My mother is 92 and I'm seeking advice.

Juno22 said:

Lord, I love all of these women

Jan & Suzanne,

Thank you for your time and words.  I've said it before, but I wished you all lived around the corner from me.  It's hard to make close friends when you stay at home a lot and then you never know the true nature of someone that you are trying to befriend.  What I have found on this site are real people, speaking from their hearts, giving up of their time to help others.  You are all what I call real people, you have learned not to waste your time on petty stuff and just focus on taking that next step and just keep moving forward.    I wish I could do more for each of you.  I'm the 'child' in this arena and all I can do is to say to each and every one of you that you are all wonderful.  I remember a conversation with my Aunt some years ago.  She had lost both of her sons and I asked “Aunt Ginny how did you stand it?” and she responded with “if I had another choice I would have taken it but all I can do is stand it.”  Isn’t that the truth and I’ve never forgotten her words.

Yesterday was a good day where I felt almost normal, today I'm letting worry get to me and then I think about all of you. They say that God doesn't give us more than we can handle but I swear all of you are superwomen.  I am in awe of your strength and humbled to the bone.  I'm sure in your quiet moments you may have doubts about what you can handle, but believe me I was led to this site for a reason and the reason was because of all of you.    

With momma, if they can't do the biopsy or if the biopsy is positive I counting on the new doctor to help me with any holistic knowledge she may have.  I know that momma's age restricts what we can or even should do, but the only way I feel both us can have any peace is to be working on something that could help instead of doing nothing.  I know you may think that with momma having Alzheimer's that she won't remember so maybe we should just let it go.  That's not the case.  She may not think about it every moment like I seem to be doing, but for example, one of my brothers and his wife were visiting yesterday and out of the blue momma starting telling my SIL her concerns and that we are going to try a biopsy to find out what is going on.  But be assured I won't let anyone hurt my mother more than necessary.  And I will check with the MD on the 5th for suggestions of other pain meds mom could take and share that with the Gynecologist.  Also, Suzanne I will check into a D & C and see if that is an option if they can't do the biopsy.  The waiting is awful.  I know what the waiting is like; I've had three major surgeries, once for uterus to remove grapefruit sized tumor, once for tumor ridden ovaries and then for what was described as a mass in my abdomen.  Each time I had to wait to find out if I had cancer.  I was lucky each time, and I don't know why but this waiting to find out about my momma is worse.        

Jan, I feel like I know you from all of the comments I’ve read where you help, give advice based on your experience and in general give folks comfort in just being there.  Could you please move to the Phoenix area, LOL. 

I had to change my password again to log back in, really strange, but I promise to keep all of you updated.  Today I also received worrying information about a very close friend, I’ve known her for most of my life, and she’s like a sister.  She had ovarian cancer diagnosed Dec 26^th, 2011.  I’m sorry I don’t know what type I know she was a Stage 3, but someone else told her stage IV so I’m not sure.  She had surgery and then 6 months of chemo, no radiation though.  She finished her treatments last May.  Her CA125’s have been at 9 and then 11 and this week it was 14.  They did a CAT and told her there is a spot on her liver.  That’s all we know right now.  I am going to recommend she join this network (if she hasn’t already) because I know I have felt so much better reading and learning what all of you already know.  You are right, knowledge does help.

Thank you, thank you, and thank you for caring.

Darlene    

Tomorrow is the big day when the Gynecologist will attempt to do a biopsy on mom.  I still don’t know if it will happen.  It could very well be that in can’t be done due to the closed cervix.  And, I still have no faith that the doctor wants to even try.  We will see.  I don’t know what is the right thing to do so I’m going to let God lead wherever this takes us.

The great news is that we did see her new primary doctor today and we both absolutely loved her.  Loved, loved, loved her!  She gave me a referral to her personal Gynecologist if after tomorrow we want a second opinion.   She is also concerned with what’s going on with mom, but she didn’t miss the class that taught a doctor on how to speak to a patient.   I don’t know where this will all go, but it feels so good to have someone to fall back on when I need advice.  Also, the fact that she practices holistically, gives me hope that if need be we can be proactive in another way as opposed to doing nothing.  I’m not getting a lot of positive what ifs but I know you never know and everyone is unique.    I’ll update you on what occurs tomorrow.

Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts and feelings.

Darlene

Jan

You are so amazing.  I’ve  read what you have gone through and I honestly am so humbled by your positive advice to others, when I know darn well you must ‘as my mom would say’ at times feel like  you have been pulled through a knothole.   

Well today was another day controlled by God. I was dreading meeting with this doctor again and also she made me a believer that we probably couldn't do the biopsy because of the closed uterus due to mom's age. First, the doctor wasn't even there. We were seen by the sweetest Nurse Practitioner we could ever have wished for. Second - The biopsy was a success.  Can you believe that!!!!  I told my daughter that I didn't think I could stay in the room, I didn't think I could watch mom in pain.  She grabbed her grandma’s right hand and said that's okay mom I'll stay. I looked at her and then at mom and I thought if mom can go through it the least I could do is be there for her. I stayed and mom was a trooper. She handled it the way I've always known her to handle most things. Quietly and with an inner strength I wish I had. She is absolutely amazing. We will know the results in about one week. Continue to pray, please. We celebrated by going to the Cheese Cake Factory for and early dinner. However, the story is not over yet.......after accomplishing what I thought could not be done today and that was amazing, upon arriving home I was helping mom take her dress pants off and she became unbalanced and fell straight back on her back and hit her head on the wall. She has a lump on her head and after many attempts I finally was able to get her up. She's fine, but can you believe she goes through all what she did today and then at home where she should be safe her daughter almost kills her!!!!!! It would be funny if it hadn't been so scary. But all seems well and mom is resting and she is not in any pain from the biopsy or from me J.   Thanks to all of you for your warm and caring thoughts, you have no idea the strength you have given me.  I know this is not over yet but I feel that whatever happens we will be better prepared.  God bless all of you and I’ll update you when I hear the results.. 

ConnieSW said:

Mom

We will all be thinkingabout you and hope you get the information you need to make an informed decision without undue discomfort on you Mom's part.  Glad your new doc worked out.  I was able to switch PCP's recently and am so grateful.  She'swonderful and definitely has my back.

Connie,  Thank you for taking the time to comment.  All of the words of wisdom on this site has made me such a stronger person.  Who would have thought???  And you are right, having a doctor who you feel has your back is a huge comfort and helps to not feel like you are in this alone.  Below I've added an update on our progress.  Thank you so much and God Bless you.

NorahS said:

So very, very pleased for your Mom and your family

 

Very happy that it worked out!  I am smiling from ear to ear (although I'm sorry to hear about the bump on the head). 

With the information from the biopsy it will be possible to determine the options and from there determine the course of action.

 

 

PS - Darlene, I know it can be disappointing that we do not 'hear' back from others, however, unless I find out otherwise, I always assume that it's likely that those who do not return are usually doing well. My reasoning is that if they are currently doing well, they may have largely been able to put their diagnosis out of their mind. However, if they come here (particularly if they have one of the more uncommon aggressive tumor types - UPSC or MMMT) and read of recurrences - or even possible recurrences - it brings them down because it's a reminder of what they might yet have to face in the future.

And if this is the case, I don't hold it against them, in fact, I celebrate with them. We all have to do what we need to do because we have to survive as long as we can with a good QOL (Quality Of Life).  

Thank you Norah,  You are so right on both counts.  I'm sure some may be confused why I'm so happy even though I know this could lead to tough time ahead, but I was so afraid that we wouldn't know what we were dealing with and our plan of attack would be willy nilly or doing nothing at all.  We need that information.  And you are right about those that don't return to this site to keep us updated.  I will now consider they have good news and good things happening and the dire need to talk to someone has been lessened to the point that they can carry on without the extra support.  You are so wise.

Thank you,

Darlene  

jazzy1 said:

Darlene

Well you made it thru, even after moms fall at her home...gee!  Some how, by the grace of God we do endure.  Don't ask why, but we keep putting one foot in front of the other and get to where we are to be...might not be the best spot, but our spot at the moment.

Thanks for the kind words, as everyone on this site has been there for me during my beginnings on this cancer journey.  My turn to repay others with whatever type of support I can give.  Honestly I enjoy helping others, but know I'm no expert, just express what I've learned in hopes others can gain strength to get thru all the crazies with cancer diagnosis.

Now the wait for you and your mom and at least we can sorta laugh about the fall.  I know it could have been very serious, but in light of the stress of cancer, we have to find some positives and laughs along the way or we'll all go crazy.  As they say, LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE~

We're here for you, so plse keep us posted on the results.....

Jan

I will definitly keep you updated on our journey.  I've said this before too (I keep repeating myself) but I wished all of you ladies lived on my street so when someone said do you have any friends I could say....all of them.    Mom, this morning told me her head was okay but her butt was sore.  Our adventure continues.

By the way, I know some of you will read this but I have also contacted the American Cancer Society to put out a warning announcement about a pirvate message (via CSN) sent to me this morning regarding a request to help with a huge amount of funds from outside of the country.  The message plays on a persons emotions regarding donating the money to help the sick, etc., etc.  It is so obvious to me that it is scam probably sent from Nigeria.   I know that there are  many on this site that are sick, lonely and could be easy prey for these heartless crooks so ACS said they would do something (I'm not sure what yet) they are supposed to call me later today sometime.  But, in the meantime please be careful of this type of scam coming through as a private message within our network.  

Take care,

Darlene

Juno22 said:

Hi Jan

I will definitly keep you updated on our journey.  I've said this before too (I keep repeating myself) but I wished all of you ladies lived on my street so when someone said do you have any friends I could say....all of them.    Mom, this morning told me her head was okay but her butt was sore.  Our adventure continues.

By the way, I know some of you will read this but I have also contacted the American Cancer Society to put out a warning announcement about a pirvate message (via CSN) sent to me this morning regarding a request to help with a huge amount of funds from outside of the country.  The message plays on a persons emotions regarding donating the money to help the sick, etc., etc.  It is so obvious to me that it is scam probably sent from Nigeria.   I know that there are  many on this site that are sick, lonely and could be easy prey for these heartless crooks so ACS said they would do something (I'm not sure what yet) they are supposed to call me later today sometime.  But, in the meantime please be careful of this type of scam coming through as a private message within our network.  

Take care,

Darlene

Yesterday made it one week since mom's biopsy and we hadn't heard from the doctor so we gave her office a call today.  They said that mom's tissue taken during biopsy came back normal.  WHAT!!!!!   I can hardly believe it and I want to so much.  I know the doctor doesn't trust that's it's accurate because she wants to do another biopsy on mom to take more tissue.  I don't know what 'a lot' of tissue looks like but it seemed that the PA took a lot of stuff that filled up a small cup.  Maybe the doctor has more doubts because of mom's age and because she didn't personally do the biopsy (which I still think was a blessing).  But then again, what caused the bleeding. She still spots occasionally. They did say that mom's uterus lining showed some thickening but that's all we really know in addition to the tissue that was tested being normal.  God only knows how grateful I am for that.

Mom said she didn't mind doing another biopsy but I wonder if we shouldn't just take the blessing and run with it.  God gave me peace the day the PA was able to even do the biopsy and then keeping the doctor away to ensure the test was going to get done because I'm sure the doctor was NOT going to do the test.  What I do know is that we don't have to make a dicision today.  I think we want to enjoy the moment and then figure out what we need or should do.  I may leave this one up to mom.  Yes, she has alzheimers but she can still think.   

Ladies, I cannot say thank you enough for your words of wisdom and your selfless support.  I will pray for each and every one of you.  If we decide to continue with another biopsy I will keep you updated on the results.  

I wished you all lived next door (you may be tired of hearing that, but it's how I truly feel).

Darlene