Vulvar Cancer?

I know you all aren't doctors but I am hoping someone maybe recognizes what's going on with me and can offer some advice or encouragment. I recently posted to a different forum and got blasted for being a hypochondriac who uses "Dr Google" to diagnose herself. Really I'm just nervous and need support. Cancer and heart conditions run rampant in my family. So far no one has survived either. My only remaining family are my siblings and some of their children.

I'm 35 years old and have been married for many years with no history of STD for either of us. I have two children and also had two miscarriages. I had Adiana done in 2011 to prevent future pregnancies after the second misscarriage.

Recently I started bleeding (sometimes heavily) after intercourse and also have some spotting at random times. I have two small hard lumps in my labia minora. They are under the skin and are not painful unless they get squeezed or irritated. One is about as big around as a pencil eraser and one is much smaller. They are close together. I also have swollen lymph nodes on the same side in my groin. They are very hard and feel about the size of peas. 

I have a gyn appt scheduled for Thursday, but in the meantime I can't think about anything else. I have researched every type of benign bumps and lumps and can't find any that match. 

The weirdest part is today I noticed that the lymph nodes directly under my earlobes are very hard and large. I don't know if they are always like that or if it's new. I have a very thin neck so it's possible they are always like that and I never noticed. I know that if they are enlarged, it points to something other than vulvar cancer. 

I'm so confused. I have no idea what's going on here. When I go to the doctor should I ask them to do a biopsy? Would it be wise to insist on one for the lumps and also another for the lymph nodes in the groin? Or is just one or the other good enough? Does anyone have any experiences similar to mine?