Cancer shock

bibliophile

That is a valid fear, but the thing I am going to is a couples dinner with friends from college. One of the husbands was diagnosed with stage IV CRC with mets to lung and liver almost 15 years ago at age 35. He wasn't supposed to make it more than a few years, but after some hard years of treatment, he has been NED for over 10 years, so there is always hope. 😊 It will be very fun to see them tonight. Thanks.

Tkracke

How was the dinner

donna_lee

So sorry to hear of the "really unexpected news." Had the same reaction in 2006, 2007, and 2008. They gave me maybe 5 -7 months unless "something could be done." Well, it was DONE. I've described it when I first started here in about 2010 0r 11.

In 2006, I was able to hold my new granddaughter when she was born that August. I whispered in her ear that she couldn't marry until she was 50 and I wanted to be there. Shoot for the moon, I say. I'm 82 1/2, she's a sophomore at the University and I'm still around. Her older sister got married in Hawaii last year and I was there. And my Oncologist sent a letter in late 2023 that he no longer needed to see me. Just go to my Internist and Nephologist for maintenance issues.

There is hope. Just keep on being positive. The soreness and discomfort eventually goes away. Things to do for yourself include; plenty of walking and other exercises, drink plenty of water-no alcohol, no carbonated drinks (too much phosphorus and calcium for one kidney), encourage healing by using lotion on your skin/scar tissue, shower in warm water and turn it cooler as you finish as hot water causes inflammation and itching, lose weight if needed, keep mentally and emotionally active with others. Participate in cancer related discussion and support groups.

If you understand why there is discomfort, realize that there are layers of tissue, fascia, muscle, fat and connective tissue that was cut to access the kidney. Each layer was stitched and stretched back together. There was trauma to the nerves and blood vessels. Mine was the Right kidney and I too have a 14 inch scar, as they also removed the set of nodes posterior to the kidney (2/11 positive), gall bladder and duct due to a congenital abnormality, along with the left lobe of my liver that was positive for cancer. As soon as I could drive, I went to the pool to exercise and started back to work part time.

You CAN do it. Keep up the good work.

donna_lee

(there was another Donna who posted for a while)

Tkracke

Thank you for the words, it’s much appreciated. I guess in my head I thought I’d be back to normal by now. I think that’s where my disappointment with my self is. This is my first introduction to major surgery and what an experience it has been. I’m coming up on two months since the surgery and I still have pain by my ribs and a lot of pain from my sternum to my belly button. It hurts when I first wake, but hurts most in the afternoon and evening. Not knowing what’s next or if I’m healing correctly bothers me. I have my next post op appointment in November. I guess I’ll know then.

Tkracke

I guess the question is, and it might be a dumb one, is the pain at this point normal?

bibliophile

Hey, how are things going? I've had a crazy two weeks so I haven't been following the boards.

Tkracke

what’s been going on to make it so crazy? Me I’m hanging in there. Physically I’m getting better. I’m using my walker less and starting to get around a bit on my own. I’m trying to get myself ready to go back to work in two weeks. Mentally the fog from all the medication I was on is lifting. My mental state is not so good. I’m reflecting on what has transpired and it is taking a toll. I’m just in a weird state right now. I see the end game and I really doubt if I’ll be able to preform like I did before. I thought life would kinda slow down, you know smell the roses kinda thing, but I hear the clock ticking in my head and it’s tickling faster and faster. I don’t know, like I said I’m in a weird state. How’s everything with you?

bibliophile

Glad that it sounds like your pain is getting better and you are getting around more. Things have been crazy because of all the traveling and big events we have had. My son got married on November 1st so that was super fun and a wonderful day, but crazy and not uncomplicated since one of the other kids ended up in the ER that weekend (long story). Then last week we had my checkup at Mayo, so we were in Minnesota for 4 days. That ended up being really "good news" in that my chemo is working, my PET scan came back much better, the CT scan showed that the problem spots were all either stable or had shrunk, my CtDNA is undetectable, my CEA is down, so they did an exploratory laparoscopy which confirmed that I was a good candidate for cytoreduction surgery. So, in my case good news is that I "get" to have a huge complicated surgery to resect multiple "unnecessary" organs and remove all the other suspicious looking spots they might see while they are in there. So I understand weird head spaces. This is all highly positive in terms of improving my statistical odds and overall survival and all that, but a major open abdominal surgery (that is reputedly very painful) doesn't really feel like good news. 🤣 I am very grateful that chemo is working and I am a candidate for surgery, though, because my prognosis stunk otherwise.

Tkracke

Oh wow how did he end up in the ER. I sure hope the surgery is a success. I’ll be praying for you. I go back to the dr tomorrow and hope I can resume regular duties. I’m so glad the scan is showing good results. I know what I’ve gone through isn’t as severe as what you’re going through. I’m just glad we’re both showing improvement. I guess it is still tripping me up that if my toe hadn’t gone to you know what, my wife would be planning my funeral in a few months. It was that close to spreading out of control. It gives me a new meaning for thanksgiving. Please keep me posted on your progress. What are your plans for the holiday?

bibliophile

Yes! There are always things to be thankful for, even in the hard things.

My daughter dislocated her knee badly after playing pickleball at the bacholorette party and that was what landed her in the ER. Thankfully, she is improving quickly and she was still able to be a bridesmaid without crutches.

I hope you get good news at the doctor and can go back to work.

We are hosting Thanksgiving this year which is always a mix of extended family and friends of my college kids who didn't have anywhere else to go because they live too far away to go home for just a few days. Should be fun! What about you?

Tkracke

I’m going to the in-laws house. My granddaughter is going to be here which is great. It’s going to be much smaller this year as compared to years past. It’ll just be my wife’s parents her brother, myself, my bride, three youngest kids and my granddaughter. I guess we’ll start the prep work this weekend. I’m hoping for a quiet day with no talk of cancer or the close call with it or anything like that. I know it won’t be it’ll probably dominate the day. I just want to go back to the way it was before, but I know it’ll never be that way. Next year it’ll be oh a year ago you were getting over cancer. I know they mean well but jeez. I HATE being made to feel like a victim. Anyway, what do you normally have for thanksgiving dinner?

bibliophile

Would it work to send a polite message to everyone ahead of time saying that you would love to just have a "normal" Thanksgiving without having to talk about your cancer the whole time? I totally relate. We have a very traditional Thanksgiving: turkey, cranberry, stuffing, mashed potatoes, homemade bread, brussels sprouts (I don't know if that is traditional), green beans (but NOT casserole 🤣), and LOTS of pies. Everyone has their favorite so I usually make at least 4 kinds.

Tkracke

That sounds good! We do turkey, cornbread dressing, cranberry sauce, Mac and cheese and green bean casserole and sweet potatoes. I could ask that we don’t talk about it but inevitably it’ll drift to that being the cent point of conversation. I’d rather just not say anything as to not offend anyone. I’ll just talk about it and move on. I’m getting nervous about going back to work. This is the first time I’ve had to question my ability to preform. The emotion is high today. I just want to be normal.