Blood

Marynb said:

Liz
Thanks! How are you these days?

My answer is complicated. Generally speaking, I am feeling more like me. I am back in work & now having my first full time week after completing my graduated return to work. My caseload is building up quite nicely & love the feeling of normality. However, my start to the day is affected by multiple bm's. If I don't 'complete', then the anal canal becomes very tender & I can leak just a little, but that burns my skin. Also recently I have started to pass blood in faeces. I last had a physical check up on 2nd September & that was ok. I saw the colorectal surgeon in December but no physical exam, just a chat. He said my next follow up would be at an anal cancer clinic. A colorectal surgeon & an oncologist would be there, but it could be any of them. Due to the blood thing, I contacted surgeons sec yesterday. I told her of the problem & of no physical exam since September.  She spoke to surgeon & he saidI would next be seen in clinic in May. Now bearing in mind that we should have monitoring 3 monthly post treatment for 2 years, I was much less than happy with the response. That would be 8 months at best between physical examination. And hey! I have this blood thing going on that could need a bit of a check on. (NHS Wales). Well, I stated my case again, & now I am seeing him in clinic tomorrow.  So, yes I am ok, but there's this blood, & I am scared......again. I must admit I feel let down, 8 months!!!!!! Unbelievable!

Marynb said:

Scope
Well, the scope showed no tumors. The doctor said the blood can sometimes hqppen from damage to blood vessels from radiation. I sure hope he is right. On to the next set of scans at the end of the month. Ugh!

You are halfway there, with the scope down and the scan to go, hoping these next 2 weeks go quickly and produce good news !

LaCh said:

marynb

You're welcome Mary. Sometimes, it just takes someone to remind you of what you already know; you, me, all of us. For those who worry about recurrance and dying, it's difficult to prevent the mind from going to dark places, but it serves no useful purpose. Avoiding such things is easier said than done for some people, maybe for many people, but that's when someone will, hopefully, step in and remind you of what you already know.  As for reasons to die, of this cancer or another cause, reasons play no part; we all die of something.  All one can do, with luck and with timing, maybe, is delay it, but to fear it is very unhelpful.  That said, might you have a recurrance? Sure. But the statistical odds are in your favor that you don't, and like I said, it seems like the majority of us have post treatment benign rectal bleeding from a variety of causes.  I'll get mine checked out when I get around to it, which means when it's not 300 degrees below zero. I'm more put out by the cold, than I am about cancer recurrance or bleeding from my arse. Maybe it should be the other way around, but...well, that's just me!  I'm worse than useless in the cold and winter. Useless, really useless. How I got myself to and from treatment in the dead of winter last year, I really don't know. That I did it alone isn't the major triumph that some people think  it is. That I did it in the winter! Well, THAT is a miracle. But here's the thing. I did it. How? By dealing with what was before me, when it was before me, and not looking beyond it.  Deal with things as they appear; don't worry about things that aren't yet there. Cross bridges as you get to them; don't worry about how you're going to cross those that aren't laid at your feet; you may never have to cross them at all.  Easier said than done? Sure. But something to shoot for. Hang in.... 

LaCh, I'm like you, totally useless in the cold and winter.  All I want to do is come home after work and get in my warm bed.  If I didn't have to get up and go to work, I'll probably wouldn't.  I love what you wrote, it's so true.  Yes, it is easier said than done, but reading this reminded me to do what I pledged, which is enjoy each day, and not worry so much about the future and what  if's. God bless!

Marynb said:

Scope
Well, the scope showed no tumors. The doctor said the blood can sometimes hqppen from damage to blood vessels from radiation. I sure hope he is right. On to the next set of scans at the end of the month. Ugh!

Hope your scans go well.  You remain in my thoughts & prayers (even when you don't see a post.) 

It does seem ironic that the symptoms that I ignored and put off have now become "normal".

patacz said:

I don't like the cold weather...

LaCh, I'm like you, totally useless in the cold and winter.  All I want to do is come home after work and get in my warm bed.  If I didn't have to get up and go to work, I'll probably wouldn't.  I love what you wrote, it's so true.  Yes, it is easier said than done, but reading this reminded me to do what I pledged, which is enjoy each day, and not worry so much about the future and what  if's. God bless!

well, you're welcome patacz. Lotsa times people forget what they already know, all of us do it, and you just need someone to jog your memory. As for the winter, if I didn't have to walk my dog, I'd be indoors from October to May, no exceptions. Alas, I have to walk him, move my car around so I don't get a ticket and other equally fascinating things that require me to venture out into the polar north, otherwise known as New Yawk Siddy in the winter.  Going to have a flex sig Monday to investigate the bleeding; my gastroenterologist talked me into it, but I expect nothing more interesting than radiation proctitis. It's the cold that I'm thinking about, more than anything, it's sposed to drop back down into the teens and 20s next week. Not the best timing for a flex sig. (But I sure do love that propofol, so there's that to look forward to--I know why Michael Jackson loved it so much)... Hang in... the spring is a mere zillion days away. 

mp327 said:

LaCh

I'm a fan of propofol too--gives me the best 20-minute naps during those colonoscopies!  Here's hoping that radiation proctitis is the culprit and nothing more.

Yes, it's delicious stuff... I don't even drink alcohol and never have, because I don't like the feeling of losing yourself, but I have to say, even Propofol induction, when the room starts to move around you, is undeniably wonderful. Anyway, I'm not hoping it's radiation proctitis. I just assume that it is.  I'm not much of a worrier unless something to worry about is staring me in the face, and even then, it's a hit or miss thing.  What's the worst thing that can ever happen? Someone you love dies or you die. Well, all the people I love, who have ever loved me, are already dead, so I can scratch that off the list, and while I'm not eager to bump up my day, because I believe in the survival of consciousness beyond physical death and also in the cycle of reincarnation, if the day comes soon, that's ok too. I figure it's a win / win thing; die sooner or die later. That said, a little later is ok. I don't want to live to be too old, but a few more years than what I have now would be ok.  In any case, the only thing I'm thinkng about is how cold it's gonna be on Monday (very), not the flex sig. 

TraceyUSA said:

Doing well

Thanks for asking.  I'm looking forward to the one year mark (March 14, 2014) and feel good.  I had a PET/CT scan in October, pelvic/abdominal MRI in December and all were clean - WOO HOO!  I have the usual post treatment symptoms that most on this board describe but nothing that I can complain about or that disrupts my life.  As everyone else, I try not to worry that it will come back.  I feel that this whole experience has made me more grateful for all the blessings I have and small things that I used to take for granted. 

P.S.  Our church has a St. Peregrine shrine and prayers for all those with intentions before St. Peregrine are included every mass.  Needless to say, you (and everyone else on this board) are part of those prayers every week. 

I wanted to chime and say that I am so glad you are doing well--congrats on the clean scans!  I hope you are planning to celebrate your 1-year mark in fine style--it's a biggie!  Like you, I have post-treatment issues, but nothing that I can't handle.  I think we all learn by trial and error how to deal with some things--like buying stock in Charmin toilet paper so you at least get something in return for the high usage!    Please remind us when your anniversary rolls around so we can have a virtual party in your honor.  And thank you for the ongoing prayers for all of your comrads here!