One year ago today.....
My prayers go to each of you on this site as I know the pain and struggles you have or are experiencing.
God Bless,
Susie
Comments
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a little update
Brendon passed away on June 19, 2011 after a 4 month battle with esophageal cancer. Brendon was strong, healthy, and only 38 years old when he was diagnosed. After chemo & radiation, but prior to surgery, Brendon's cancer spread to the fluid in his abdomen. Dr. Luketich was still planning on operating (MIE) after an initial team would be filling his stomach up with liquid chemo, heating the chemo to a high temp, and then scraping all the lining to remove any cancer cells. Brendon was prepped and went into surgery. Within an hour (when the surgery should have lasted closer to 8 to 10 hours), Dr. Luketich came and sat with me. He explained how Brendon's cancer had not only spread to his abdomen but was basically covering him internally...small intestine, large intestine, cancer leading up to his liver. I took Brendon home from Pittsburgh shortly after we had him stabalized where he started a new, different kind of chemo. A blood clot to his lungs put Brendon back in the hospital. (Even though we had a filter put in to catch those nasty blood clots) He passed away 5 days later, on Father's Day. I miss Brendon so much but I know that he is watching over me and the girls.
Our 3 year old daughter, asks me all the time... "When is Daddy going to wake up".... I'm not sure that question will ever get any easier to answer.0 -
This comment has been removed by the ModeratorSusie_Brendon said:a little update
Brendon passed away on June 19, 2011 after a 4 month battle with esophageal cancer. Brendon was strong, healthy, and only 38 years old when he was diagnosed. After chemo & radiation, but prior to surgery, Brendon's cancer spread to the fluid in his abdomen. Dr. Luketich was still planning on operating (MIE) after an initial team would be filling his stomach up with liquid chemo, heating the chemo to a high temp, and then scraping all the lining to remove any cancer cells. Brendon was prepped and went into surgery. Within an hour (when the surgery should have lasted closer to 8 to 10 hours), Dr. Luketich came and sat with me. He explained how Brendon's cancer had not only spread to his abdomen but was basically covering him internally...small intestine, large intestine, cancer leading up to his liver. I took Brendon home from Pittsburgh shortly after we had him stabalized where he started a new, different kind of chemo. A blood clot to his lungs put Brendon back in the hospital. (Even though we had a filter put in to catch those nasty blood clots) He passed away 5 days later, on Father's Day. I miss Brendon so much but I know that he is watching over me and the girls.
Our 3 year old daughter, asks me all the time... "When is Daddy going to wake up".... I'm not sure that question will ever get any easier to answer.0 -
Gosh Susie, in the 7 1/2Susie_Brendon said:a little update
Brendon passed away on June 19, 2011 after a 4 month battle with esophageal cancer. Brendon was strong, healthy, and only 38 years old when he was diagnosed. After chemo & radiation, but prior to surgery, Brendon's cancer spread to the fluid in his abdomen. Dr. Luketich was still planning on operating (MIE) after an initial team would be filling his stomach up with liquid chemo, heating the chemo to a high temp, and then scraping all the lining to remove any cancer cells. Brendon was prepped and went into surgery. Within an hour (when the surgery should have lasted closer to 8 to 10 hours), Dr. Luketich came and sat with me. He explained how Brendon's cancer had not only spread to his abdomen but was basically covering him internally...small intestine, large intestine, cancer leading up to his liver. I took Brendon home from Pittsburgh shortly after we had him stabalized where he started a new, different kind of chemo. A blood clot to his lungs put Brendon back in the hospital. (Even though we had a filter put in to catch those nasty blood clots) He passed away 5 days later, on Father's Day. I miss Brendon so much but I know that he is watching over me and the girls.
Our 3 year old daughter, asks me all the time... "When is Daddy going to wake up".... I'm not sure that question will ever get any easier to answer.
Gosh Susie, in the 7 1/2 months since Bill was diagnosed I have learned more about this horrible cancer than I would have ever hoped to and did not think I could be shocked by it any more. But to read your story and how young your husband was and how rapid and aggressive the cancer, well words fail me. I am so very sorry for your loss and hope that you are able to find joy in your daughters and pleasure in seeing those parts of your dear husband that lives on in them. I hope the pain has become a little less raw as time goes on. Hugs to you and your girls.0 -
Sorry
This hit me hard, reading your post. I was 36 when they found my tumor and operated. It's changed my life radically but I'm still here kicking and screaming.
Your husband looks like a great guy and a strong dude. Please be proud of the fact that you have made it through a very difficult year.
-Paul0 -
A year goes by so quickly
Susie,
It is amazing that it has been a year already. I remember well the shock of hearing that Brendon had passed away in the hospital. He seemed so young and strong and we all had such high hopes when you went to Pittsburgh. This cancer can do some very unexpected things. Those of us who are fortunate enough to still be here know each day is a gift.
I remember what a strong advocate you were for Brendon. You were his caregiver, researcher, cheerleader, and protector.
Prayers and positive thoughts headed your way
Best Regards,
Paul Adams
Grand Blanc, Michigan
DX 10/22/2009 T2N1M0 Stage IIB
12/03/2009 Ivor Lewis
2/8 through 6/14/2010 Adjuvant Chemo Cisplatin, Epirubicin, 5 FU
Two year survivor
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!0 -
Very Sorry, SusieSusie_Brendon said:a little update
Brendon passed away on June 19, 2011 after a 4 month battle with esophageal cancer. Brendon was strong, healthy, and only 38 years old when he was diagnosed. After chemo & radiation, but prior to surgery, Brendon's cancer spread to the fluid in his abdomen. Dr. Luketich was still planning on operating (MIE) after an initial team would be filling his stomach up with liquid chemo, heating the chemo to a high temp, and then scraping all the lining to remove any cancer cells. Brendon was prepped and went into surgery. Within an hour (when the surgery should have lasted closer to 8 to 10 hours), Dr. Luketich came and sat with me. He explained how Brendon's cancer had not only spread to his abdomen but was basically covering him internally...small intestine, large intestine, cancer leading up to his liver. I took Brendon home from Pittsburgh shortly after we had him stabalized where he started a new, different kind of chemo. A blood clot to his lungs put Brendon back in the hospital. (Even though we had a filter put in to catch those nasty blood clots) He passed away 5 days later, on Father's Day. I miss Brendon so much but I know that he is watching over me and the girls.
Our 3 year old daughter, asks me all the time... "When is Daddy going to wake up".... I'm not sure that question will ever get any easier to answer.
What a heartbreaking story! Thank you for sharing it as I have joined the board more recently. I am very sorry for the loss of your dear husband. I can't imagine how difficult life is for you and your little ones without Brendon. Please know you all will be in my thoughts today and I am sending loving and positive thoughts to you all!
Love,
Stephanie0 -
Susie,paul61 said:A year goes by so quickly
Susie,
It is amazing that it has been a year already. I remember well the shock of hearing that Brendon had passed away in the hospital. He seemed so young and strong and we all had such high hopes when you went to Pittsburgh. This cancer can do some very unexpected things. Those of us who are fortunate enough to still be here know each day is a gift.
I remember what a strong advocate you were for Brendon. You were his caregiver, researcher, cheerleader, and protector.
Prayers and positive thoughts headed your way
Best Regards,
Paul Adams
Grand Blanc, Michigan
DX 10/22/2009 T2N1M0 Stage IIB
12/03/2009 Ivor Lewis
2/8 through 6/14/2010 Adjuvant Chemo Cisplatin, Epirubicin, 5 FU
Two year survivor
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance!
I, like Paul remember what a horrible shock it was to our little family when you lost your Brendon. My heart broke for you, and I still think of you and your positive, strong and upbeat attitude during your fight. You inspired me and many others with your knowledge, care and compassion.
I now know the agony of losing your loved one, and I do feel your pain. I thank you for the update, and of course I am keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Also, we have a smallish group on facebook, ladies that have lost our husbands to this horror of a disease. I'm sure you will remember some of them. Please let me know if you want to join us there, we try to keep it positive and supportive, although some days it's so hard!
Be well, my friend
Chantal
wife of Lee
deceased Nov 8, 20110 -
My deepest condolences toDaisylin said:Susie,
I, like Paul remember what a horrible shock it was to our little family when you lost your Brendon. My heart broke for you, and I still think of you and your positive, strong and upbeat attitude during your fight. You inspired me and many others with your knowledge, care and compassion.
I now know the agony of losing your loved one, and I do feel your pain. I thank you for the update, and of course I am keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Also, we have a smallish group on facebook, ladies that have lost our husbands to this horror of a disease. I'm sure you will remember some of them. Please let me know if you want to join us there, we try to keep it positive and supportive, although some days it's so hard!
Be well, my friend
Chantal
wife of Lee
deceased Nov 8, 2011
My deepest condolences to you.0 -
My deepest condolences toDaisylin said:Susie,
I, like Paul remember what a horrible shock it was to our little family when you lost your Brendon. My heart broke for you, and I still think of you and your positive, strong and upbeat attitude during your fight. You inspired me and many others with your knowledge, care and compassion.
I now know the agony of losing your loved one, and I do feel your pain. I thank you for the update, and of course I am keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Also, we have a smallish group on facebook, ladies that have lost our husbands to this horror of a disease. I'm sure you will remember some of them. Please let me know if you want to join us there, we try to keep it positive and supportive, although some days it's so hard!
Be well, my friend
Chantal
wife of Lee
deceased Nov 8, 2011
My deepest condolences to you.0 -
My deepest condolences toDaisylin said:Susie,
I, like Paul remember what a horrible shock it was to our little family when you lost your Brendon. My heart broke for you, and I still think of you and your positive, strong and upbeat attitude during your fight. You inspired me and many others with your knowledge, care and compassion.
I now know the agony of losing your loved one, and I do feel your pain. I thank you for the update, and of course I am keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Also, we have a smallish group on facebook, ladies that have lost our husbands to this horror of a disease. I'm sure you will remember some of them. Please let me know if you want to join us there, we try to keep it positive and supportive, although some days it's so hard!
Be well, my friend
Chantal
wife of Lee
deceased Nov 8, 2011
My deepest condolences to you.0 -
Susie, how very well I remember you and Brendon. My husband and I were just discussing the other day about you losing Brendan on Father's Day. It was such a shock--the loss of one so very young.
My heart goes out to you. You remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Sending hugs,
Melinda
DX October 2009: T3N1M0
November and December 2009: chemo (Cisplatin and 5 FU) and radiation
February 2010: Ivor Lewis surgery0 -
So glad to see your update
I have been wondering how you and your girls are doing. I think of Brendon often as my husband works with Brendon's relative. I hadn't put it together until Brendon last hospital stay. We have missed your spirit here on the board. It is very nice to get your update and our hearts breaks with you on this day. There is much goodness to focus on and I pray you found that focus today.
Take Care,
Lee Ann0 -
Thank you
Words can not express the thank you each of you deserve for supporting families and friends who have to go through this horrible cancer.
Last night my girls and I filled 40 (how old Brendon would have been) helium balloons. Inside each balloon we put a note with the EC ribbon, an EC fact, and photo of Brendon. We let them go outside "up to Heaven with daddy". Living in Kansas, we had a wonderful windy day to take the balloon high into the sky!
Thank you again for everyone's kind thoughts, prayers, and love.
Susie0 -
This comment has been removed by the ModeratorSusie_Brendon said:Thank you
Words can not express the thank you each of you deserve for supporting families and friends who have to go through this horrible cancer.
Last night my girls and I filled 40 (how old Brendon would have been) helium balloons. Inside each balloon we put a note with the EC ribbon, an EC fact, and photo of Brendon. We let them go outside "up to Heaven with daddy". Living in Kansas, we had a wonderful windy day to take the balloon high into the sky!
Thank you again for everyone's kind thoughts, prayers, and love.
Susie0 -
What a crappy week...bingbing2009 said:Susie, how very well I remember you and Brendon. My husband and I were just discussing the other day about you losing Brendan on Father's Day. It was such a shock--the loss of one so very young.
My heart goes out to you. You remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Sending hugs,
Melinda
DX October 2009: T3N1M0
November and December 2009: chemo (Cisplatin and 5 FU) and radiation
February 2010: Ivor Lewis surgery
Father's Day has always been a difficult day for me anyway. My dad died of cancer March 20th, 1998 so Father's Day was always sad. Father's Day falls in the same week of my dad's birthday, June 20th, (today!) and my parents anniversary (June 26th). Now my family will always remember Brendon losing to cancer on Father's Day and then again on his actual passing date (June 19th).
Do you think there is anyway I can just skip the 3rd week of June??????
Thanks Melinda for your message and for remembering Brendon and I.0 -
couldn't delete duplicate postbingbing2009 said:Susie, how very well I remember you and Brendon. My husband and I were just discussing the other day about you losing Brendan on Father's Day. It was such a shock--the loss of one so very young.
My heart goes out to you. You remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Sending hugs,
Melinda
DX October 2009: T3N1M0
November and December 2009: chemo (Cisplatin and 5 FU) and radiation
February 2010: Ivor Lewis surgery
Sorry!0 -
Susie,Susie_Brendon said:Thank you
Words can not express the thank you each of you deserve for supporting families and friends who have to go through this horrible cancer.
Last night my girls and I filled 40 (how old Brendon would have been) helium balloons. Inside each balloon we put a note with the EC ribbon, an EC fact, and photo of Brendon. We let them go outside "up to Heaven with daddy". Living in Kansas, we had a wonderful windy day to take the balloon high into the sky!
Thank you again for everyone's kind thoughts, prayers, and love.
Susie
I was so glad to see
Susie,
I was so glad to see your post here! I had been thinking about you lately and wondering how you were getting along. I don't frequent the site as much as I did before. Rickie lost his battle on Jan. 4, of this year. He was not a candidate for surgery and the cancer metastasized to his spine and eventually to his brain. It has been so hard, and even though we think we are prepared for it, I guess we never really are. I always enjoyed reading your posts as you always tried to stay upbeat in the face of this horrible disease. Love the balloon idea. Our youngest granddaughter, Avery, is 3 also, and she is constantly asking "When is Grandpa coming back from heaven?" One day shortly after Easter, when she asked my daughter that question, my daughter explained that he was in heaven with Jesus. Avery turned right around and said, "Well, Jesus came back from heaven!" How do you answer that?? Out of the mouth of babes...
Know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers,
Cheryl
wife of Rickie dx Oct 2010 Stage IV EC
Mets to bones and brain
Deceased Jan. 4, 20120 -
just so sorry about all these anniversary datescher76 said:Susie,
I was so glad to see
Susie,
I was so glad to see your post here! I had been thinking about you lately and wondering how you were getting along. I don't frequent the site as much as I did before. Rickie lost his battle on Jan. 4, of this year. He was not a candidate for surgery and the cancer metastasized to his spine and eventually to his brain. It has been so hard, and even though we think we are prepared for it, I guess we never really are. I always enjoyed reading your posts as you always tried to stay upbeat in the face of this horrible disease. Love the balloon idea. Our youngest granddaughter, Avery, is 3 also, and she is constantly asking "When is Grandpa coming back from heaven?" One day shortly after Easter, when she asked my daughter that question, my daughter explained that he was in heaven with Jesus. Avery turned right around and said, "Well, Jesus came back from heaven!" How do you answer that?? Out of the mouth of babes...
Know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers,
Cheryl
wife of Rickie dx Oct 2010 Stage IV EC
Mets to bones and brain
Deceased Jan. 4, 2012
Dear Susie,
So sorry, I remember your struggles well and Brendon's fight to get more time. Cannot believe it is a year. So sorry too that all these unhappy days have occurred around the exact time of year, like all the hurt clumped into one-two weeks. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Tell your little girl, Daddy is awake but in a different place and watching over her with so much love. You will find your own right words in your own good time. many hugs,
Donna700
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