Being married improves cancer survivorship

...heels out lol. I think any kind of meaningful relationship, whether with our kids, family, friends, pets will improve your health. At the same time, a bad relationship can make you sick(er).

After my bad marriage and nasty divorce I had to rearrange everything about myself and the way I think. Took me about 4 years of hard work, hit and miss, learning, but I did become a balanced attractive person who can create and maintain new healthy relationships despite that I got badly burned. This was and still is so important to me that if I had to go back the way I used to be and stay that way, I wouldn't choose that even if I could get my health back in exchange.

Relationships are our greatest investment and resource. 

Laz

mp327 said:

Cancer survivorship

I saw a report on the evening news tonight about this.  It seems that married people do fare better when battling cancer.

sometimes the spouse adds more stress......they try the best they can , i guess...... sephie

sephie said:

it depends

sometimes the spouse adds more stress......they try the best they can , i guess...... sephie

I agree, like everything there are pros and cons. A spouse may????help with driving to appointments, cooking, shopping, cleaning, kids, finances, etc..............or, just be a real addition to the stress at times. I think in a way I was lucky to be hospitalized for a while as I was at my breaking point with my husband (of 30 yrs) and really needed some time away from him. Even 2 yrs out, he just can't relate to what we've gone through and so we seldom discuss issues dealing with anal cancer or recovery. He may try, but....??

Marynb said:

Spouses and survival
Well, I think the statistic is accuratel having someone to drive you to treatments, bring a glass of water, encourage healthy habits, help with housework, help paying the bills, help getting food in the house, etc.

I believe in marriage, but if any cancer patient has a spouse who is not helpful and makes a life and death situation worse....time to free yourself of that poison. Surviving cancer requires life changes and a toxic spouse has to go!!!

I would agree.  Some marriages are toxic and I can see no way that that kind of relationship can be helpful when one of the spouses is diagnosed with cancer.  Many marriages have ended in divorce after a cancer diagnosis because the one who does not have cancer just can't handle it. 

cap630 said:

Yes, I heard this as well

All I can say is that between us we have battled cancer four times in the last five years and we're still here!

Sounds like my house. First my husband had a stem cell transplant for multiple myeloma, a blood cancer. Then I had treatment for Stage3b anal cancer. Then he, a bone marrow transplant for return of blood cancer, then I for breast cancer. All this in the span of less than 4 years!! Although I stated earlier that I feel he does not understand my treatment and recovery, nor can I completely relate to his! I think this game of cancer ping-pong has kept us together as we can relate to the overall trauma of cancer.

Wishing all healthy days ahead..........

Marynb said:

Cap and eihtak
Gee, when I hear stories like yours, I have to wonder about environmental factors. Have you checked that out? Water? Land? Air? Building materials?


Have you read the book, " A Civil Action"? They made a movie out of it. I worked in the next town when it was proven that environmental pollution from discharged water from a manufacturing plant had caused many different cancers in Woburn, Mass. They won the lawsuit, but money is no compensation for the suffering and deaths.

Yes, I very much think environment has something to do with cancer. For a while, especially after the loss of my breasts to bc, I was convinced I could not live here. I spent much time recovering three hours away at my dads or brothers. Finally, I have decided that there are some things in my control and some not, and I can not live in a bubble. There is a good chance that whatever caused my cancer was a result of environmental factors many years ago, as I have moved a few times in my life. I eat healthy and hope that that helps to rid my body of free radicals. On one hand it seems we have seen a large number of cancer diagnoses in my area, but there are also many people who have lived here there entire lives, are past 75yrs old and very healthy. One of the biggest health changes I have made is to do what I can without causing undue stress to myself or others, and to trust that God is handling the rest. It is really so much easier to live a relaxed life when you just truely turn your biggest worries over to Him. Have faith!!

sandysp said:

Amen

Amen!

Mary, I grew up in Woburn. Not in east Woburn where the wells were but in central Woburn. My girlfriend grew up over the tanneries and later developed breast cancer. Who knows if that was related though - I know others who had breast cancer and had none of the risk factors. I feel so sorry for the families in Woburn because from what I understand it was little children who were most affected.

Marynb said:

RoseC
It was men, women, and children and was a case very difficult to prove and hard fought. It was the W.B. Grace Company that was dumping chemicals that got into the ground and water. The incidence was widespread. I met the author of the book and have heard the attorney who won this important toxic tort case.

So many people get sick from environmental factors and nobody seems to keep track of cancer clusters. The fact that some people don't die from environmental toxins is very irrelevant. It is the high incidence of cancers after exposure to toxins in certain geographic areas that is relevant. Some people smoke their whole lives and never get sick! Does that mean smoking doesn't cause cancer?? NO. I live downwind of a filthy coal burning plant and the air quality isn't even measured here. The incidence of cancer is very high in this area. I didn't even know there was a coal burning plant until after I bought the plant. My mistake! I am looking to move! Some days, it is hard to breathe!

Yes, I do trust God, but the Lord helps those who help themselves. It is like someone praying to win the lottery when they never buy a ticket.

Hi - It was actually Cyrovac, Inc. and the John J Riley Tannery, which were owned by W.R. Grace and Beatrice Foods. They dumped chemicals in the Aberjona River. Back then it was a much more common practice than it is today. I remember walking by the Aberjona on the way to Bradlees with my girlfriend and looking at the disgusting river. That was back in the mid to late 60's. And it was childhood leukemia that brought the issue to light, that and miscarriages and birth defects. I don't know about any adult cancers, but I surely wouldn't be surprised to know they existed too.

Not saying that environmental factors don't matter, of course they do. What're you gonna do though, except the best you can? If you think you're living in a bad spot, move. I'm not trying to be a wise guy or anything, just that there are so very many things that COULD affect us that one could go nuts trying to figure it all out.

Marynb said:

Rose
I know your not a wise guy...lol. Yes,, it does take time and effort trying to figure it out. I have been reading and researching a lot lately. What shocks me the most from my research is that our government doesn't protect us better from known toxins that we cannot control. I think that the role of government is primarily to protect publc safety. The poison they put in and on our foods is shocking to me now.

I know we can't control everything, but as cancer patients and survivors we have to educate ourselves. I am convinced that exposure to toxins is the primary cause of cancer.

I couldn't agree with you more.  Although there is a lot of evidence that points to anal cancer being HPV-mediated, I can't help but wonder why it is approximately 85% of adults over the age of 50 will be infected with HPV, but only a handful of them in comparison will develop cancer.  There have to be other factors involved and I strongly believe that environmental issues play a huge role. 

I grew up in the Midwest in a highly agricultural area.  I also found out, thanks to the scans I've had because of cancer, that I have had histoplasmosis in the past, which shows up as calcified granuloma in my lungs.  While this is caused by spores that live in the soil and are stirred up when the fields are cultivated and not by toxins, I believe the same thing happens when the chemicals that are put into the soil to grow crops are stirred up.  We are breathing that crap.  Down the road a few miles from where I lived are two very large soybean processing plants.  One of them has an elevated highway that runs through the middle of it from which you can see the tops of the various buildings of the plant.  The "crud" that this plant has released into the air has settled on the tops of those buildings.  We are breathing that crap too.  It is quite scary and God only knows what it's doing to us.  I truly believe it's killing us, along with lots of other things.