*** Some OLD AGE Jokes To Make You Laugh ***

susie09
susie09 Member Posts: 2,930

Sex And The Over 90's

 

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning".

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh, no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "and if the damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today."    

 

  Old Money

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel."

"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents."

"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37."

"Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."                            

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Comments

  • Megan M
    Megan M Member Posts: 3,000
    Hilarious!

    Thanks Susie!  Laughing

  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    Megan M said:

    Hilarious!

    Thanks Susie!  Laughing

    I love these!

    Very funny!

    Smiley hahaha 024.gif
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    Megan M said:

    Hilarious!

    Thanks Susie!  Laughing

    You are welcome!  I am still

    You are welcome!  I am still laughing at them!  I especially love the Sex and over 90's one. 

    ♥ Susie

  • Candi Cane
    Candi Cane Member Posts: 159
    susie09 said:

    You are welcome!  I am still

    You are welcome!  I am still laughing at them!  I especially love the Sex and over 90's one. 

    ♥ Susie

    I love jokes, these

    I love jokes, these especially.  Thanks!

    Candi

  • Nana Sue
    Nana Sue Member Posts: 55

    I love jokes, these

    I love jokes, these especially.  Thanks!

    Candi

    Laughter is always welcomed! 

    Laughter is always welcomed!  The world needs more of it.  Thank you for these cute jokes. 

  • Cheryl 1
    Cheryl 1 Member Posts: 41
    Megan M said:

    Hilarious!

    Thanks Susie!  Laughing

    I can't wait to share these

    I can't wait to share these with my parents.  I hope they think they're funny.  LOL

  • coco2008
    coco2008 Member Posts: 418
    Nana Sue said:

    Laughter is always welcomed! 

    Laughter is always welcomed!  The world needs more of it.  Thank you for these cute jokes. 

    Today was a good day for a

    Today was a good day for a laugh.  Thanks for providing it.

  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    susie09 said:

    You are welcome!  I am still

    You are welcome!  I am still laughing at them!  I especially love the Sex and over 90's one. 

    ♥ Susie

    Ha Ha!  I love your posts

    Ha Ha!  I love your posts Susie!

  • Kobias
    Kobias Member Posts: 115
    Cheryl 1 said:

    I can't wait to share these

    I can't wait to share these with my parents.  I hope they think they're funny.  LOL

    Both of these are very

    Both of these are very funny!  Thank you so much for posting them!

    Kathy

  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    Kobias said:

    Both of these are very

    Both of these are very funny!  Thank you so much for posting them!

    Kathy

    You always find the funniest

    You always find the funniest and cutest jokes!  Thanks!

  • Lynne P
    Lynne P Member Posts: 165

    You always find the funniest

    You always find the funniest and cutest jokes!  Thanks!

    Thanks!

    Laughing hard and going to email these to my friends. 

  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    Lynne P said:

    Thanks!

    Laughing hard and going to email these to my friends. 

    Pee'd a little from all the

    laughter...  seriously!

     

    Vicki Sam

  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
    coco2008 said:

    Today was a good day for a

    Today was a good day for a laugh.  Thanks for providing it.

    Every day is a good day for a

    Every day is a good day for a laugh and I thank you Susie for this one!

  • JJDS
    JJDS Member Posts: 258
    VickiSam said:

    Pee'd a little from all the

    laughter...  seriously!

     

    Vicki Sam

    Kind of like VickiSam  LOL 

    Kind of like VickiSam  LOL 

  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    Kobias said:

    Both of these are very

    Both of these are very funny!  Thank you so much for posting them!

    Kathy

    :)

    Cute Cute Cute! 

  • andi44
    andi44 Member Posts: 196 Member
    Thank you Susie for the jokes...

    image

  • JJDS
    JJDS Member Posts: 258
    andi44 said:

    Thank you Susie for the jokes...

    image

    Andi, that is so cute, that

    Andi, that is so cute, that pic!  And, it is true, isn't it?  Laughter is the medicine of life!

  • Carlee
    Carlee Member Posts: 98
    JJDS said:

    Andi, that is so cute, that

    Andi, that is so cute, that pic!  And, it is true, isn't it?  Laughter is the medicine of life!

    I love funnies!  Thanks!

    I love funnies!  Thanks!

  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    Carlee said:

    I love funnies!  Thanks!

    I love funnies!  Thanks!

    I've always enjoyed your

    I've always enjoyed your jokes Susie!  Thank you again and keep them coming!

    Lex

  • Nana Sue
    Nana Sue Member Posts: 55
    Alexis F said:

    I've always enjoyed your

    I've always enjoyed your jokes Susie!  Thank you again and keep them coming!

    Lex

    Susie, I've been forwarding

    Susie, I've been forwarding on your jokes to my friends!  They like opening up their email first thing and having a laugh, so, thanks again!