaste and suggested Act or Biotene mouthwash.  He said because of my surgery I'm already experiencing the dry mouth and to get used to it and to take real good care of my teeth if I want to keep them.   Tomorow is my appointment with the speech therapist and all of my bloodwork is going to be done at cancer center.  

 

There are a lot of steps to go through before this treatment huh?  I'm keeping a journal of everything.  I look forward to helping others when this is over. 

Shell

 

 

 

Good news from the dentist!

That's great news!  I use the Act for Dry Mouth rinse and it did much better for me than the Biotene.

 

The process seems to be very slow at times, but it will all get done.  I kept a journal, too.  It's amazing to look back through it at times. I hope your treatments go quickly and are uneventful!