The decision was made for us before treatment began - Bobbie

Thank you so much to everyone for thier help, advice, and prayers for Bobbie. Bobbie passed away Monday while at home. We had been trying to decide whether he should start treatment or whether it would be too much for him to take. He was diagnosed with Stage IV about four weeks ago. A week later he had a trech, chemo port, and feeding tube put in, was discharged about a week later to a nursing home because he had c-diff. He was there for about another five days and came home on Thursday. By Monday we took him to the ER because he had been unable to keep any food down by mouth and his g tube was infected. Saturday night at the hospital, Bobbie told us he didn't want treatment, just wanted to come home have a few beers and live his life the best he could. Sunday the hospital discharged him...it was odd, everytime bobbie had been discharged previously he would call us let us know he was being discharged and wait until we got there. Sunday he called us to let us know and then continued to call us non stop, he had a strange sense of inpatience we couldn't put our finger on. We got home about 6 PM on Sunday, he had a few beers and a few cigarettes. Throughout the evening, we were sitting in the den and he kept coming to the door way and would just stand there looking in the room and at us. We'd ask if he wanted to join us, how he was, did he want to talk. He would just say he was fine and walk away and return in another 20-30 minutes. Monday when he and my husband got up, they went for a walk in the park, came home and bobbie heated up some soup, they talked a while, curtis asking if he was okay, bobbie just replied, :Curtis I am fine, I'm just a little sick, I'll be okay." He said bobbie said something to him and then left the room, he went looking for him about ten minutes later and found him passed away in the bathroom. They believe it was a blood clot.

Looking back bobbie's odd sense of urgency to leave the hospital that he just couldn't wait to get home, combined with his coming to the door of the den all even just makes me feel like he knew. Maybe he didn't know he knew --- but somehow he sensed he had little time left, he wanted to get home and relax where he was comfortable. My husband was devasted to find him - that was one thing he didn't want to happen, he said from the beginning he didn't know if he could handle being the one to find bobbie...we assumed that as things progressed if that time came he would be in the hospital or hospice. i keep reassuring my husband that bobbie was more happier then he had been in a long time and would not have wanted to be anywhere else.

Thanks again to everyone for being there.