Not Having Treatment (80 years old)

TuffCookieHere2 said:

NOT HAVING TREATMENT ( 80 YRS OLD )


Hello Nan-Peg,

If it is ok, first I would like to ask, what are her other health conditions? If that is ok. Secondly, based on that response, depending what they are, I want to say my mom is 78, just 2 yrs younger then your mom. I know everyone is different, no 2 people can deal or put up with what another can, but my mom had very bad diverticulitis, I mean she kept getting bouts of it every like 4 mths, and back in the hosp she went, before she could give time for the healing, she would get another bout of infections, vomitting, sweating, you know it, the surgeon said they were going to keep her this last time back in OCTOBER and she had MAJOR SURGERY, but she is over not to bad weight, 145, no high bp, no diabetes, shes a skin melanoma survivor of many years. My point is, 80, is old...but sometimes, some people that age, you be surprised can withstand alot...it comes with their experience through life, and being stronger. I think if someone really had to, they would put up with doing something, if it means, saving their life. Yes, anal cancer is slow growing true, but that doesnt mean, she wont be in pain and suffering, near the time, its going to travel....through her body, because that is what will happen, toward the end, she will be i believe....worse, in pain, and near death, and might even have regrets of not having tried to save....herself when she had the chance. Survival rates for anal cancer are pretty high...I mean if my mom had anal cancer God forbid at that age, I would definitely....DO SOMETHING. I am a 6 year anal cancer survivor, of course, I got it at age 44.....im also a 9 yr breast cancer survivor, got that at age 40, neither one related. Nan? I am not sure about the surgery, as, some surgeons told me, it could spread that way.....the line of treatment, for anal cancer....is usually called, a "sandwhich effect" where the patient has....so many weeks of radiation, some of chemo and rads together, the rest of the weeks just rads....I wont lie and say it was pleasant, at some points, i thought i wanted to stop...but you cant, you need to keep going....the skin will peel and burn and itch....sitting might be difficult a bit...but there will be a constant itching and burning....I think our moms as well as any family member, at any age, would be important to us and to keep around as long as we can....think if she was older, she might get other illnesses, that she might suffer even more...then anal cancer treatments...i dont believe because someone is a certain age...that we should just do NOTHING? I think that would be very bad....i think no matter what age...expecially if she is your mother, you should apt to do something...my choice would be....the chemo/radiation, with no surgery....ask the doctor, he knows, about the sandwhich effect....i forget the 2 drugs, but it has to be done precisely correct for it to work right...rads, then rads/chemo, then rads the last weeks, booster will be part of it....if you want, they can even put your mom as inpatient, the weeks, she does the rads/chemo together....and outpatient when they do just the rads...they can give her cremes and pain meds for the itching and burning, there can be ways around that, important thing is to BLAST THAT TUMOR AWAY!!!!!!!!!! The chemo/rads are and should be done together, they should be given her a IV drip of the chemo, about 24 hour infusion i think it was, and same days, be wheeled down to radiation....ASK YOUR DOCTOR....i think, some pain and itching and discomfort...peeling of skin....for 8 weeks...at age 80, is not to to bad, to keep your mom around possibly another 5 more years? 10 more years? I would want my mom around a long time. I think it is sad to say, because shes 80, let's not do anything, not the right way to really do things...most older people live til 95, 100, suffer some things but, we don't say, well, lets not give them, a pain med, or, do anything for them, because they are old and will die anyway? no wrong way to think, we are put on this earth for a reason, as long as we are breathing, and a way to save someones life, i say GO FOR IT....it wont be easy trust me, but i think, giving her love, encouragement....and faith and hope....will pull her through. This will be 2 mths approx of treatments....if you choose the rads/chemo....she will still be 80 and, if she makes it through, probably live, a long happy life, you cant just not do anything because really? doctors say its slow growing, but how slow is slow? They are not God, only God knows, what that really means, also, as I said before, if she comes toward the end, and the cancer starts, spreading? what will you do then? she will be suffering then also, filling her with pain meds, but knowing this is going to be DEATH...and then you will think maybe i should have had her do, the anal cancer treatments...why let her get to the point of letting the cancer eat her up...and suffer...i rather have my mother suffer, knowing im saving her life. Just my opinion....is all...your mom is not that that old, there are people i know that go in surgery, even passed her age..some I know, cant do it, but, she is 80, not 85, or 90, or 95...I think she still has hope....remember, if she suffers some, you rather have her suffer, knowing your saving her life, and not, her suffer, and dying, knowing you never tried to save her. I wish you and your mom the best....I will pray for a very good outcome and May God give her the strength to make it through, and the love and encouragement from you and the rest of the family, to, give her the hope, to, make it. SHE CAN DO IT, she must be strong and fight...Im sure shes been through alot in her life...a few more weeks of suffering to save her life, im sure is worth it...no matter what age we are, we never want that to be an excuse for, not wanting to save our lives, or that of others, i say, as long as their is life, there is HOPE. God bless you all....Let us know what you decided but remember, nobody knows how fast or slow the cancer will grow, and if shes going to suffer, going out of this world, ya might as well, have her suffer, trying to save her life instead. Love and hugs, Nina~

Hey Tough Cookie
Love the name! It's something we often called my mom. She just hasn't been very tough the last few years. Until 3 years ago she was sailing through. Had NEVER been in the hospital or undergone surgery. Her only major issue was high blood pressure. At that time she had a TIA - mini stroke which has led to cardiac monitoring and being vigilant about any symptoms of another.

Now, in the last two months, she's been diagnosed with ocular myasthenia - severe weakening of the eye muscles which has resulted in constant double vision and one of her eyelids has dropped significantly. As with any autoimmune disease it's not possible to know if this is an episode that will pass or be permanent or how frequently she may experience this. The other unfortunate part of this is it now prevents her from driving and she has to be very careful walking because she doesn't see well. This alone would be tolerable. While in the hospital for this, she wound up having a pacemaker installed to irregular heart rates which caused dizziness, light headedness and, again, prevent driving. As a really independent 80 year-old with a pessimistic personality - she's really struggling with this.

The cancer diagnosis is just another big thing all within 2 months.

She begins treatment Monday. She will be in-patient for a week while undergoing first round of treatment and begins radiation. Due to her age and health issues, she will be given a lower dose of the chemo. Docs are compromising somewhat on a complete "kill" of the cancer to hopefully reduce the worst of the side effects because they know her body won't tolerate full-blown dosage.

Our hope is that she'll go from the hospital to a subaccute facility for a couple of weeks where she'll have 24 hour care. The concern at home is getting 24 hour care in place with the whole family working. These couple of weeks will buy us some time to maybe get something in place.

So - she's going for it. We are preparing for the worst but hoping for the best!

Thanks so much for your helpful and insightful post. Will keep you all apprised as she goes along.

Nan-Peg :-)

mp327 said:

Best Wishes
Nan-Peg--I wish your mom all the very best as she begins her treatment on Monday. I will certainly keep her and you in my prayers.

It's Begun
Hi All -

Quick update on my Mom. She's been in the hospital since Monday. Began Chemo very late at night so it will go through late Friday night. Today is her 4th radiation treatment. As of yesterday, she was beginning to be a little sore in the area. They were holding off on cream/ointment until the radiation oncologist sees her today.

Soooooo it's begun. Although the treatment is rough, I think the anticipation and unknowns were wearing her down too.

Keep you posted!

P.S. Almost forgot the most important thing. The biopsy of her suspicious node in her groin was NEGATIVE. So no spread. :-)

Phoebesnow said:

How is your mom doing? I am
How is your mom doing? I am hoping she will not suffer much. My 90 year old mother in law just completed two weeks of radiation for colon cancer in her lungs 3 months ago. She is doing great, just returned from a10 day trip to brazil with my husband and her other son. Thinking of u both and wishing u all the best.

So far amazingly well
Hi Phoebe -

I was just at the nursing home visiting my Mom. She's there for rehab following her first round of chemo. She's handling things remarkably well. So far, only a few really bad days. Yesterday was her 14th rad treatment. She's scheduled for 25-30. On the 25th she goes into the hospital for her 2nd round of chemo.

Having her in the nursing home has made for the best possible situation. There's someone there around the clock. She can't forget to eat or take meds and she gets physical therapy to keep up her strength. She's extremely tired from the radiation and if she were home, she wouldn't push herself (and who could blame her?!) but it really is best if she keeps her strength up.

Thanks so much for asking. I'll post again soon!

Phoebesnow said:

Happy to hear she is doing
Happy to hear she is doing well and is getting the care she needs. Keep us updated.

Not Great Right Now
Hi -

Seems like my Mom may have hit the wall -- all at once. She had her 2nd round of chemo last week. The dosage was increased a bit since she tolerated the first lower dose so well.

She's having diarrhea the consistency of water and vomiting. They've stopped the radiation at 25 treatments. Had hoped for 28 but they feel it's too much. She's blistering now as well.

After a lot of resistance, we got her to go back to the rehab center when she was released from the hospital Saturday. She would have very little help if she were home. A homemaker 4-6 hours a week and a visit from a nurse 1-2 times a week. She's very week now and her blood pressure is very low (before tx she took meds for high blood pressure). Spent 8 hours at the cancer center yesterday being rehydrated.

So........although she seemed to do extremely well prior to this it seems like she's really getting hit hard now. Hope it's all worth it in the end and that the side effects don't become too detrimental to her overall health.

Keep you posted. Hope everyone's treatment and/or healing is going well!