Two weeks post-op today!

New here, so a bit of background. I am 54 and on February 14th went in for my annual mammogram. (Great way to "love myself", right?)

On the 15th I got the callback. I've had those several times for this and that, so really was not terribly concerned, but when I went in the radiologist showed me the pictures - calcifications were definitely something that had never before been mentioned. So, more imaging on the 16th, a stereotactic biopsy on the 20th, and on the 22nd, "We found cancer. I'm so sorry."

Wow. Cancer. Me? They must have the wrong patient. They mixed up the records. This can't be happening. Yet, there were the nurse, the radiology tech, both coming over to hold and hug me, the radiologist holding my hand, the looks of compassion in their eyes.

I heard, "It's an early stage. If you have to have breast cancer, this is the one to have." I'm thinking, "What - like being a little bit pregnant?"

I didn't cry. I got dressed (had been there to try to drain a large hematoma that had developed during the biopsy), drove myself home, called my man-friend, whom I was living with at the time, and tried to process what I'd heard.

The next month was a whirlwind. The relationship with "John" deteriorated. I had to tell my children, including my daughter, who is pregnant with their third child (that was the hardest!). I missed my husband terribly (after 34 years together, he'd suffered a sudden heart attack in 2007 and passed away). My son and daughter-in-law wanted me to come to stay with them for a time - I knew that I would need the help, I knew the relationship with "John" was unsustainable, so I packed up my things and left to move from relatively rural Wisconsin to Minneapolis. In the process, my DIL, an RN, urged me to seek a second opinion.

So glad that I did that! At the Piper Breast Center, they took another look at my mammogram images and found several additional areas of suspicious calcification. An MRI showed another lesion on the other side of the breast. The "lumpectomy" that the Wisconsin surgeon I'd seen one time would not be happening; I needed a mastectomy.

It was DCIS - yes, if one has to have breast cancer, that's the one to have. Grade 3, though, and rather widespread, which meant that they really wanted to get things moving quickly.

I had to make the very difficult decision to find a new home (and I found a fabulous one!) for the springer spaniel puppy I'd gotten for Christmas. He was only 5 months old and very much still a puppy - I knew I could not care for him, complete his training, etc. with all I'd be going through. He needed more than I could give. It was heartbreaking, but his new dad stays in daily touch, sends lots of photos and videos, has promised to bring him back for a visit when I'm up for it... and I am invited there, as well, to visit Gabriel anytime. His new dad is planning to train Gabriel as a therapy dog. He'll make a great one!

I spent the next couple of weeks scrambling around to change insurance companies, making the usual round of appointments - Internal Med doc for the pre-surgical consult, surgeon who would perform the mastectomy, plastic surgeon, coordinators, an MRI of my lower back because of ongoing pain (found a torn and herniated disk plus a little fracture in the sacrum; I fell in January), a bone scan. In the process, I ended up opting for bilateral mastectomy. Turned out to be a wiser choice than I'd thought when the final pathology reports came back - in addition to the DCIS, they found LCIS. I have no regrets about that.

And I waited. For this test result, for that test result. It was maddening, all of that waiting.

On March 16th, I had the surgery. Everyone was wonderful at the hospital. I went home the 18th. The first week was pretty brutal (in retrospect, I wish I'd not tried to be so stoic and taken the pain pills more regularly, but I don't like the things). My family was as supportive as can be - I had a built-in private nurse in my RN daughter-in-love, and another dear RN friend came to stay for a few days to give Amanda a break when she had to return to work. Another son came from Madison to stay as well and was there while I was in the hospital. I have to say I have wonderful children!

Things are going well. I think I will be getting the drains out today. Having been on estrogen for 8 years since a hysterectomy with ovary removal, naturally that had to be suddenly stopped, so I am going through a rather sudden menopause-like experience, but that has been fairly mild.

I chose to start reconstruction (I will have implants) immediately. The tissue expanders are in place and hopefully within a couple of weeks I'll start the fill process. (The PS did fill them a bit during the initial procedure, so I'm not totally flat, but not quite an "A" and I was a "C-" before).

There have been a couple of bumps in the road - some problems from the antibiotics, a bit of an infection at one of the drain sites, and some I brought on myself by trying to be Superwoman - but all in all I think I'm doing great, physically.

Emotionally - it varies from day to day. Some days I feel strong, have a sense of humor about the whole thing, and other days I spend crying and don't even feel like getting dressed. I suppose all of the recent losses and chaos, plus aftereffects of the surgery, plus hormonal changes, plus some depression I've had for years... well, I guess I'm doing well in the emotional realm as well, considering.

There's still a lot ahead, and I hope to find friends here to share the journey with. I have big shoulders and a big heart and I'm sure you do, as well, so none of us has to be alone.

Icefishinglady (yes, I really do fish through holes in ice, and fish for muskies and bass in the summertime, and am a pretty good shot, too, LOL)