Don't know what to say...my Bill was taken from me suddenly...

MissusB
MissusB Member Posts: 111
in Esophageal Cancer #1
My sweet Bill was taken from me suddenly very early Saturday morning...not the cancer, but a freak accident as a result of his esophagectomy.

We had taken vendors to dinner Friday night and had a great meal. Apparently Bill must've eaten too much, as he aspirated about 3:00 in the morning. He was able to tell me what was wrong, I got 911 on the line and do CPR after he became unresponsive. To make a long story short, he "coded" twice and then was stabilized before they got him to the hospital, but his condition deteriorated through the day and he just drifted away late that afternoon. I think this was all because he had eaten so heavily.

I've had a lot of you who are my Facebook friends comment on my post about Bill's passing, but I think everyone thinks it was the cancer that took him - it wasn't. I just wanted to share his story with you in hopes that it may save someone else.

While devastated to lose my rock, my angel and the father figure to my two precious children, I do believe that God was sparing him from what might come. Bill had five positive nodes in his path after surgery, so there was a dark cloud over us constantly worrying that the cancer would return. We both knew it would return and from reading everything here knew it would be very difficult. I am heartbroken, but even though I got to him in time and did everything right in my attempts to revive him, God just wasn't in a negotiating mood that day. Right now I am numb, but there is a sense of peace knowing that Bill will be spared any further poking and prodding.
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Comments

  • paul61
    paul61 Member Posts: 1,392 Member
    #2
    I am so sad to hear this about Bill
    I think most of us who are cancer survivors worry about recurrence and the possible suffering that would follow. Few of us, when we lay down to sleep at night, consider what happened to Bill as a possibility. I am so sorry to hear this.

    With my deepest Condolences,

    Paul Adams,
    McCormick, South Carolina
  • oriontj
    oriontj Member Posts: 375
    #3
    My deepest sympathy
    And prayers for you and your family. You just don't think something like this will happen. I'm so sorry.
  • Freida
    Freida Member Posts: 182
    #4
    I am so very sorry. What a
    I am so very sorry. What a terrible shock this must have been. I am sure you must be heartbroken, though I can completely understand your feeling of peace that he will not suffer any more. Take care of yourself. Hugs and best wishes to you.
    Freida
  • ritawaite13
    ritawaite13 Member Posts: 236
    #5
    So sad
    I am so very sorry. This is such a sad ending to your story. I know through reading your posts that he was doing pretty well recently. You're right though, even though this is such a tragic ending, there is comfort in knowing he is at peace and he no longer has to fight this beast of a cancer. As hard as it is, I guess the good Lord knows exactly what he's doing and we just can't question Him.
    Know that you are in my prayers. Bill will always live on in your heart and in your memories.
    Hugs to you
    Rita
  • AngieD
    AngieD Member Posts: 493
    #6
    ritawaite13 said:

    So sad
    I am so very sorry. This is such a sad ending to your story. I know through reading your posts that he was doing pretty well recently. You're right though, even though this is such a tragic ending, there is comfort in knowing he is at peace and he no longer has to fight this beast of a cancer. As hard as it is, I guess the good Lord knows exactly what he's doing and we just can't question Him.
    Know that you are in my prayers. Bill will always live on in your heart and in your memories.
    Hugs to you
    Rita

    I am SO sorry. It seems so
    I am SO sorry. It seems so cruel and unfair after all you two had to go through to make sure he could get the chemo you felt he needed after the surgery. Not to mention what you had to do get him a liver transplant before the EC. I admire you so much for all that plus now, in your grief, to warn others here of the dangers of aspiration. As you said, he is safely at peace now. I'm hoping and praying for healing and peace for you and the boys after this tremendous shock and for joy in remembering your wonderful years together.
    Angie
  • Cora11
    Cora11 Member Posts: 173
    #7
    AngieD said:

    I am SO sorry. It seems so
    I am SO sorry. It seems so cruel and unfair after all you two had to go through to make sure he could get the chemo you felt he needed after the surgery. Not to mention what you had to do get him a liver transplant before the EC. I admire you so much for all that plus now, in your grief, to warn others here of the dangers of aspiration. As you said, he is safely at peace now. I'm hoping and praying for healing and peace for you and the boys after this tremendous shock and for joy in remembering your wonderful years together.
    Angie

    my sympathy
    My sympathy for your loss. This is also the second death that I have heard of from aspiration. I just cannot imagine what you have been through. Bill was courageous and survived the liver transplant, this surgery, what a fighter he was and with you by his side always. Indeed he may have been spared from more suffering. I am just so very sorry and my heart goes out to at this sad time. Please take solace in those close to you and your friends here. So so sorry.
    Cora
  • annalan
    annalan Member Posts: 138
    #8
    So terribly sorry to read of
    So terribly sorry to read of Bill's passing. My condolences to you and your family. Although the loss must be unbearable I agree with you when you say that he will have been spared more suffering and is at peace.

    Ann (2)
    wife of Alan T3N1M0
    Deepest sympathies from England
  • dodger21
    dodger21 Member Posts: 85 Member
    #9
    annalan said:

    So terribly sorry to read of
    So terribly sorry to read of Bill's passing. My condolences to you and your family. Although the loss must be unbearable I agree with you when you say that he will have been spared more suffering and is at peace.

    Ann (2)
    wife of Alan T3N1M0
    Deepest sympathies from England

    Oh my!
    Oh my! I am so devastated for you. I had to read your post twice to make sure I read correctly. You have a very positive and strong attitude and are right - he won't suffer. I pray that God gives you strength to get thru this difficult period. You spoke very highly of him. Keep holding onto those beautiful memories.
    Danielle
  • Mazj
    Mazj Member Posts: 42
    #10
    dodger21 said:

    Oh my!
    Oh my! I am so devastated for you. I had to read your post twice to make sure I read correctly. You have a very positive and strong attitude and are right - he won't suffer. I pray that God gives you strength to get thru this difficult period. You spoke very highly of him. Keep holding onto those beautiful memories.
    Danielle

    I too am so very sorry.
    My sympathies to you and your lovely family. It was so sad reading your post and we all appreciate you thinking of keeping us notified during this most difficult time. I am so pleased you are able to see how this might be better for Bill but I can still understand how devastated you must be. I know I will face this great loss sometime soon and I would like to think I can show the grace you have. There are no real words to help you other than I am thinking of you.
    Hugs
    Marilyn
    Wife of Brian T0N0M1
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #11
    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • bingbing2009
    bingbing2009 Member Posts: 177
    #12
    So sorry
    We am so sorry to hear this news. What a shock. You have our deepest sympathy. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.

    Melinda and Vaughn
  • Zoe1
    Zoe1 Member Posts: 22
    #13
    So sorry to hear about your
    So sorry to hear about your loss...I am still a bit new on this site so have not read your old post but from what others here have written you and Bill must have gone through lots together and to just pass away after all that so suddenly ..my heart goes out to you.

    Will pray for you and your family

    God bless
    Zoe
  • JReed
    JReed Member Posts: 428
    #14
    So very sorry
    I am so very sorry. I am sure you are absolutely numb. I don't know what to say. Please know you and your children will be in our thoughts and prayers.

    May God be with you all.

    Judy
  • jss2011
    jss2011 Member Posts: 132
    #15
    JReed said:

    So very sorry
    I am so very sorry. I am sure you are absolutely numb. I don't know what to say. Please know you and your children will be in our thoughts and prayers.

    May God be with you all.

    Judy

    So Sorry
    I am so sorry for your loss.

    Julie
  • Donna70
    Donna70 Member Posts: 852 Member
    #16
    jss2011 said:

    So Sorry
    I am so sorry for your loss.

    Julie

    just so sorry but thanks for your warning also
    So sorry to hear this and so devastating after all Bill went thru to get the surgery and the liver transplant. I have aspirated while I was lying on a wedge and 2 pillows and developed a 104 temp immediately and had to go to the ER so I am very frightened of aspirating again. I did not know that you could code and not make it home. You are numb and in shock now, I hope you are surrounded by many loving supportive family and friends. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. Your love shines thru your words. Thank you that amid your own terrible loss, you wanted to give a warning to all of us. God bless you for your kind heart.
    Donna70
  • Ginny_B
    Ginny_B Member Posts: 532
    #17
    So very sorry
    I'm so saddened to read your post. How very sad for you. I know it's rough this way, but lingering is harder. My thoughts, prayers are with you and yours for a spiritual an emotional healing. Rest in peace, Bill.
  • Luvs24
    Luvs24 Member Posts: 75
    #18
    Ginny_B said:

    So very sorry
    I'm so saddened to read your post. How very sad for you. I know it's rough this way, but lingering is harder. My thoughts, prayers are with you and yours for a spiritual an emotional healing. Rest in peace, Bill.

    My deepest condolensces
    I am so very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
  • Luvs24
    Luvs24 Member Posts: 75
    #19
    Ginny_B said:

    So very sorry
    I'm so saddened to read your post. How very sad for you. I know it's rough this way, but lingering is harder. My thoughts, prayers are with you and yours for a spiritual an emotional healing. Rest in peace, Bill.
  • birdiequeen
    birdiequeen Member Posts: 319
    #20
    after your post last night
    Thought I would comment today, hoping I would have better words. Bill, you and your children have been in my thoughts all day, yet I still have no words. It is unbelievable kind of you to take this time to share his story to help save others. I wish I could just give you a hug, please know we are here with open arms and ears. Take care.
  • unclaw2002
    unclaw2002 Member Posts: 599
    #21
    Kim,
    Again I am so sorry to
    Kim,

    Again I am so sorry to hear what happened with Bill. It really is such a heartbreak to have this happen to our loved ones. I was so touched by Bill's obituary --- I can't share it with the group here but you may want to cut and paste the link (I haven't figured out yet how to do the link in the body of the email yet) because I am sure the folks on the Board would really appreciate knowing more about the wonderful man that Bill was.

    Again you, your sons, and the entire family are in my prayers and thoughts during this difficult time.

    Hugs,
    Cindy

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