agony

AZANNIE said:

LaCh

I almost didn't finish the last 5 radiation treatments because I felt so miserable. I ended up in the hospital with burns and neutropenia. I was disgusted with the radiation oncologist for not giving me a break, but ended up having my own break. My medical oncologist knew I wasn't pleased with the rad onc and he had a talk with him. After talking to my medical oncologist I decided to finish the last 5 treatments. I had about a 10 day break before the last 5 zaps. I was concerned about the cancer returning if I didn't finish. I understand your frustration. You're almost at the finish line. Hope you can hang in there. It does get better and healing is fast. Hope you find relief soon!

 

Ann

 

Thanks Azannie,

I also have an intense dislike for my radio oncologist, not necessarily for his medical expertise or lack thereof, but on a personal level. He lacks basic civility, basic courtesy, basic understanding of how to speak to another human being. He's arrogant and patronozing. He's physically and interpersonally clumsy and inept. The guy's an assh*le.  As for how he's handled the medical aspects of his job with relation to me, well, to give you an idea, his admonitions to me from the outset have been "no sitz baths."  I have 5 treatments left, including today's.  I think I can get through them, having found a strategy to do so, ill advised as it is (and as I know it is). I'm only taking fluids. I'm not eating any solid food.  If no one can help me control the incapaciting pain that I have when I go to the bathroom, I'll find my own solution and that's what I've done.  The external burns are getting worse as I close in on the finish line; hopefully, I'll be able to make it to the end without stopping.  I think your situation is a perfect example of the patronizing, arrogant attitude of too many doctors, that of "I know best and you know nothing.  I'll decide when your body has had enough."  In a profession in which listening is of paramount importance, doctors simply don't.  I have a medical background so my questions are often pointed and technical and medically well-versed and if something doesn't make sense to me medically, I'll say so and ask about it. That never goes over too well. I have a very low opinion of doctors. I try to enter a doctor/ patient relationship with an open mind but it always or almost always end up in the same place.  And sadly, I'm pretty easy to please. All I ask is, Listen to me,  take what I'm telling you seriously, treat me courteously and use what I'm telling you to help me because all I'm trying to do is impart information to you so that you can help me, nothing more.  Allow me to ask questions and participate in my own health care and if I decline a test or a treatment, don't take it as a personal affront. This is my body. I know it better than anyone else possibly can. I've had 59 years to get to know what it does and how it responds. Why would I turn its fate over to someone else whose understanding of it comes from academic study, experience (even years of experience) with other people's bodies and even a genuine desire to help. But it's my body. I know it's quirks and its limits.   So, you see, I don't ask for much, but it seems impossible to meet even these basic requirements.  Right now, I'm taking it one mug of tea at a time, one cup of broth at a time, one burn session at a time (because at this point, we're just burning the burns) and hoping for the best.  Thanks for your words of encouragement.