I need a little advice.
I have a new oncologist, have had her for 3 months. We dont get along very well but they say shes the best in the area dealing with breast cancer.
In Jan we got in a yelling match over the fact i got my test results at the hospital and didnt wait to see her( this was the first time i meet her and gotten my results early, I when in for a bone scan and the nice lady told me the results were in for my petsan and asked me if i wanted them. how could i say no right)
Feb I asked her for the results of my tumor marker test she had taken in Jan, she point blank told me I didnt have one done ( I know i did due to having to go back to the lab a second time to have it drawn) after leaving her I when out on the chemo floor for my monthly shot and asked for the results and the nurse gave them to me.
March, I had a very hard time going in there this month.( i have never done well with seeing doctors) We sit down and she starts the normal routen, asking questions about pain and hot flashes. when i tell her im having problems she tells me Ijust have to deal with them. Why ask me then Grrrrr. Then i ask her when we will do the next petscan? she told me wewould just wait till the tumor maker test or till I had problems t do one. you know the national deebt is to high dont want to add to that.
I have been in remision since july, but im scared of just waiting. yes I worried about the national deebt but not as much as I am about being here for my kids. this just doesnt sound right. my family says to stay with her becouse shes the best, but im notsure shes the best for me.
thank you and sorry this is so long.
Comments
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I would find NEW Dr
I would find NEW Dr asap....
Denise.
sorry you are going through this...I just changed gastro (due to mine leaving) and not sure yet if I like her...already considering looking for someone else..0 -
kick her to the curb. if itdisneyfan2008 said:I would find NEW Dr
I would find NEW Dr asap....
Denise.
sorry you are going through this...I just changed gastro (due to mine leaving) and not sure yet if I like her...already considering looking for someone else..
kick her to the curb. if it helps, i have never had a Pet. My doc does not do these routinely unless there are symptoms!0 -
thank youdisneyfan2008 said:I would find NEW Dr
I would find NEW Dr asap....
Denise.
sorry you are going through this...I just changed gastro (due to mine leaving) and not sure yet if I like her...already considering looking for someone else..
I was thinking the same thing, I know everyones fight is diff as is there treatments. however is there any somewhat normal testing schedule? I know one person its every 3 months but he has lung cancer and another who has it every 6 months not sure what her normal is0 -
Whoa!mzl0ve said:thank you
I was thinking the same thing, I know everyones fight is diff as is there treatments. however is there any somewhat normal testing schedule? I know one person its every 3 months but he has lung cancer and another who has it every 6 months not sure what her normal is
My advice is going to be a little different. You've already changed oncologists once and have only been with her 3 months. It doesn't sound like you're seeking another opinion, you just don't like how you feel she is treating you. My advice is to give her another chance if you can find a way to and have a frank discussion with her. You're not "a patient/case" you're an individual with your own set of needs from your physician. Your needs might not match what she is willing to provide - and that means it's time to move on.
Regarding the standard of care you can visit the NCCN website and get the guidelines for your specific cancer follow-up. There is a patient version http://www.nccn.org/patients/patient_guidelines/breast/index.html that is excellent. If you have questions about your follow-up, you can use this as a guide for having a conversation with her, and ask her why she is recommending a different route.
I've heard too many stories lately about bad mojo between a patient and oncologist. Sometimes, we're just a bad match for each other. There's an emotional toll in starting over with another oncologist, but sometimes it's important to go through that to get to a place of trust. Do you trust the medical care you're receiving? I think the guidelines might help you with that decision and then you can deal with the emotional stuff of either staying or changing.
Good luck.
Suzanne0 -
A little sensitivity goes a long way
She sounds like she is not in the right profession. I wouldn't deal well with a snapping turtle biting at every comment I make about something so important.
I would find another Dr, and make sure that you have your complaints heard by her superior at work. No excuse for a health professional to preach the national debt to you. How rude. I want to slap her!
Sorry, but she sounds horrible and you don't deseve that treatment0 -
NEW ONCOLOGIST!Double Whammy said:Whoa!
My advice is going to be a little different. You've already changed oncologists once and have only been with her 3 months. It doesn't sound like you're seeking another opinion, you just don't like how you feel she is treating you. My advice is to give her another chance if you can find a way to and have a frank discussion with her. You're not "a patient/case" you're an individual with your own set of needs from your physician. Your needs might not match what she is willing to provide - and that means it's time to move on.
Regarding the standard of care you can visit the NCCN website and get the guidelines for your specific cancer follow-up. There is a patient version http://www.nccn.org/patients/patient_guidelines/breast/index.html that is excellent. If you have questions about your follow-up, you can use this as a guide for having a conversation with her, and ask her why she is recommending a different route.
I've heard too many stories lately about bad mojo between a patient and oncologist. Sometimes, we're just a bad match for each other. There's an emotional toll in starting over with another oncologist, but sometimes it's important to go through that to get to a place of trust. Do you trust the medical care you're receiving? I think the guidelines might help you with that decision and then you can deal with the emotional stuff of either staying or changing.
Good luck.
Suzanne
Find someone who shows you the respect and kindness you deserve. Fire her!
Roseann0 -
Find a new doctor! She madeBattscave said:A little sensitivity goes a long way
She sounds like she is not in the right profession. I wouldn't deal well with a snapping turtle biting at every comment I make about something so important.
I would find another Dr, and make sure that you have your complaints heard by her superior at work. No excuse for a health professional to preach the national debt to you. How rude. I want to slap her!
Sorry, but she sounds horrible and you don't deseve that treatment
Find a new doctor! She made ME mad.0 -
thank you everyoneLighthouse_7 said:Find a new doctor! She made
Find a new doctor! She made ME mad.
I sure do miss my old docter he has been promoted and no longer treating anyone. I normally am a very easy going person. I didnt pick her as a docter, before i had her i went 6 months seeing PAs. The cancer center set me with her,becouse she had openings. thank you everyone for you info and thoughts. I see one of the PAs next month ( one that is very nice) and i will be talking to her asking about changing doctors. as far as testing Im ok not having it done all the time, more time to live with out worries. I just want to make sure I dont need it done, not becouse of the insurance I have0 -
I think Suzanne's advice ismzl0ve said:thank you everyone
I sure do miss my old docter he has been promoted and no longer treating anyone. I normally am a very easy going person. I didnt pick her as a docter, before i had her i went 6 months seeing PAs. The cancer center set me with her,becouse she had openings. thank you everyone for you info and thoughts. I see one of the PAs next month ( one that is very nice) and i will be talking to her asking about changing doctors. as far as testing Im ok not having it done all the time, more time to live with out worries. I just want to make sure I dont need it done, not becouse of the insurance I have
I think Suzanne's advice is the most sound. Find out the protocol and then have a civilized, respectful conversation with her. It is important that you respect each other. Remember, she works for you. You pay her - she doesn't pay you. She is not doing you a favor. This is her job. Good luck.
Pam0 -
Hi
I too had one of the
Hi I too had one of the "best" oncologists in the area, and I finally got fed up with him not listening to me and treating me like an individual rather than "just another cancer patient". I asked around locally, and went to see another oncologist for a second opinion, and I've been so much more at ease with everything since. You have every right to find a doctor with whom you are comfortable and who you trust, and I'd say ask around for recommendations and find a doctor who treats you better. You deserve better!
*hugs*
heather0 -
and dont apologize for
and dont apologize for writing a long post!! that's what we're here for! you should see some of the small books ive written on here myself!!0 -
I would absolutely changeHeatherbelle said:and dont apologize for
and dont apologize for writing a long post!! that's what we're here for! you should see some of the small books ive written on here myself!!
I would absolutely change ASAP! For any doctor/ patient relationship to be successful (and especially where cancer is involved), the patient has to absolutely trust the doc and feel that her best interests are being served, and that all her questions are being honestly and thoroughly answered. She should not be lying to you and yelling at you. I could never trust her after that.
Good luck to you!
Angie0 -
kick her to the curb!!
Well, that is my advice.
Someone says she is the best in the area - who is "someone?" A very important part of your health is your mental well-being and your ability to hold onto peace. She upsets you - and frankly just hearing about this upsets me as well!!
She is NOT the only game in town and I agree with you- she does NOT sound like she is the best for you. YOU are the warrior going to battle, so you must look after your true best interest and strategies for your life and health. She doesn't sound like she is on your team - find someone who will be. Can you talk to your previous doctor and get his advice or input? Even so - YOU are team captain, girl - so guard your team and act in your best interest. Best of luck to you and peace and calm.
Melanie0 -
Just my 2 cents .. First of all, I too, hadMelaniedoingwell said:kick her to the curb!!
Well, that is my advice.
Someone says she is the best in the area - who is "someone?" A very important part of your health is your mental well-being and your ability to hold onto peace. She upsets you - and frankly just hearing about this upsets me as well!!
She is NOT the only game in town and I agree with you- she does NOT sound like she is the best for you. YOU are the warrior going to battle, so you must look after your true best interest and strategies for your life and health. She doesn't sound like she is on your team - find someone who will be. Can you talk to your previous doctor and get his advice or input? Even so - YOU are team captain, girl - so guard your team and act in your best interest. Best of luck to you and peace and calm.
Melanie
a well known published, head of this, and head of that Oncologist -- we went toe,
to toe on many things during my chemo. I hated his holy than thou attitude, and
grew tired of his dismissive attitude.
My husband tired unsuccessfully to calm me down -- week, after week.
Time after time, Dr. M ignored my side efforts -- questions, and request for
clinical research data. In fact, I REFUSED to see him often after my weekly
chemo infusions -- my Onco RN and his PA knew that I didn't want to spend any
time with him.
....I had to see him as I fainted, threw up and was a grey yellow. ... as Dr.
checked me out ..he asked about the blood coming from my ear, low WBC, swollen
ankles .. etc. I then pulled out copies my weekly complaint listing of side efforts,
recent scans, and ER visits (yes, I made sure I had them all in a PINK binder that accompanied me everywhere). He was embarrassed, and shocked!
After spending 35 minutes examining me, and reading my file .. Dr. M and I began a new and 'personal' doctor/patient relationship ... that continues.
My advise .. get copies of every scan, and test performed on you thus far -- assemble
in a binder -- and take this with you to every appointment, or scan. When you
see your Oncologist and when you speak to her -- present the findings ..
If she is the BEST .. I would not find another Oncologist until you -- allow
her to do the very BEST for YOU. Get copies of all your medical testing and
records -- schedule a consultant appointment, show her your marker findings.
Then ask her .. where do we go from here. IF, she brushes you off --
or TREATS you like a number, not a person .. Kick her axxxx to the curb.
It will be much easier to transition to another Oncologist with your medical
records in hand.
Professional courtesy .. we would want to do that in any other aspect of our lives, wouldn't we?
Be you own best Health Advocate --- Arm yourself with copies your medical information, first.
Best of luck, and please let us know the outcome.
Vicki Sam0 -
This doctor is good for whom?VickiSam said:Just my 2 cents .. First of all, I too, had
a well known published, head of this, and head of that Oncologist -- we went toe,
to toe on many things during my chemo. I hated his holy than thou attitude, and
grew tired of his dismissive attitude.
My husband tired unsuccessfully to calm me down -- week, after week.
Time after time, Dr. M ignored my side efforts -- questions, and request for
clinical research data. In fact, I REFUSED to see him often after my weekly
chemo infusions -- my Onco RN and his PA knew that I didn't want to spend any
time with him.
....I had to see him as I fainted, threw up and was a grey yellow. ... as Dr.
checked me out ..he asked about the blood coming from my ear, low WBC, swollen
ankles .. etc. I then pulled out copies my weekly complaint listing of side efforts,
recent scans, and ER visits (yes, I made sure I had them all in a PINK binder that accompanied me everywhere). He was embarrassed, and shocked!
After spending 35 minutes examining me, and reading my file .. Dr. M and I began a new and 'personal' doctor/patient relationship ... that continues.
My advise .. get copies of every scan, and test performed on you thus far -- assemble
in a binder -- and take this with you to every appointment, or scan. When you
see your Oncologist and when you speak to her -- present the findings ..
If she is the BEST .. I would not find another Oncologist until you -- allow
her to do the very BEST for YOU. Get copies of all your medical testing and
records -- schedule a consultant appointment, show her your marker findings.
Then ask her .. where do we go from here. IF, she brushes you off --
or TREATS you like a number, not a person .. Kick her axxxx to the curb.
It will be much easier to transition to another Oncologist with your medical
records in hand.
Professional courtesy .. we would want to do that in any other aspect of our lives, wouldn't we?
Be you own best Health Advocate --- Arm yourself with copies your medical information, first.
Best of luck, and please let us know the outcome.
Vicki Sam
The people who are trying to shrink the national debt. Well they aren't dealing with cancer.
If she waits to "see if you have a problem" by then it's to late. The whole point of tests are to catch the cancer before it starts to grow. How will she know if you have a problem when she is dismissing your pain, and won't order tests because she is wanting to keep the national debt down.
Since when is a doctor concerned more about national debt than his/her patients health care, especially cancer. This woman seems flakey. Listen to your heart, your spirit, then decide.
I wish you well. Take care
Jennifer0 -
Fire her!disneyfan2008 said:I would find NEW Dr
I would find NEW Dr asap....
Denise.
sorry you are going through this...I just changed gastro (due to mine leaving) and not sure yet if I like her...already considering looking for someone else..
Fire her and get a new competent, caring oncologist. I find it hard to believe that she is even considered the best as she doesn't seem to even know how to treat a patient, medically, professionally or decently.
Good luck,
Leeza0 -
wth?
Does the national debt have to do with you? I had to find another surgeon after the one i had seen told me it didnt mattwr if i had a lumpectomy or mastectomy. Really? Didnt matter to who? He was a joke for so many reasons and was recommended by my primary. Loved the new surgeon.shop if you're not happy. Hugs
Deb0 -
Customer
Hi,
I would look for a new oncologist. Even if she is the best in the area. You are the customer and have to advocate for yourself. If you dread going to the doctors because you don't want to have a run in with her you need to find a new one. A doctor should be someone you can confide in and give you the truth. I myself am always able to call and get results before I go to the doctor. It gives me time to digest what the result so I can ask the right questions when I get there. You need to be compatible with your doctor and you obviously are not. Change now while you are in a good place in your treatment. Best of luck to you.
Terry0 -
Sounds like my surgeon
I too went to the highly recommended surgeon and I didn't like him. He exuded nothing but a big ego and my partner wanted to turn him in for extra billing since he was charging her health care number for a consult because she came in with me. My partner was furious being a government worker but I told her to shut her mouth because I wanted to have my breasts removed by the man who did the most and 99% of his busniness was breast cancer.
I stuck with him and ignored his ego and it worked well for me. I am sorry you have to face this but I do know now not all doctors in the cancer business are comforting...
Tara0 -
just checking back in to see24242 said:Sounds like my surgeon
I too went to the highly recommended surgeon and I didn't like him. He exuded nothing but a big ego and my partner wanted to turn him in for extra billing since he was charging her health care number for a consult because she came in with me. My partner was furious being a government worker but I told her to shut her mouth because I wanted to have my breasts removed by the man who did the most and 99% of his busniness was breast cancer.
I stuck with him and ignored his ego and it worked well for me. I am sorry you have to face this but I do know now not all doctors in the cancer business are comforting...
Tara
just checking back in to see what you are doing? LOOKING for new DR?
Denise0
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