dr issues

i am writeing this for my wife whom is my best friend (22yrs )besides cancer she has lupus rematoid mitral valve and apls. we found out after much run around she had anal cancer that is also in some lymph nodes all below the pelvis . she has done one round of 5 fu and mito and after missing two weeks just had her 15 th rad treatment with 15 to go.our problem is our oncologist, she just does not seem to be taking good care of her. when she was dehydrated and had nausea she would not try any other meds but compasine and zofran, when they did not work(3 days after her pump came off) it was a bug , according to her. not the chemo.... that landed her 6 days in hospital with a ng tube and drs there tough it was the chemo. when itold the oncologist and her nurse what i learened here it made no differance. thank goodness for our lupus dr, he stepped in and treated everything. she is wanting to do what she calls full blown chemo a month after we do 5 fu a the end of rad. without even checking to see if she responded i hear her jokeing with other patiens but not us ... makes me worried sick ..seems like everything is not her deal. especially if its not what she expects , i don't want to chance dr.s in the middle of treatment , i have our lupus dr, we have know for 15 years to back us up.. i just do not know what to do. thanks for letting me vent .. our rad dr. and nurse are fantastic by the way but they only do so much...thanks again dac