Sorry for wasting your time

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  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #22
    Ingrid K said:

    Dear Ditto
    as others have
    Dear Ditto
    as others have said, this is the place where you can say whatever you want. We have been there and know all too well of what you speak. Anyone who as gone thru this horrific treatment and say they didn't have a time were they lost it....well, they are lying. It happens to all of us at some point. Don't try and be a martyr -- let it out... It helps to scream and throw things.

    You are doing great in that you've come this far. This is a tough journey, but once you get thru all the treatments, it will all be worth it. You will have slayed the dragon and won !

    I was 55 going on 56 when I went thru treatment and I made it thru. You can do it too !

    Skiff: nice Stones' tribute on their 50th anniversary (Man, when did I get old ??)

    Saw That....
    They have a combined age of something like 272 years...LOL, unreal.

    Rock On....
    JG
  • ditto1
    ditto1 Member Posts: 660
    #23
    phrannie51 said:

    So well said, Laralyn....
    thank you for bucking me up, too...

    p

    Thanks to all of you
    who have been there done that or may do it at some point. Wow its just doggone tough appreciate your support and understanding
  • sonyk728
    sonyk728 Member Posts: 124
    #24
    ditto1 said:

    Thanks to all of you
    who have been there done that or may do it at some point. Wow its just doggone tough appreciate your support and understanding

    Hope you're doing better Ditto1!
    Was reading the entire thread of support, how wonderful. It sounds like you were at rock bottom. It wasn't too long ago I was so sick of being sick. I learned that being physically ill can take a tremendous toll emotionally. Hope you are doing better. And don't ever apologize or say "sorry for wasting your time". Take care!
  • katenorwood
    katenorwood Member Posts: 1,912
    #25
    Tim6003 said:

    Ditto ...
    Everything you shared is perfectly normal. You had the courage to share how you felt, and that is going to help someone who needs to let it out.

    When I got the call on a Friday night from my primary doctor at 6pm (she was calling me about the results of the scan that same day) ...I told her "if your calling at 6pm on Friday, this is not going to be good" ...she agreed then told me about the mass at the base of my tongue and the mets to the lymph node. I had done some homework (as most konw by now I am really bad and wanting to read and know statistics) and when I self-determined I must be at least stage III (unless by some miracle it was not cancer) and all I had read I would have to go through ...I had a good cry that night.

    I did not tell my wife for 5 days. Not until the night before we were to see the ENT did I tell her. Having lost my brother (1 year older than me, he was 49) to a brain tumor less than 12 months before, and having lost my Dad to acute Leukemia just 9 months before, I just did not know how to tell her. There was a pumpking festival we always attended that same weekend and I just did not want that cloud over my families head.

    Two days before we were to see my ENT and 2 days before I told my wife, my 8 year old son "West" asked me a question out of the blue right as I was sending him off to bed. You konw what that question was? He asked me "Dad, how old will I be when you die?" I swear Ditto it took all I had NOT to bawl like a baby. I just stared at him and said, "West, why did you ask me that question?!!" ....I told him what any Dad would, I told him none of us are guaranteed how long we will live. I could die in a car accident tomorrow, die of a heart attack in few years and to be honest I don't know how old he will be when I die". He looked at me and said "I hope I am a million years old when you die"!!! Then he ran off to bed...I went in the bathroom..turned the shower on (as if I were taking one) and cried like a baby....

    So now. I shared ONE of my down times and there were plenty!! And I will be honest and say it is hard as a guy to share that stuff (for me anyway) :) So you just hang in there Ditto...share away when you are down ....the bottom line is we care and you are on my nightly prayer list!!! I try very hard to say my prayers EVERY NIGHT (really) and rarely miss them bc I have so many dear friends on here I care about and I want the best for them.

    Whispered an extra one tonight that the pain and side affects of the tx will ease up and you will feel better!!!

    Best,

    Tim

    On a funny note: My oldest son Kohle (11) one night decided to he wanted to join me for my nightly prayers...the other night I asked if he wanted to join again and he steered away saying ..."too sleepy dad, your prayers take to long" ...LOL (only 20 minutes..but you know to an 11 year old that 20 hours) :):):)

    Out of the mouth of babes !
    Ditto 1 and Tim,
    You both brought tears to my eyes...but they aren't sad ones. I praise God I found this site, and all of you ! Even though we have never met face to face I carry you all with me in my heart and soul ! This ride we're all on stinks...but if I have to share it with anyone I'm so glad it's this CSA group ! Enough sentimental crap....have a fabulous day everyone ! Katie
  • Viilik70
    Viilik70 Member Posts: 73
    #26
    Sorry for wasting your time
    I know it's tough and my first time I had radiation I was 25 and they had to give me a week of rest in my last few weeks of raiation because I was so bad, BUT after that week, the way they explained it that I was going to heal faster that the radiation was going to burn me or something to that effect. It was true and I pulled through just like you will...trust me! God pulled me though way more than this and He will you too! Just a bump in the road and a month from now you will look back and be happy you weathered this little setback. Don't be upset you are depressed we've all been there and I can say with certainty that we all were and that's completely normal! I would think you were crazy if you were not! This is tough stuff, but that is what God and your family are for to lean on. Keep your chin up it does get better I promise! God bless! Just another tid bit I've been through radiation twice once when I was 25 and once when I was 39 (to the head & neck), your a fighter and you will too make it!
  • ditto1
    ditto1 Member Posts: 660
    #27
    Viilik70 said:

    Sorry for wasting your time
    I know it's tough and my first time I had radiation I was 25 and they had to give me a week of rest in my last few weeks of raiation because I was so bad, BUT after that week, the way they explained it that I was going to heal faster that the radiation was going to burn me or something to that effect. It was true and I pulled through just like you will...trust me! God pulled me though way more than this and He will you too! Just a bump in the road and a month from now you will look back and be happy you weathered this little setback. Don't be upset you are depressed we've all been there and I can say with certainty that we all were and that's completely normal! I would think you were crazy if you were not! This is tough stuff, but that is what God and your family are for to lean on. Keep your chin up it does get better I promise! God bless! Just another tid bit I've been through radiation twice once when I was 25 and once when I was 39 (to the head & neck), your a fighter and you will too make it!

    Very uplifting V70
    such young ages and to do it twice. Each time I come to this Blog I read each one over again, it just feels my heart with the way you folks can lift us up when we stumble. God Bless everyone for taking the time to help me off the floor. Yes today was better, see My Tongue is swelling blog I wrote today, it shows what a difference a day makes.

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