One year ago today.....

My loving husband passed away a year ago today from EC. Please keep our family in your prayers and thoughts today as we try to focus on the good things Brendon brought into our lives rather than the sadness we experienced on this day.

My prayers go to each of you on this site as I know the pain and struggles you have or are experiencing.

God Bless,
Susie
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Comments

  • BMGky
    BMGky Member Posts: 621
    Prayers for comfort in your
    Prayers for comfort in your memories.

    BMGky
  • Susie_Brendon
    Susie_Brendon Member Posts: 128
    a little update
    Brendon passed away on June 19, 2011 after a 4 month battle with esophageal cancer. Brendon was strong, healthy, and only 38 years old when he was diagnosed. After chemo & radiation, but prior to surgery, Brendon's cancer spread to the fluid in his abdomen. Dr. Luketich was still planning on operating (MIE) after an initial team would be filling his stomach up with liquid chemo, heating the chemo to a high temp, and then scraping all the lining to remove any cancer cells. Brendon was prepped and went into surgery. Within an hour (when the surgery should have lasted closer to 8 to 10 hours), Dr. Luketich came and sat with me. He explained how Brendon's cancer had not only spread to his abdomen but was basically covering him internally...small intestine, large intestine, cancer leading up to his liver. I took Brendon home from Pittsburgh shortly after we had him stabalized where he started a new, different kind of chemo. A blood clot to his lungs put Brendon back in the hospital. (Even though we had a filter put in to catch those nasty blood clots) He passed away 5 days later, on Father's Day. I miss Brendon so much but I know that he is watching over me and the girls.

    Our 3 year old daughter, asks me all the time... "When is Daddy going to wake up".... I'm not sure that question will ever get any easier to answer.
  • a little update
    Brendon passed away on June 19, 2011 after a 4 month battle with esophageal cancer. Brendon was strong, healthy, and only 38 years old when he was diagnosed. After chemo & radiation, but prior to surgery, Brendon's cancer spread to the fluid in his abdomen. Dr. Luketich was still planning on operating (MIE) after an initial team would be filling his stomach up with liquid chemo, heating the chemo to a high temp, and then scraping all the lining to remove any cancer cells. Brendon was prepped and went into surgery. Within an hour (when the surgery should have lasted closer to 8 to 10 hours), Dr. Luketich came and sat with me. He explained how Brendon's cancer had not only spread to his abdomen but was basically covering him internally...small intestine, large intestine, cancer leading up to his liver. I took Brendon home from Pittsburgh shortly after we had him stabalized where he started a new, different kind of chemo. A blood clot to his lungs put Brendon back in the hospital. (Even though we had a filter put in to catch those nasty blood clots) He passed away 5 days later, on Father's Day. I miss Brendon so much but I know that he is watching over me and the girls.

    Our 3 year old daughter, asks me all the time... "When is Daddy going to wake up".... I'm not sure that question will ever get any easier to answer.

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • Freida
    Freida Member Posts: 182

    a little update
    Brendon passed away on June 19, 2011 after a 4 month battle with esophageal cancer. Brendon was strong, healthy, and only 38 years old when he was diagnosed. After chemo & radiation, but prior to surgery, Brendon's cancer spread to the fluid in his abdomen. Dr. Luketich was still planning on operating (MIE) after an initial team would be filling his stomach up with liquid chemo, heating the chemo to a high temp, and then scraping all the lining to remove any cancer cells. Brendon was prepped and went into surgery. Within an hour (when the surgery should have lasted closer to 8 to 10 hours), Dr. Luketich came and sat with me. He explained how Brendon's cancer had not only spread to his abdomen but was basically covering him internally...small intestine, large intestine, cancer leading up to his liver. I took Brendon home from Pittsburgh shortly after we had him stabalized where he started a new, different kind of chemo. A blood clot to his lungs put Brendon back in the hospital. (Even though we had a filter put in to catch those nasty blood clots) He passed away 5 days later, on Father's Day. I miss Brendon so much but I know that he is watching over me and the girls.

    Our 3 year old daughter, asks me all the time... "When is Daddy going to wake up".... I'm not sure that question will ever get any easier to answer.

    Gosh Susie, in the 7 1/2
    Gosh Susie, in the 7 1/2 months since Bill was diagnosed I have learned more about this horrible cancer than I would have ever hoped to and did not think I could be shocked by it any more. But to read your story and how young your husband was and how rapid and aggressive the cancer, well words fail me. I am so very sorry for your loss and hope that you are able to find joy in your daughters and pleasure in seeing those parts of your dear husband that lives on in them. I hope the pain has become a little less raw as time goes on. Hugs to you and your girls.
  • FunGuy
    FunGuy Member Posts: 20
    Sorry
    This hit me hard, reading your post. I was 36 when they found my tumor and operated. It's changed my life radically but I'm still here kicking and screaming.

    Your husband looks like a great guy and a strong dude. Please be proud of the fact that you have made it through a very difficult year.

    -Paul
  • paul61
    paul61 Member Posts: 1,392 Member
    A year goes by so quickly
    Susie,

    It is amazing that it has been a year already. I remember well the shock of hearing that Brendon had passed away in the hospital. He seemed so young and strong and we all had such high hopes when you went to Pittsburgh. This cancer can do some very unexpected things. Those of us who are fortunate enough to still be here know each day is a gift.

    I remember what a strong advocate you were for Brendon. You were his caregiver, researcher, cheerleader, and protector.

    Prayers and positive thoughts headed your way


    Best Regards,

    Paul Adams
    Grand Blanc, Michigan

    DX 10/22/2009 T2N1M0 Stage IIB
    12/03/2009 Ivor Lewis
    2/8 through 6/14/2010 Adjuvant Chemo Cisplatin, Epirubicin, 5 FU
    Two year survivor

    Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!
  • stephikindred
    stephikindred Member Posts: 140

    a little update
    Brendon passed away on June 19, 2011 after a 4 month battle with esophageal cancer. Brendon was strong, healthy, and only 38 years old when he was diagnosed. After chemo & radiation, but prior to surgery, Brendon's cancer spread to the fluid in his abdomen. Dr. Luketich was still planning on operating (MIE) after an initial team would be filling his stomach up with liquid chemo, heating the chemo to a high temp, and then scraping all the lining to remove any cancer cells. Brendon was prepped and went into surgery. Within an hour (when the surgery should have lasted closer to 8 to 10 hours), Dr. Luketich came and sat with me. He explained how Brendon's cancer had not only spread to his abdomen but was basically covering him internally...small intestine, large intestine, cancer leading up to his liver. I took Brendon home from Pittsburgh shortly after we had him stabalized where he started a new, different kind of chemo. A blood clot to his lungs put Brendon back in the hospital. (Even though we had a filter put in to catch those nasty blood clots) He passed away 5 days later, on Father's Day. I miss Brendon so much but I know that he is watching over me and the girls.

    Our 3 year old daughter, asks me all the time... "When is Daddy going to wake up".... I'm not sure that question will ever get any easier to answer.

    Very Sorry, Susie
    What a heartbreaking story! Thank you for sharing it as I have joined the board more recently. I am very sorry for the loss of your dear husband. I can't imagine how difficult life is for you and your little ones without Brendon. Please know you all will be in my thoughts today and I am sending loving and positive thoughts to you all!

    Love,
    Stephanie
  • Daisylin
    Daisylin Member Posts: 365
    paul61 said:

    A year goes by so quickly
    Susie,

    It is amazing that it has been a year already. I remember well the shock of hearing that Brendon had passed away in the hospital. He seemed so young and strong and we all had such high hopes when you went to Pittsburgh. This cancer can do some very unexpected things. Those of us who are fortunate enough to still be here know each day is a gift.

    I remember what a strong advocate you were for Brendon. You were his caregiver, researcher, cheerleader, and protector.

    Prayers and positive thoughts headed your way


    Best Regards,

    Paul Adams
    Grand Blanc, Michigan

    DX 10/22/2009 T2N1M0 Stage IIB
    12/03/2009 Ivor Lewis
    2/8 through 6/14/2010 Adjuvant Chemo Cisplatin, Epirubicin, 5 FU
    Two year survivor

    Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!

    Susie,
    I, like Paul remember what a horrible shock it was to our little family when you lost your Brendon. My heart broke for you, and I still think of you and your positive, strong and upbeat attitude during your fight. You inspired me and many others with your knowledge, care and compassion.

    I now know the agony of losing your loved one, and I do feel your pain. I thank you for the update, and of course I am keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.

    Also, we have a smallish group on facebook, ladies that have lost our husbands to this horror of a disease. I'm sure you will remember some of them. Please let me know if you want to join us there, we try to keep it positive and supportive, although some days it's so hard!

    Be well, my friend
    Chantal
    wife of Lee
    deceased Nov 8, 2011
  • Bermudagirl
    Bermudagirl Member Posts: 114
    Daisylin said:

    Susie,
    I, like Paul remember what a horrible shock it was to our little family when you lost your Brendon. My heart broke for you, and I still think of you and your positive, strong and upbeat attitude during your fight. You inspired me and many others with your knowledge, care and compassion.

    I now know the agony of losing your loved one, and I do feel your pain. I thank you for the update, and of course I am keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.

    Also, we have a smallish group on facebook, ladies that have lost our husbands to this horror of a disease. I'm sure you will remember some of them. Please let me know if you want to join us there, we try to keep it positive and supportive, although some days it's so hard!

    Be well, my friend
    Chantal
    wife of Lee
    deceased Nov 8, 2011

    My deepest condolences to
    My deepest condolences to you.
  • Bermudagirl
    Bermudagirl Member Posts: 114
    Daisylin said:

    Susie,
    I, like Paul remember what a horrible shock it was to our little family when you lost your Brendon. My heart broke for you, and I still think of you and your positive, strong and upbeat attitude during your fight. You inspired me and many others with your knowledge, care and compassion.

    I now know the agony of losing your loved one, and I do feel your pain. I thank you for the update, and of course I am keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.

    Also, we have a smallish group on facebook, ladies that have lost our husbands to this horror of a disease. I'm sure you will remember some of them. Please let me know if you want to join us there, we try to keep it positive and supportive, although some days it's so hard!

    Be well, my friend
    Chantal
    wife of Lee
    deceased Nov 8, 2011

    My deepest condolences to
    My deepest condolences to you.
  • Bermudagirl
    Bermudagirl Member Posts: 114
    Daisylin said:

    Susie,
    I, like Paul remember what a horrible shock it was to our little family when you lost your Brendon. My heart broke for you, and I still think of you and your positive, strong and upbeat attitude during your fight. You inspired me and many others with your knowledge, care and compassion.

    I now know the agony of losing your loved one, and I do feel your pain. I thank you for the update, and of course I am keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.

    Also, we have a smallish group on facebook, ladies that have lost our husbands to this horror of a disease. I'm sure you will remember some of them. Please let me know if you want to join us there, we try to keep it positive and supportive, although some days it's so hard!

    Be well, my friend
    Chantal
    wife of Lee
    deceased Nov 8, 2011

    My deepest condolences to
    My deepest condolences to you.
  • bingbing2009
    bingbing2009 Member Posts: 177
    Susie, how very well I remember you and Brendon. My husband and I were just discussing the other day about you losing Brendan on Father's Day. It was such a shock--the loss of one so very young.

    My heart goes out to you. You remain in my thoughts and prayers.

    Sending hugs,
    Melinda

    DX October 2009: T3N1M0
    November and December 2009: chemo (Cisplatin and 5 FU) and radiation
    February 2010: Ivor Lewis surgery
  • GerryS
    GerryS Member Posts: 227 Member
    I remember your journey............
    Susie,
    Thanks for posting again and it really doesn't seem like it has been a year! I remember your journey and I will continue to offer my prayers for your young family. God Bless..

    Gerry
  • birdiequeen
    birdiequeen Member Posts: 319
    So glad to see your update
    I have been wondering how you and your girls are doing. I think of Brendon often as my husband works with Brendon's relative. I hadn't put it together until Brendon last hospital stay. We have missed your spirit here on the board. It is very nice to get your update and our hearts breaks with you on this day. There is much goodness to focus on and I pray you found that focus today.

    Take Care,
    Lee Ann
  • Susie_Brendon
    Susie_Brendon Member Posts: 128
    Thank you
    Words can not express the thank you each of you deserve for supporting families and friends who have to go through this horrible cancer.

    Last night my girls and I filled 40 (how old Brendon would have been) helium balloons. Inside each balloon we put a note with the EC ribbon, an EC fact, and photo of Brendon. We let them go outside "up to Heaven with daddy". Living in Kansas, we had a wonderful windy day to take the balloon high into the sky!

    Thank you again for everyone's kind thoughts, prayers, and love.

    Susie
  • Thank you
    Words can not express the thank you each of you deserve for supporting families and friends who have to go through this horrible cancer.

    Last night my girls and I filled 40 (how old Brendon would have been) helium balloons. Inside each balloon we put a note with the EC ribbon, an EC fact, and photo of Brendon. We let them go outside "up to Heaven with daddy". Living in Kansas, we had a wonderful windy day to take the balloon high into the sky!

    Thank you again for everyone's kind thoughts, prayers, and love.

    Susie

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • Susie_Brendon
    Susie_Brendon Member Posts: 128

    Susie, how very well I remember you and Brendon. My husband and I were just discussing the other day about you losing Brendan on Father's Day. It was such a shock--the loss of one so very young.

    My heart goes out to you. You remain in my thoughts and prayers.

    Sending hugs,
    Melinda

    DX October 2009: T3N1M0
    November and December 2009: chemo (Cisplatin and 5 FU) and radiation
    February 2010: Ivor Lewis surgery

    What a crappy week...
    Father's Day has always been a difficult day for me anyway. My dad died of cancer March 20th, 1998 so Father's Day was always sad. Father's Day falls in the same week of my dad's birthday, June 20th, (today!) and my parents anniversary (June 26th). Now my family will always remember Brendon losing to cancer on Father's Day and then again on his actual passing date (June 19th).

    Do you think there is anyway I can just skip the 3rd week of June??????

    Thanks Melinda for your message and for remembering Brendon and I.
  • Susie_Brendon
    Susie_Brendon Member Posts: 128

    Susie, how very well I remember you and Brendon. My husband and I were just discussing the other day about you losing Brendan on Father's Day. It was such a shock--the loss of one so very young.

    My heart goes out to you. You remain in my thoughts and prayers.

    Sending hugs,
    Melinda

    DX October 2009: T3N1M0
    November and December 2009: chemo (Cisplatin and 5 FU) and radiation
    February 2010: Ivor Lewis surgery

    couldn't delete duplicate post
    Sorry!
  • cher76
    cher76 Member Posts: 292

    Thank you
    Words can not express the thank you each of you deserve for supporting families and friends who have to go through this horrible cancer.

    Last night my girls and I filled 40 (how old Brendon would have been) helium balloons. Inside each balloon we put a note with the EC ribbon, an EC fact, and photo of Brendon. We let them go outside "up to Heaven with daddy". Living in Kansas, we had a wonderful windy day to take the balloon high into the sky!

    Thank you again for everyone's kind thoughts, prayers, and love.

    Susie

    Susie,
    I was so glad to see

    Susie,
    I was so glad to see your post here! I had been thinking about you lately and wondering how you were getting along. I don't frequent the site as much as I did before. Rickie lost his battle on Jan. 4, of this year. He was not a candidate for surgery and the cancer metastasized to his spine and eventually to his brain. It has been so hard, and even though we think we are prepared for it, I guess we never really are. I always enjoyed reading your posts as you always tried to stay upbeat in the face of this horrible disease. Love the balloon idea. Our youngest granddaughter, Avery, is 3 also, and she is constantly asking "When is Grandpa coming back from heaven?" One day shortly after Easter, when she asked my daughter that question, my daughter explained that he was in heaven with Jesus. Avery turned right around and said, "Well, Jesus came back from heaven!" How do you answer that?? Out of the mouth of babes...
    Know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers,
    Cheryl
    wife of Rickie dx Oct 2010 Stage IV EC
    Mets to bones and brain
    Deceased Jan. 4, 2012
  • Donna70
    Donna70 Member Posts: 852 Member
    cher76 said:

    Susie,
    I was so glad to see

    Susie,
    I was so glad to see your post here! I had been thinking about you lately and wondering how you were getting along. I don't frequent the site as much as I did before. Rickie lost his battle on Jan. 4, of this year. He was not a candidate for surgery and the cancer metastasized to his spine and eventually to his brain. It has been so hard, and even though we think we are prepared for it, I guess we never really are. I always enjoyed reading your posts as you always tried to stay upbeat in the face of this horrible disease. Love the balloon idea. Our youngest granddaughter, Avery, is 3 also, and she is constantly asking "When is Grandpa coming back from heaven?" One day shortly after Easter, when she asked my daughter that question, my daughter explained that he was in heaven with Jesus. Avery turned right around and said, "Well, Jesus came back from heaven!" How do you answer that?? Out of the mouth of babes...
    Know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers,
    Cheryl
    wife of Rickie dx Oct 2010 Stage IV EC
    Mets to bones and brain
    Deceased Jan. 4, 2012

    just so sorry about all these anniversary dates
    Dear Susie,
    So sorry, I remember your struggles well and Brendon's fight to get more time. Cannot believe it is a year. So sorry too that all these unhappy days have occurred around the exact time of year, like all the hurt clumped into one-two weeks. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Tell your little girl, Daddy is awake but in a different place and watching over her with so much love. You will find your own right words in your own good time. many hugs,
    Donna70