Being married improves cancer survivorship

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Marynb
Marynb Member Posts: 1,118
edited September 2013 in Anal Cancer #1
For all you married folks, there is a new study out showing amazing benefits of being married! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/23/married-cancer-survival-marriage-death_n_3977278.html


Could it be that love is the best medicine?
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  • lp1964
    lp1964 Member Posts: 1,239 Member
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    Time to get those...

    ...heels out lol. I think any kind of meaningful relationship, whether with our kids, family, friends, pets will improve your health. At the same time, a bad relationship can make you sick(er).

    After my bad marriage and nasty divorce I had to rearrange everything about myself and the way I think. Took me about 4 years of hard work, hit and miss, learning, but I did become a balanced attractive person who can create and maintain new healthy relationships despite that I got badly burned. This was and still is so important to me that if I had to go back the way I used to be and stay that way, I wouldn't choose that even if I could get my health back in exchange.

    Relationships are our greatest investment and resource. 

    Laz

  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
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    Cancer survivorship

    I saw a report on the evening news tonight about this.  It seems that married people do fare better when battling cancer.

  • sephie
    sephie Member Posts: 650 Member
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    mp327 said:

    Cancer survivorship

    I saw a report on the evening news tonight about this.  It seems that married people do fare better when battling cancer.

    it depends

    sometimes the spouse adds more stress......they try the best they can , i guess...... sephie

  • danker
    danker Member Posts: 1,276 Member
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    married

    When the guy told his friend that statistics show that married men live longer than singles, his response was; It just seems longer.  LOL

  • eihtak
    eihtak Member Posts: 1,473 Member
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    sephie said:

    it depends

    sometimes the spouse adds more stress......they try the best they can , i guess...... sephie

    sephie.....

    I agree, like everything there are pros and cons. A spouse may????help with driving to appointments, cooking, shopping, cleaning, kids, finances, etc..............or, just be a real addition to the stress at times. I think in a way I was lucky to be hospitalized for a while as I was at my breaking point with my husband (of 30 yrs) and really needed some time away from him. Even 2 yrs out, he just can't relate to what we've gone through and so we seldom discuss issues dealing with anal cancer or recovery. He may try, but....??

  • Marynb
    Marynb Member Posts: 1,118
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    sephie said:

    it depends

    sometimes the spouse adds more stress......they try the best they can , i guess...... sephie

    Spouses and survival
    Well, I think the statistic is accuratel having someone to drive you to treatments, bring a glass of water, encourage healthy habits, help with housework, help paying the bills, help getting food in the house, etc.

    I believe in marriage, but if any cancer patient has a spouse who is not helpful and makes a life and death situation worse....time to free yourself of that poison. Surviving cancer requires life changes and a toxic spouse has to go!!!
  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
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    Marynb said:

    Spouses and survival
    Well, I think the statistic is accuratel having someone to drive you to treatments, bring a glass of water, encourage healthy habits, help with housework, help paying the bills, help getting food in the house, etc.

    I believe in marriage, but if any cancer patient has a spouse who is not helpful and makes a life and death situation worse....time to free yourself of that poison. Surviving cancer requires life changes and a toxic spouse has to go!!!

    Marynb

    I would agree.  Some marriages are toxic and I can see no way that that kind of relationship can be helpful when one of the spouses is diagnosed with cancer.  Many marriages have ended in divorce after a cancer diagnosis because the one who does not have cancer just can't handle it. 

  • cap630
    cap630 Member Posts: 151 Member
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    Yes, I heard this as well

    All I can say is that between us we have battled cancer four times in the last five years and we're still here!

  • eihtak
    eihtak Member Posts: 1,473 Member
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    cap630 said:

    Yes, I heard this as well

    All I can say is that between us we have battled cancer four times in the last five years and we're still here!

    cap630.....

    Sounds like my house. First my husband had a stem cell transplant for multiple myeloma, a blood cancer. Then I had treatment for Stage3b anal cancer. Then he, a bone marrow transplant for return of blood cancer, then I for breast cancer. All this in the span of less than 4 years!! Although I stated earlier that I feel he does not understand my treatment and recovery, nor can I completely relate to his! I think this game of cancer ping-pong has kept us together as we can relate to the overall trauma of cancer.

    Wishing all healthy days ahead..........

  • Marynb
    Marynb Member Posts: 1,118
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    cap630 said:

    Yes, I heard this as well

    All I can say is that between us we have battled cancer four times in the last five years and we're still here!

    Cap and eihtak
    Gee, when I hear stories like yours, I have to wonder about environmental factors. Have you checked that out? Water? Land? Air? Building materials?


    Have you read the book, " A Civil Action"? They made a movie out of it. I worked in the next town when it was proven that environmental pollution from discharged water from a manufacturing plant had caused many different cancers in Woburn, Mass. They won the lawsuit, but money is no compensation for the suffering and deaths.
  • eihtak
    eihtak Member Posts: 1,473 Member
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    Marynb said:

    Cap and eihtak
    Gee, when I hear stories like yours, I have to wonder about environmental factors. Have you checked that out? Water? Land? Air? Building materials?


    Have you read the book, " A Civil Action"? They made a movie out of it. I worked in the next town when it was proven that environmental pollution from discharged water from a manufacturing plant had caused many different cancers in Woburn, Mass. They won the lawsuit, but money is no compensation for the suffering and deaths.

    Marynb......

    Yes, I very much think environment has something to do with cancer. For a while, especially after the loss of my breasts to bc, I was convinced I could not live here. I spent much time recovering three hours away at my dads or brothers. Finally, I have decided that there are some things in my control and some not, and I can not live in a bubble. There is a good chance that whatever caused my cancer was a result of environmental factors many years ago, as I have moved a few times in my life. I eat healthy and hope that that helps to rid my body of free radicals. On one hand it seems we have seen a large number of cancer diagnoses in my area, but there are also many people who have lived here there entire lives, are past 75yrs old and very healthy. One of the biggest health changes I have made is to do what I can without causing undue stress to myself or others, and to trust that God is handling the rest. It is really so much easier to live a relaxed life when you just truely turn your biggest worries over to Him. Have faith!!

  • sandysp
    sandysp Member Posts: 868 Member
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    eihtak said:

    Marynb......

    Yes, I very much think environment has something to do with cancer. For a while, especially after the loss of my breasts to bc, I was convinced I could not live here. I spent much time recovering three hours away at my dads or brothers. Finally, I have decided that there are some things in my control and some not, and I can not live in a bubble. There is a good chance that whatever caused my cancer was a result of environmental factors many years ago, as I have moved a few times in my life. I eat healthy and hope that that helps to rid my body of free radicals. On one hand it seems we have seen a large number of cancer diagnoses in my area, but there are also many people who have lived here there entire lives, are past 75yrs old and very healthy. One of the biggest health changes I have made is to do what I can without causing undue stress to myself or others, and to trust that God is handling the rest. It is really so much easier to live a relaxed life when you just truely turn your biggest worries over to Him. Have faith!!

    Amen

    Amen!

  • RoseC
    RoseC Member Posts: 559
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    sandysp said:

    Amen

    Amen!

    Amen too

    Mary, I grew up in Woburn. Not in east Woburn where the wells were but in central Woburn. My girlfriend grew up over the tanneries and later developed breast cancer. Who knows if that was related though - I know others who had breast cancer and had none of the risk factors. I feel so sorry for the families in Woburn because from what I understand it was little children who were most affected.

  • islandgirlculebra
    islandgirlculebra Member Posts: 155 Member
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    eihtak said:

    Marynb......

    Yes, I very much think environment has something to do with cancer. For a while, especially after the loss of my breasts to bc, I was convinced I could not live here. I spent much time recovering three hours away at my dads or brothers. Finally, I have decided that there are some things in my control and some not, and I can not live in a bubble. There is a good chance that whatever caused my cancer was a result of environmental factors many years ago, as I have moved a few times in my life. I eat healthy and hope that that helps to rid my body of free radicals. On one hand it seems we have seen a large number of cancer diagnoses in my area, but there are also many people who have lived here there entire lives, are past 75yrs old and very healthy. One of the biggest health changes I have made is to do what I can without causing undue stress to myself or others, and to trust that God is handling the rest. It is really so much easier to live a relaxed life when you just truely turn your biggest worries over to Him. Have faith!!

    Eihtak -

    Your last three sentences say it all! Thank you for reminding me of that! "Turning your biggest worries over to Him"..... Awesome!

     

  • Marynb
    Marynb Member Posts: 1,118
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    RoseC said:

    Amen too

    Mary, I grew up in Woburn. Not in east Woburn where the wells were but in central Woburn. My girlfriend grew up over the tanneries and later developed breast cancer. Who knows if that was related though - I know others who had breast cancer and had none of the risk factors. I feel so sorry for the families in Woburn because from what I understand it was little children who were most affected.

    RoseC
    It was men, women, and children and was a case very difficult to prove and hard fought. It was the W.B. Grace Company that was dumping chemicals that got into the ground and water. The incidence was widespread. I met the author of the book and have heard the attorney who won this important toxic tort case.

    So many people get sick from environmental factors and nobody seems to keep track of cancer clusters. The fact that some people don't die from environmental toxins is very irrelevant. It is the high incidence of cancers after exposure to toxins in certain geographic areas that is relevant. Some people smoke their whole lives and never get sick! Does that mean smoking doesn't cause cancer?? NO. I live downwind of a filthy coal burning plant and the air quality isn't even measured here. The incidence of cancer is very high in this area. I didn't even know there was a coal burning plant until after I bought the plant. My mistake! I am looking to move! Some days, it is hard to breathe!

    Yes, I do trust God, but the Lord helps those who help themselves. It is like someone praying to win the lottery when they never buy a ticket.
  • Marynb
    Marynb Member Posts: 1,118
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    eihtak said:

    Marynb......

    Yes, I very much think environment has something to do with cancer. For a while, especially after the loss of my breasts to bc, I was convinced I could not live here. I spent much time recovering three hours away at my dads or brothers. Finally, I have decided that there are some things in my control and some not, and I can not live in a bubble. There is a good chance that whatever caused my cancer was a result of environmental factors many years ago, as I have moved a few times in my life. I eat healthy and hope that that helps to rid my body of free radicals. On one hand it seems we have seen a large number of cancer diagnoses in my area, but there are also many people who have lived here there entire lives, are past 75yrs old and very healthy. One of the biggest health changes I have made is to do what I can without causing undue stress to myself or others, and to trust that God is handling the rest. It is really so much easier to live a relaxed life when you just truely turn your biggest worries over to Him. Have faith!!

    Faith
    Yes, eihtak, I do have great faith. I turned my life over to him long ago, but that doesn't mean I allow myself to be poisoned if I can help it. God wants us to love ourselves and stay out of harms way.

    I do think it is important to avoid stress and I am sure trying to do that.
  • RoseC
    RoseC Member Posts: 559
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    Marynb said:

    RoseC
    It was men, women, and children and was a case very difficult to prove and hard fought. It was the W.B. Grace Company that was dumping chemicals that got into the ground and water. The incidence was widespread. I met the author of the book and have heard the attorney who won this important toxic tort case.

    So many people get sick from environmental factors and nobody seems to keep track of cancer clusters. The fact that some people don't die from environmental toxins is very irrelevant. It is the high incidence of cancers after exposure to toxins in certain geographic areas that is relevant. Some people smoke their whole lives and never get sick! Does that mean smoking doesn't cause cancer?? NO. I live downwind of a filthy coal burning plant and the air quality isn't even measured here. The incidence of cancer is very high in this area. I didn't even know there was a coal burning plant until after I bought the plant. My mistake! I am looking to move! Some days, it is hard to breathe!

    Yes, I do trust God, but the Lord helps those who help themselves. It is like someone praying to win the lottery when they never buy a ticket.

    Hi - It was actually Cyrovac,

    Hi - It was actually Cyrovac, Inc. and the John J Riley Tannery, which were owned by W.R. Grace and Beatrice Foods. They dumped chemicals in the Aberjona River. Back then it was a much more common practice than it is today. I remember walking by the Aberjona on the way to Bradlees with my girlfriend and looking at the disgusting river. That was back in the mid to late 60's. And it was childhood leukemia that brought the issue to light, that and miscarriages and birth defects. I don't know about any adult cancers, but I surely wouldn't be surprised to know they existed too.

    Not saying that environmental factors don't matter, of course they do. What're you gonna do though, except the best you can? If you think you're living in a bad spot, move. I'm not trying to be a wise guy or anything, just that there are so very many things that COULD affect us that one could go nuts trying to figure it all out.

  • Marynb
    Marynb Member Posts: 1,118
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    RoseC said:

    Hi - It was actually Cyrovac,

    Hi - It was actually Cyrovac, Inc. and the John J Riley Tannery, which were owned by W.R. Grace and Beatrice Foods. They dumped chemicals in the Aberjona River. Back then it was a much more common practice than it is today. I remember walking by the Aberjona on the way to Bradlees with my girlfriend and looking at the disgusting river. That was back in the mid to late 60's. And it was childhood leukemia that brought the issue to light, that and miscarriages and birth defects. I don't know about any adult cancers, but I surely wouldn't be surprised to know they existed too.

    Not saying that environmental factors don't matter, of course they do. What're you gonna do though, except the best you can? If you think you're living in a bad spot, move. I'm not trying to be a wise guy or anything, just that there are so very many things that COULD affect us that one could go nuts trying to figure it all out.

    Rose
    I know your not a wise guy...lol. Yes,, it does take time and effort trying to figure it out. I have been reading and researching a lot lately. What shocks me the most from my research is that our government doesn't protect us better from known toxins that we cannot control. I think that the role of government is primarily to protect publc safety. The poison they put in and on our foods is shocking to me now.

    I know we can't control everything, but as cancer patients and survivors we have to educate ourselves. I am convinced that exposure to toxins is the primary cause of cancer.
  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
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    Marynb said:

    Rose
    I know your not a wise guy...lol. Yes,, it does take time and effort trying to figure it out. I have been reading and researching a lot lately. What shocks me the most from my research is that our government doesn't protect us better from known toxins that we cannot control. I think that the role of government is primarily to protect publc safety. The poison they put in and on our foods is shocking to me now.

    I know we can't control everything, but as cancer patients and survivors we have to educate ourselves. I am convinced that exposure to toxins is the primary cause of cancer.

    Marynb

    I couldn't agree with you more.  Although there is a lot of evidence that points to anal cancer being HPV-mediated, I can't help but wonder why it is approximately 85% of adults over the age of 50 will be infected with HPV, but only a handful of them in comparison will develop cancer.  There have to be other factors involved and I strongly believe that environmental issues play a huge role. 

    I grew up in the Midwest in a highly agricultural area.  I also found out, thanks to the scans I've had because of cancer, that I have had histoplasmosis in the past, which shows up as calcified granuloma in my lungs.  While this is caused by spores that live in the soil and are stirred up when the fields are cultivated and not by toxins, I believe the same thing happens when the chemicals that are put into the soil to grow crops are stirred up.  We are breathing that crap.  Down the road a few miles from where I lived are two very large soybean processing plants.  One of them has an elevated highway that runs through the middle of it from which you can see the tops of the various buildings of the plant.  The "crud" that this plant has released into the air has settled on the tops of those buildings.  We are breathing that crap too.  It is quite scary and God only knows what it's doing to us.  I truly believe it's killing us, along with lots of other things.   

  • LaCh
    LaCh Member Posts: 557
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    Marynb said:

    Faith
    Yes, eihtak, I do have great faith. I turned my life over to him long ago, but that doesn't mean I allow myself to be poisoned if I can help it. God wants us to love ourselves and stay out of harms way.

    I do think it is important to avoid stress and I am sure trying to do that.

    stats are only stats

    I'm single, not looking, and cured. No one helped during treatments; I got through it alone.  I don't recommend it, but neither do I not recommend it. You do what you need to do with whatever situation you have. Looking for cause and effect, the "I'm ok because [whatever--I'm married, single, eat meat, don't eat meat, am old, young--whatever] will only go so far. Sometimes, although you might want to know the whys of the thing, or feel that you're in an advantageous situaion because you're married (or single) you can't know, and those ruminations are simpy an excercise in rationalization.  All you can do is deal with whatever problem is placed before you, and move through it and if you're lucky, past it, with someone at your side, with no one at your side, with whatever situation you're in. Everybody "gets" something, the only question is how one deals with it; how one comports onself during it.  There're no safety nets (diet, life style, marital status) and unfortunately, often, no answers.  To seek them might not be the best expenditure of time. This is my opinion.