My mom died from EC 11/25/12

May U soon find rest & great memories of Mama flood your soul!




Dear Donna:

What does one say to a woman who has watched her dearly beloved “Mama” pass away before her very eyes? Donna, my heart aches as I read your letter. It’s obvious that you loved your Mother as deeply as she loved you. And I know she didn’t want to leave you anymore than you wanted to see her go. It is indeed a great loss, but I hope that you can grasp the meaning of a real Heaven where those who love God will go after death. In time I hope you will come to not be angry with the same God that gave you a wonderful mama. Personally, I think it pained God’s heart too and at the point that her pain became unbearable, He said enough is enough. And as for being angry with God, He isn’t mad with you, and He knows your pain too. He knows how much you’re hurting. After all, Jesus wept when his buddy Lazarus died.

Barrie has said it well. Why not search out a good counselor or pastor, and tell them exactly what you have told us? I know nothing makes sense now. But please don’t blame yourself. After all, only God can perform miracles and raise the dead. There was nothing you could have done that would have kept her from dying. That is the scary and awful thing about Esophageal Cancer. So many die far too soon. Many of us have lost loved ones also to this demon of a cancer. We know the pain you are feeling. You can’t see anything now for feeling the pain of your dear mother slipping from your grasp. As Barrie has said, in due time, and it may be a year or so, you will come to see the legacy Mom left for you. She has raised a dear daughter that must now carry on. Mama would be ever so disappointed to know that after her death, you felt like there was nothing left to live for. But it is natural to think to yourself, “What’s left in life for me?” Plenty Donna and after this period of deep and understandable grief, life will start to make sense again. And NO, you are not going crazy even though for a time it will seem like everybody’s got their feet firmly on the ground but you. But you will survive.

You also have given birth to some wonderful children. They are your Mama’s grandchildren. They need you just like you have needed your mama. You will honor her life most by carrying on her legacy, and leaving your children with wonderful memories of you, just like they have of Grandma. Better thoughts and better memories will come in due time. But we have seasons of life. There are times for living it up, and times for “seemingly falling apart for a time when our world is shattered.” This is truly a time for weeping, but you will recover. You will Donna ~ you will. Your mother would want you to carry on the tradition of providing stability and love to all those that remain in her family. She would not want you to despair of life. She has passed the torch to you. Honor her life by carrying it high Donna and carry it proudly. You will survive, and the desire to live will return. Too many are counting on you to be strong for them just like Mama was a tower of strength for you.

I read your letter late last night, and slept on it. I wandered, “Oh God” who will help Donna? So I printed it out, took it to church with me this morning. I talked personally with my pastor and asked him to put your name in the church bulletin so that others could pray for you to have the strength to carry on. God doesn’t need a last name. He knows where you live and He knows your heartache. My pastor prayed a moving prayer for you and your family. No my dear Donna, you have far more than a lock of hair and some ashes. I pray that you will soon come to believe that Mama is in Heaven and that you will see her again. Till then she would understand that your heart is broken but in due time I pray the wonderful memories will return and crowd out the pain you’re feeling now. So don’t give up on God or life. Too many people love a woman named Donna. You’re gonna’ make it!

“Flo”