My Dad has Liver Cancer

Back in December, my dad (59) was diagnosed with liver cancer. I don't know which stage he is in, just in the latter. I am 19 years old, and an adopted child. My dad has given me the life anyone would admire or wish for. He's my best friend. He's my mother and my father. He taught me everything I am today, and stood by me whenever I had a problem. I never ever had a fight with him. 

When I first learned about my dad's situation, I told my mum, "I won't be able to live with you." I don't mean it the way I said it, just more in the way that my mum doesn't know much about me because I have had such a close relationship with my mum. When my friends went shopping with their mum's and having girly days, I was with my dad going to the movies or shopping. He was willing to do everything with me, still does. So, now that I think about it, I am trying very hard not to accept the fact that this is really happening.

Today his doctor prescribed him with Nexavar. Have anyone else had experience with this? I learned that there are many different kinds of side effects. My dad also can't undergo procedures like liver transplant or chemo because of his heart problems. He has many conditions, one being irregular heart beat and irregular blood pressures. 

I was studying in The Netherlands, university. After my Christmas break, I returned back to school, but decided to come back home, in Taiwan, after I saw my dad's situation getting worse. He's constantly tired and his mind doesn't seem to be here. He's always drifting off into his worries and he doesn't speak about it. I'm taking online courses at home, but am unable to find a school here in Taiwan to which I can transfer to. So basically, I've put my studies on a pause, which my dad is very angry about. But I'd do anything to be around him right now. 

I wanted to find a platform where I can share my worries and what I'm going through with others who are too. So, I hope I will be able to find someone here to talk to.