I'm officially depressed...

I didn't see a primary care doctor during my treatment and I should have.  I switched doctors right after treatment was over.  He said one word to me, and I started crying.  He put me on anti-depressant, but it took me a couple of weeks before I started taking it.  Once I did, I started to heal at a much faster rate.

For my 2nd cancer this year - they put me on it right after surgery (well a few days after, as I was sedated for a few).  No chemo or rads this time. 

Don't feel ashamed or embarassed to ask for something.  If you already feel depressed now, it might get worse once treatment starts. 

lorna

2007 & 2014

Goyca said:

done with MRI and I did

done with MRI and I did ask for a pill to ease my stress and they gave me 1 pill of "Valium" 5mg... To be honest in not sure if it made any difference. Personally I barely take pain killers unless I'm having severe pain, and I never took pills like "valium"... I thought this pill should do wonders! Whenever I closed my eyes I while inside the machine i felt bit dizzy.

 

anywaysss I'm glad its over, the hour passed by and its history. And I'm trying to think that the mask won't be worse, and it will pass.

 

omg, I can't thank u guys enough. Every day someone is commenting and reassuring me that it will be fine. God bless each and every one of you.

 

I think I'll start calling u guys "golden hearts"

 

 

have a peaceful day,

Goyca.

goyca, i'm so glad the test is over and you did fine.  i'm glad you made a promise to get thru this.  you will definitely do it.  we will always be here for you when you need us.  we will also be here to celebrate with you when you finish tx.  hang in there, you got this!

God bless you,

dj

Goyca said:

done with MRI and I did

done with MRI and I did ask for a pill to ease my stress and they gave me 1 pill of "Valium" 5mg... To be honest in not sure if it made any difference. Personally I barely take pain killers unless I'm having severe pain, and I never took pills like "valium"... I thought this pill should do wonders! Whenever I closed my eyes I while inside the machine i felt bit dizzy.

 

anywaysss I'm glad its over, the hour passed by and its history. And I'm trying to think that the mask won't be worse, and it will pass.

 

omg, I can't thank u guys enough. Every day someone is commenting and reassuring me that it will be fine. God bless each and every one of you.

 

I think I'll start calling u guys "golden hearts"

 

 

have a peaceful day,

Goyca.

Of meds, they're there to help you deal with the discomfort of treatments.  I too was loathe to take any medications, I resisted as long as I could and finally broke down one day and asked my oncologist for something to deal with the anxiety.  I was not aware of just how much of a wreck I was until after I'd taken just one pill.  I felt the weight drop away from my shoulders and I knew it was the drug, and I didn't feel like my old self but I felt I could at least deal with it.

It is very understandable to feel depression or anxiety when faced with a diagnosis of cancer.  I can still vividly recall my ENT telling me "you have a tumor on the base of your tongue"  followed up a few sentences later with "I think it's malignant".  I struggled to accept that I had something serious.  I constantly said to myself "I have cancer" and my mind just could not accept it.  Conmpounding that was my medical oncologists pronouncement that with my advanced stage of disease the 5 year survival rate was just 30%

I was numb, just plain numb.  Denial like you can't believe but a friend of mine let me know that it can be overcome.  I'll spare you the long discussions we shared but out of it I was able to adopt a value  that said, "it is what it is"  Worrying about it, cursing the fates that I got cancer and had no risk behaviours, complaining about the unfairness of it all etc., became wasted effort.  Worry, depression (understandable) anxiety, irritability was not going to help me get better.  I decide that I was going to get well, I carried that value through all of the test, treatments, recoveries, surgeries and still deal with it from the after effects, but I'm alive.  I'm two years plus out of rads and will have three more years of visits to my ENT until I'm considered cured, but at this point, I think I'm on top of the world.

Attitude is everything, I decided I was going to get well, I decided that I was going to recover.  I decided that I could handle anything it would throw at me and I was positive I was going to recover.

I have.  You can too.

God never gives us more than we can handle, he will provide you with strength to get through this.  We'll be here too, reach out your hand, take hold of ours, we'll never let you go.

This is the scariest part of the process- and make no mistake it's a process- diagnosis - acceptance- treatment- recovery. I remember my daughter got engaged and I threw a party and couldn't eat and was actually depressed because I couldn't be normal and have a few drinks and eat a good meal- thanksgiving sucked( my favorite holiday) I didn't want to be around no one. But I pushed myself- you must approach the next part of the process as positively as possible- no doubt that you will be healed and beat this. The super thread has a lot of good stuff on it - I think each of us on this forem has at one time or another went through some form of depression. But only you can fight yourself out of it. I am not particularly religious but I found Joel olsteen constantly hit the nail on the head every Sunday - I even bought his book- there is inspirational quote of the day on the internet- if you google it they will send it to you every day.attitude is everything. Even when you feel horible - there is a saying " fake it till you make it" wake up in the morning look yourself in the mirror and say it out loud that you are going to beat this beast and mean it - get pissed off. You will begin to feel better- all I know it worked for me- I will say I did need an occasional kick in the butt to get back on the right road- that's why a good support network is important- 

welcome to the club- you are now a survivor and warrior- make no mistake it's a battle and you must win it- stay positive - we all went through it and are here to talk about it- stay strong and good luck,

Ralph