To: My Dear Friend – Robinvan – aka “Canada Rob”

Tonight, I heard a voice calling out his name…I had been looking for an update for nearly three months and suspected something might be amiss. And so, without hesitation I checked out his blog and found very disturbing news.

Our brother, Rob, has had recurrence again in the sacrum. He had fought a tremendous battle to become clear again and went for just about the same amount of time as me…close to 8-9 months…

Many of you don’t know, Rob…he’s a beloved member of this family, but has been pursuing some personal endeavors he had wanted to do, though I’ve seen him stop by here on occasion to update.

I feel the disappointment in Rob’s words…he is gracious in how he’s handling the news,but I know he is hurting right now. Who wouldn’t be?

“Who is Rob?”

I can only speak about who he is to me. First, Rob is an active 8-year cancer fighter and survivor. But, he’s more than that. I’ve had some of the deepest intellectual talks of my life with this man. The waters that course through this man's veins run as deep as any ocean that we have.

He’s a man who I have the highest respect and the deepest admiration for. He is a man who has inspired me to even greater heights as I tried to grab a hold of his coattail to try and be half the man that he is. The man is deep – the man is gentle –and I love him.

In one of our earlier conversations, he closed by saying to me, “I love you, Craig.” At the time, I did not really know how to handle that. No man has ever told me such a thing. I understand what Rob was telling me – I just did not know how to process that. As men, that’s just not something that we’re used to hearing from other men.

But, Rob has taught me many things. And chiefly on that list, he taught me what it was to love another man – to love the ideal of such a bond. Because, what it tells me is that despite gender differences, we fall in love with each other’s souls – we fall for the essence of who they are – not what they are.

Male or female – it makes no difference – because this type of love is on a transcendental level…a level that I’ve never experienced but am proud to be a part of it. Rob taught me that there is no shame in expressing your feelings to a man…bravado and facades are tossed aside – we see the spirit, which is where true love must lie.

I’ve been blessed in my life to be touched by such a kindred spirit.

Our precious Rob is in trouble right now…his reports are that he’s becoming mostly bedridden and has a hard time sitting up for periods of time. His palliative team is working on his pain relief and he says they are putting a new plan together.

I know that Rob understands what he faces, although he won’t let on – and I understand it clearly with him. I am fearful for Rob and very concerned for him – as a man, as his friend, and as a valuable member of our family here.

I would appreciate anyone that wanted to say something, to please pass along your best wishes and sentiments.

Tears are just pouring down my face…I’m having a hard time with this news. I don’t want to think about a world without Rob in it. I so much wanted to sit down with him and talk with him face to face. I don’t think you could meet this man without walking away a changed person.

I think that much of him.

I don’t know if Rob will see this post or not….even if he doesn’t, then I want to still send him our heartfelt wishes in the hopes that he will hear them in the Great White North of Canada.

Patteee, Tootsie, I saw where you were able to post to his blog…I wrote a post but could not sign so I lost it. If you can, will one of you pass along a personal note from me to Rob….something simple like, “I love you, Rob.”

Let him know that we are thinking about him during this trial in his life and this stop along his journey. Perhaps, he will come over to read the responses.

This disease is wearing me out…I’m sick to death of watching my friends suffer so…to give all they have to give and still coming up short…

So, to honor Rob – I’ll close this post with his tagline…

“Peace be with you…”

Sending you all the best, Rob – from your CSN Family – We Love You!

-Craig