Spouse surprises me -not in good ways-anyone else?
Comments
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sickness and health...Lynn Smith said:Denise
Gee after reading other posts looke like alot of us are going through this.I felt since my dx and reading others posts I was the only one who wasn't getting support.Now others are speaking out about the same thing.
I bet there are many many more.I think since my dx and no chemo or radiation made my husband thought this is just like all other surgery.BUT it isn't.My life has changed drastically. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.But if there is someone out that who could care less about me and my health then let them walk in my shoes.It called a WAKE UP CALL. ONE none of us wanted. There is no turning back. We have to move forward.I came to that conclusion.
I feel stronger in our relationship now. He has changed ALOT!!!! And I hope he stays that way.
Strange thing tonight.I went to the store with my husband.A lady(cashier)that I dont know (but husband knows) from going in there called him honey,sweetheart and you name it.She said I always flirt with your husband when he walks in.I'm not jeolous of him but I got sick of it.I don't think my husband would have taken me in if he THOUGHT she would say it in front of me but she did. It takes all kinds to make the world go round.In fact I am probably 20 years older than her and look younger than her. LOL. Maybe I should say call him anything you want because I look better than you.Or maybe "we must be the same age"."Are you over 60" or pushing 70????
Lynn Smith
odd
sickness and health...
odd thing my husband doens't see has not been caring...or there for me..
he even made coment some time back..that I DID NOT really have cancer sicne dcis...but he came to pre surgery appt and the dr confirmed what kind of cancer I had...followed by radation..
Everyone has said to me oh make sure S..... takes good care of you and I just say oh yea...sure...
Denise0 -
I am very sorry Denise thatdisneyfan2008 said:wow i am not alone...
I thought I would be odd man out and / or no replies...
doesnt' make it right...but I am not alone..
I THINK I OPENED a can or worms..hehe...
Denise
I am very sorry Denise that your husband is treating you like this. I am very lucky in the fact that my husband has been so wonderful to me before, during and still.
Good luck to you and with your husband,
♠♣ Love, Susie ♠♣0 -
dont' get me wrong..disneyfan2008 said:sickness and health...
odd
sickness and health...
odd thing my husband doens't see has not been caring...or there for me..
he even made coment some time back..that I DID NOT really have cancer sicne dcis...but he came to pre surgery appt and the dr confirmed what kind of cancer I had...followed by radation..
Everyone has said to me oh make sure S..... takes good care of you and I just say oh yea...sure...
Denise
my husband hard worker, same job for over 30yrs...MR Fixit...anything electric, plumbing, construction , cars you name it he can do it..he's a good guy..
after his sister said to me...steve told me how the Dr said for you to do NOTHING at all but take it easy...I kind of thought he'd go out of his way tending to me....I am very independent rarely ask for help...so I guess he thought THIS would be the same...
So he's not a bad guy...but it still hurt(s) that he didn't cater to me-wait on me hand and foot....
Denise0 -
dont' get me wrong..disneyfan2008 said:sickness and health...
odd
sickness and health...
odd thing my husband doens't see has not been caring...or there for me..
he even made coment some time back..that I DID NOT really have cancer sicne dcis...but he came to pre surgery appt and the dr confirmed what kind of cancer I had...followed by radation..
Everyone has said to me oh make sure S..... takes good care of you and I just say oh yea...sure...
Denise
my husband hard worker, same job for over 30yrs...MR Fixit...anything electric, plumbing, construction , cars you name it he can do it..he's a good guy..
after his sister said to me...steve told me how the Dr said for you to do NOTHING at all but take it easy...I kind of thought he'd go out of his way tending to me....I am very independent rarely ask for help...so I guess he thought THIS would be the same...
So he's not a bad guy...but it still hurt(s) that he didn't cater to me-wait on me hand and foot....
Denise0 -
How did your night out withms.sunshine said:Suzanne and Char replies
I have come out and ask my husband to do things. He refuses. While going thru chemo I ask him to get me water, something to eat, a blanket, etc... His reply, "get up and get it yourself, that's your problem, you've been lying around to much, you need to walk."
If I ask him to do any housework, he would look at me and laugh. He would say, "you're serious about that, not happening. You go work my job for 10 hours a day then come home, and do housework." My sisters, or mom-in-law would clean.
I thought the C dx would bring us closer. It didn't, it allowed me to see him without the blinders on.
How did your night out with the girls go Denise? Fun?0 -
@debbyDebbyM said:How did your night out with
How did your night out with the girls go Denise? Fun?
OH yes I have great time with my 3 friends for our monthly GNO....we have many good laughs and we also have many tears....great therapy and cooler thing is ...we have known each other since we were 5 yrs old and now we are all 52 yrs old..
Thanks for asking...
Denise0 -
I'm sorry for the way yoursea60 said:Sorry Denise
And it's not my place to say but I'm gonna say it...that's just plain selfish. It just bakes my cookies when I hear such lack of compassion. I'll just bet if it was him sick you would be right there for him, physically AND emotionally.
I'm sorry to hear that on top of what you have to deal with, you have to deal with this unwanted behavior.
Hang in there Sister.
Hugs,
Sylvia
I'm sorry for the way your husband is acting towards you Denise. A good heart to heart with him might make a difference. Explain exactly how you are feeling mentally and physically and don't let him off easy.
Good luck!0 -
that after my double mastectomy, he said, "I have always been a leg man."CAchick said:Am I too sensitive?
Tonight my hubby and I were watching tv...and a commercial went by about Kim Kardashian. Hubby said, "Kim Kardashian, boobs extrodinaire! And, the word on the internet is that they are real, too."
I just looked at him, and went back to watching tv. I wanted to say, "And they are not all cut up like mine!" But, I didn't. My husband is usually a nice, caring person.
But, I thought him even saying that was mean. Am I being too sensitive?
Sybil
Like that was comforting !!!????0 -
things are getting a bitlizzie17 said:that after my double mastectomy, he said, "I have always been a leg man."
Like that was comforting !!!????
things are getting a bit back to normal...but he still has no clue how uncompassionate he was...we were talking yesterday..I said I dont' know what I would have done for past month without my youngest (19yr) daughter...I said she has seen and done more the she should ever have to for me...but she was trooper...rode in ambulance with me, next day drove me to ER again...helped me shower, drove me to dr, changes dressing on incision, slept 4 days in hosptial and much more....
she was my greatest gift, help through all this...
happy to say..
Denise0 -
things are getting a bitlizzie17 said:that after my double mastectomy, he said, "I have always been a leg man."
Like that was comforting !!!????
things are getting a bit back to normal...but he still has no clue how uncompassionate he was...we were talking yesterday..I said I dont' know what I would have done for past month without my youngest (19yr) daughter...I said she has seen and done more the she should ever have to for me...but she was trooper...rode in ambulance with me, next day drove me to ER again...helped me shower, drove me to dr, changes dressing on incision, slept 4 days in hosptial and much more....
she was my greatest gift, help through all this...
happy to say..
Denise0 -
things are getting a bit betterlizzie17 said:that after my double mastectomy, he said, "I have always been a leg man."
Like that was comforting !!!????
things are getting a bit back to normal...but he still has no clue how uncompassionate he was...we were talking yesterday..I said I dont' know what I would have done for past month without my youngest (19yr) daughter...I said she has seen and done more the she should ever have to for me...but she was trooper...rode in ambulance with me, next day drove me to ER again...helped me shower, drove me to dr, changes dressing on incision, slept 4 days in hosptial and much more....
she was my greatest gift, help through all this...
happy to say..
Denise0 -
I know what you meandisneyfan2008 said:things are getting a bit better
things are getting a bit back to normal...but he still has no clue how uncompassionate he was...we were talking yesterday..I said I dont' know what I would have done for past month without my youngest (19yr) daughter...I said she has seen and done more the she should ever have to for me...but she was trooper...rode in ambulance with me, next day drove me to ER again...helped me shower, drove me to dr, changes dressing on incision, slept 4 days in hosptial and much more....
she was my greatest gift, help through all this...
happy to say..
Denise
I know what you mean when you said your husband thinks you don't have cancer since your dx was DCIS.Same here but not my husband.It was my daughter-in-law.We had a argument.I told her I don't need this.Just dx 2 1/2 months before.She said"YOU DON'T HAVE CANCER"."YOUR DOCTOR SAID YOU DON'T".My doctor said I have DCIS and non invasive(won't spread) BUT I can get other types of cancer. Then I told her to leave. So I know very well how you feel. Family thinks with just radaition or like me NO radiation or chemo we are cured forever.WRONG.
Wonder if they would feel that way IF it was THEM.NOT!!!!!!!
Lynn Smith0 -
wow..so sorryLynn Smith said:I know what you mean
I know what you mean when you said your husband thinks you don't have cancer since your dx was DCIS.Same here but not my husband.It was my daughter-in-law.We had a argument.I told her I don't need this.Just dx 2 1/2 months before.She said"YOU DON'T HAVE CANCER"."YOUR DOCTOR SAID YOU DON'T".My doctor said I have DCIS and non invasive(won't spread) BUT I can get other types of cancer. Then I told her to leave. So I know very well how you feel. Family thinks with just radaition or like me NO radiation or chemo we are cured forever.WRONG.
Wonder if they would feel that way IF it was THEM.NOT!!!!!!!
Lynn Smith
I told my husband not if it comes back but when...!
Even one dr said oh Just radiation and then said I am so sorry...I did not mean anything by that...just meant no chemo...
Denise0 -
wow..so sorryLynn Smith said:I know what you mean
I know what you mean when you said your husband thinks you don't have cancer since your dx was DCIS.Same here but not my husband.It was my daughter-in-law.We had a argument.I told her I don't need this.Just dx 2 1/2 months before.She said"YOU DON'T HAVE CANCER"."YOUR DOCTOR SAID YOU DON'T".My doctor said I have DCIS and non invasive(won't spread) BUT I can get other types of cancer. Then I told her to leave. So I know very well how you feel. Family thinks with just radaition or like me NO radiation or chemo we are cured forever.WRONG.
Wonder if they would feel that way IF it was THEM.NOT!!!!!!!
Lynn Smith
I told my husband not if it comes back but when...!
Even one dr said oh Just radiation and then said I am so sorry...I did not mean anything by that...just meant no chemo...
Denise0 -
Glad to know that things aredisneyfan2008 said:things are getting a bit better
things are getting a bit back to normal...but he still has no clue how uncompassionate he was...we were talking yesterday..I said I dont' know what I would have done for past month without my youngest (19yr) daughter...I said she has seen and done more the she should ever have to for me...but she was trooper...rode in ambulance with me, next day drove me to ER again...helped me shower, drove me to dr, changes dressing on incision, slept 4 days in hosptial and much more....
she was my greatest gift, help through all this...
happy to say..
Denise
Glad to know that things are somewhat better for you Denise. Sounds like you have a wonderful daughter!
Hugs!0 -
@angieAngie2U said:Glad to know that things are
Glad to know that things are somewhat better for you Denise. Sounds like you have a wonderful daughter!
Hugs!
My DAUGHTER IS WONDERFUL....dont' know where I would have been without her...to stay 4 days and nights with me..(only ran home to shower) took me to movies one day to get out...errands for me...stopped and got me food...you name it...she did it..
so greatful....
Denise0 -
I hope and pray Denise thatdisneyfan2008 said:things are getting a bit
things are getting a bit back to normal...but he still has no clue how uncompassionate he was...we were talking yesterday..I said I dont' know what I would have done for past month without my youngest (19yr) daughter...I said she has seen and done more the she should ever have to for me...but she was trooper...rode in ambulance with me, next day drove me to ER again...helped me shower, drove me to dr, changes dressing on incision, slept 4 days in hosptial and much more....
she was my greatest gift, help through all this...
happy to say..
Denise
I hope and pray Denise that your relationship with your husband will get better and that he will show you more respect and kindness.0
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