A good cry

Texasgirl10
Texasgirl10 Member Posts: 668
in Breast Cancer #1
Today has been a rough one for me. I posted earlier that the drains were driving me crazy. I woke up this morning not feeling good and just totally out of sorts. I have felt this way all day long. I finally just started crying and I cried for 40 minutes. I cried for everything that has happened to me over the past 5 months. I cried because my best friend left to go on a vacation to Hawaii the day after my surgery. I didn't need her physically but I sure needed her emotionally and she wasn't here. Then I cried because I was crying. I haven't really cried since the day I was diagnosed. I just constantly try to act happy for those around me. I don't want my family to be scared or worried so I usually just tell them that I'm ok. But ya know what, I needed that good cry this evening and I feel so much better. I hate cancer with all of my heart. IT SUCKS!

Hugs,

Dawne
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Comments

  • jessiesmom1
    jessiesmom1 Member Posts: 915 Member
    #2
    A Good Cry
    Yes indeed it does. Cancer sucks. I don't think you will find a single soul that feels differently. It is hard to feel positive when one or both of your breasts has been removed, you have drain bulbs hanging from your body, you are sore, scared, lonely, still trying to be a wife and/or a mom and SO much more. It is OK to cry and feel sorry for yourself. I think you are entitled to that. My mastectomy was 14 months ago. My last chemo was 9 months ago. Just last night I said to my daughter who is away at college (via text of course), "I feel GREAT compared to how I felt 9 months ago." You will feel that, too. IRENE
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #3
    Considering all you (and we) are going thru....
    it's a given that a good cry is necessary!!!

    Glad you are feeling better!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Texasgirl10
    Texasgirl10 Member Posts: 668
    #4
    jessiesmom1 said:

    A Good Cry
    Yes indeed it does. Cancer sucks. I don't think you will find a single soul that feels differently. It is hard to feel positive when one or both of your breasts has been removed, you have drain bulbs hanging from your body, you are sore, scared, lonely, still trying to be a wife and/or a mom and SO much more. It is OK to cry and feel sorry for yourself. I think you are entitled to that. My mastectomy was 14 months ago. My last chemo was 9 months ago. Just last night I said to my daughter who is away at college (via text of course), "I feel GREAT compared to how I felt 9 months ago." You will feel that, too. IRENE

    Thank You
    Thank You for your post Irene. It's amazing how good one can feel after a heartfelt cry. I actually feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted from shoulders. I hope you continue to feel great.

    Dawne
  • Lynn Smith
    Lynn Smith Member Posts: 1,264 Member
    #5
    Cry
    Cry all you want and get it out.I know how you feel.We are full of emotions.

    I am 1 1/2 year survivor and I have my days to cry.Like tonight.I did community service work for animal over 10 years.I got tired and quit this year.So tonight I am talking to someone. She told the new organizer she wanted to talk to me.The new person said she quit because she is sick.The other lady said "Not what I know".She is just retiring.She isn't sick. So now the word is out I am sick.A new one to me but this is people's mindset.I wondered why a few people called me(of course fishing) and now I know.

    I am so upset about this.I am crying.I MUST set the record straight.Now there will be NO one and I mean no one to know my business.The lady who took it over knew I was overwhelmed.She did it only 6 months and said it is hard for her to do.And she is 24 years younger than me.

    So see how people feel when they hear you have cancer.No matter what type of cancer they think you won't make it.Gee where are they????? People are living long lives.

    It has only been 5 months for you. The crying Will get better.Like me I had been upbeat till I heard this"I am SICK". A ridiculous rumor.

    Lynn Smith
  • sausageroll
    sausageroll Member Posts: 415
    #6
    Lynn Smith said:

    Cry
    Cry all you want and get it out.I know how you feel.We are full of emotions.

    I am 1 1/2 year survivor and I have my days to cry.Like tonight.I did community service work for animal over 10 years.I got tired and quit this year.So tonight I am talking to someone. She told the new organizer she wanted to talk to me.The new person said she quit because she is sick.The other lady said "Not what I know".She is just retiring.She isn't sick. So now the word is out I am sick.A new one to me but this is people's mindset.I wondered why a few people called me(of course fishing) and now I know.

    I am so upset about this.I am crying.I MUST set the record straight.Now there will be NO one and I mean no one to know my business.The lady who took it over knew I was overwhelmed.She did it only 6 months and said it is hard for her to do.And she is 24 years younger than me.

    So see how people feel when they hear you have cancer.No matter what type of cancer they think you won't make it.Gee where are they????? People are living long lives.

    It has only been 5 months for you. The crying Will get better.Like me I had been upbeat till I heard this"I am SICK". A ridiculous rumor.

    Lynn Smith

    Dawne
    I have told many a friend that a cry does you a world of good. I have a feeling that most of us want the world to see us as strong and crying would make us seem weak. This is a very tender time for you and crying is just a way of releasing some of the pain and fear.
    Take care. I'll be thinking of you. Pat
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #7
    :-(
    Oh honey do not hold it in, cry when you need to and tell your family you need more support if that is what you need. You are not your normal self right now and that is okay, it is totally resonable that you are feeling this way. Gentle hugs!

    RE
  • Texasgirl10
    Texasgirl10 Member Posts: 668
    #8
    RE said:

    :-(
    Oh honey do not hold it in, cry when you need to and tell your family you need more support if that is what you need. You are not your normal self right now and that is okay, it is totally resonable that you are feeling this way. Gentle hugs!

    RE

    Family
    Hi RE, I have the best family in the world. I promise they are very supportive. I just love them so much and want to protect them from worrying about me so I don't let them see me cry. Infact like I said, I really haven't cried since the day of diagnosis. I guess I've been in denial, I'm not sure. I promise my family is AWESOME and has taken extremely good care of me through this whole journey. I feel so much better though since I just let it all out. I actually cried because I was crying.. I've never done that before :)

    Thank You for your sweet hugs and I am hugging you right back,

    Dawne
  • Texasgirl10
    Texasgirl10 Member Posts: 668
    #9
    Lynn Smith said:

    Cry
    Cry all you want and get it out.I know how you feel.We are full of emotions.

    I am 1 1/2 year survivor and I have my days to cry.Like tonight.I did community service work for animal over 10 years.I got tired and quit this year.So tonight I am talking to someone. She told the new organizer she wanted to talk to me.The new person said she quit because she is sick.The other lady said "Not what I know".She is just retiring.She isn't sick. So now the word is out I am sick.A new one to me but this is people's mindset.I wondered why a few people called me(of course fishing) and now I know.

    I am so upset about this.I am crying.I MUST set the record straight.Now there will be NO one and I mean no one to know my business.The lady who took it over knew I was overwhelmed.She did it only 6 months and said it is hard for her to do.And she is 24 years younger than me.

    So see how people feel when they hear you have cancer.No matter what type of cancer they think you won't make it.Gee where are they????? People are living long lives.

    It has only been 5 months for you. The crying Will get better.Like me I had been upbeat till I heard this"I am SICK". A ridiculous rumor.

    Lynn Smith

    Oh Lynn
    I am so sorry that you are having a rough day too. Yes, it is unfortunate but when people hear the word cancer they automatically equate that with death. But you are showing the world that you are a strong fighter and have survived this battle for 1 1/2 years now and will continue to do so. Congratulations on winning this courageous battle. Keep fighting and stay healthy always.

    I hope you have a brighter day tomorrow.

    Hugs,

    Dawne
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #10
    Texasgirl10 said:

    Family
    Hi RE, I have the best family in the world. I promise they are very supportive. I just love them so much and want to protect them from worrying about me so I don't let them see me cry. Infact like I said, I really haven't cried since the day of diagnosis. I guess I've been in denial, I'm not sure. I promise my family is AWESOME and has taken extremely good care of me through this whole journey. I feel so much better though since I just let it all out. I actually cried because I was crying.. I've never done that before :)

    Thank You for your sweet hugs and I am hugging you right back,

    Dawne

    :-)
    Oh Dawne I never intended to imply your family was anything but supportive, I just recall how hard it was for me to let them do for me because being the mom I wanted to do for them it was just not possible as I was far too sick. A good cry can be quite cleansing glad you got it out. Always here for you!

    RE
  • Texasgirl10
    Texasgirl10 Member Posts: 668
    #11
    RE said:

    :-)
    Oh Dawne I never intended to imply your family was anything but supportive, I just recall how hard it was for me to let them do for me because being the mom I wanted to do for them it was just not possible as I was far too sick. A good cry can be quite cleansing glad you got it out. Always here for you!

    RE

    I didn't take it that way :)
    RE,
    I didn't take it that way. You are so right, it is hard at times to let our families do for us when we are used to being the one taking care of everyone and everything.

    Hugs,

    Dawne
  • Hippiechick58
    Hippiechick58 Member Posts: 320
    #12
    Texasgirl10 said:

    I didn't take it that way :)
    RE,
    I didn't take it that way. You are so right, it is hard at times to let our families do for us when we are used to being the one taking care of everyone and everything.

    Hugs,

    Dawne

    You know, Dawne, I haven't
    You know, Dawne, I haven't had a good cry in a long while. It's hard for me to cry, I guess I'd rather be angry or silent, but sometimes I wish I could just get it over with and cry. I know it's cathartic. I've felt its sweet release many many times, but for some reason, the tears just won't come. Good for you for shedding those heartfelt tears! Thank God for your supportive family. You will get through this. You just have to allow others to sometimes take care of you.

    You will be in my prayers,
    Dianne
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #13
    we all need a good cry
    I understand about trying to be happy around family...I HAVE my cried in my car...the little time I have alone...

    Sorry you friend was not with you..but I am sure she was in spirit...and thoughts...

    I am sending box of tissues to you...via online hehe for your next good cry...does the heart good..

    try journal.....helped me...

    Denise
  • Jean 0609
    Jean 0609 Member Posts: 2,462
    #14
    Oh Dawne,
    I wished that I was near Texas so I could be there so you could cry on my shoulder. (I would also cry right along with you). Sometimes we just need to get it out. It's not good to keep it in. I always felt much better the day after my cry. Hope you are feeling better today when you wake up.

    xoxo,
    Jean
  • butterflylvr
    butterflylvr Member Posts: 944
    #15
    disneyfan2008 said:

    we all need a good cry
    I understand about trying to be happy around family...I HAVE my cried in my car...the little time I have alone...

    Sorry you friend was not with you..but I am sure she was in spirit...and thoughts...

    I am sending box of tissues to you...via online hehe for your next good cry...does the heart good..

    try journal.....helped me...

    Denise

    Hugs to you Dawne
    Hugs to you Dawne,

    I am like Diane myself, I haven't had a good cry in a long time either. When I was first diagnosed my husband was up at the cottage with his cousins and I was planning on heading south the following day with my mother. We were to visit an old friend of mine. When I got out of clinic after all my testing I had to tell my husband via the telephone. Being able to talk more openly about that particular day now since treatment is going so well for me, I have since learned both my husband and I cried separately and the next day I called him up north and said I had rested comfortably. I am still going on my trip with my mother. That was when I took my life back and haven't looked back since.

    It's amazing what strength we have in us when we call upon it to use it. But every now and then you just gotta let it out. To show you how emotional I can be I teared up reading your post, but mind you I can cry while reading a book or watching an emotional tv show or movie.

    Hugs my friend,
    Lorrie
  • jamiegww
    jamiegww Member Posts: 384
    #16
    Don't wait so long next time to have a good cry.
    Sometimes a good cry is all you need to feel better. I think it's probably the drains because you can really get tired of them. I had one drain removed before leaving the hospital but the one that remained was stitched in and it hurt. Thanks to that drain, I had my first good cry since my diagnosis. I felt so much better once it was gone. I hope you get rid of those drains so you can start to feel better! I think you are being awfully hard on yourself. This is not something you can just shrug off. Allow yourself time to heal both physically and mentally.

    HUGS!!!
    Jamie
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    #17
    It sounds like crying was
    It sounds like crying was exactly what you needed. It's good to get rid of all the stress and fear. I hope those drains are gone!

    Hugs,

    Linda
  • GreeneyedGirl
    GreeneyedGirl Member Posts: 1,077
    #18
    Gabe N Abby Mom said:

    It sounds like crying was
    It sounds like crying was exactly what you needed. It's good to get rid of all the stress and fear. I hope those drains are gone!

    Hugs,

    Linda

    Oh girl~
    ~the dam has burst!! and it's a good thing. you should mourn all that has happened to you! you have been thru so much, and usually it happens quickly, so there is not much time to process it all~
    this is part of the process~
    and we are all here to fill in the gap, in understanding, support and hope!
    Each day will bring fresh new hope~that is my prayer for you!
    May today be filled with smiles, giggles and warm sun on your face (c'mon sunshine, it's May already)
    Blessings~ Melanie
  • mrs gadget
    mrs gadget Member Posts: 118
    #19
    Sometimes it's just time to cry
    I did something similar but only did it once and then became much stronger and faced this head on!! I found that during treatment I needed that one, good, long cry. It becomes a major emotional release and a way to bring all your thoughts to the surface. Don't beat yourself up too much over this. My one cry lasted about an hour and it gave me a chance to sort thru all my feelings...Once you get past the cry, you become stronger and just decide to beat this thing... It helps to pamper yourself once in a while and to know that there are days that are going to be emotionally challenging....Hang in there, you can do this!!!
  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member
    #20
    mrs gadget said:

    Sometimes it's just time to cry
    I did something similar but only did it once and then became much stronger and faced this head on!! I found that during treatment I needed that one, good, long cry. It becomes a major emotional release and a way to bring all your thoughts to the surface. Don't beat yourself up too much over this. My one cry lasted about an hour and it gave me a chance to sort thru all my feelings...Once you get past the cry, you become stronger and just decide to beat this thing... It helps to pamper yourself once in a while and to know that there are days that are going to be emotionally challenging....Hang in there, you can do this!!!

    Hugs to you Dawne..
    And cry
    Hugs to you Dawne..
    And cry away! It does feel good and why would they write so many songs about it if it didn't :)
    Hugs,
    Wanda
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #21
    Lighthouse_7 said:

    Hugs to you Dawne..
    And cry
    Hugs to you Dawne..
    And cry away! It does feel good and why would they write so many songs about it if it didn't :)
    Hugs,
    Wanda

    some days you just need a
    some days you just need a good cry. I hated those dang drains more than anything, dont know why but couldnt stand them. things will get better and life will be 'normal" again too normal actually. Hugs!

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